Forever and Always
by dailydose1996
Summary: "I hate this. I absolutely hate this. I hate having to play this part of his girlfriend when I absolutely hate his guts. Always have and probably always will" Yet another story of how Katniss and Peeta hate each other yet date to help save their careers. Rated M for language and (eventually) sexual content. Modern Day AU.
1. Ready for it?

I hate this. I absolutely hate this. I hate having to play this part of his girlfriend when I absolutely hate his guts. Always have and probably always will. I only do it for the extra money because the few modelling gigs I have and my Sommelier job at Capitol Bistro doesn't quite cover my bills, Prim's medical school, and mother's meds and therapy.

The beauty tech is finishing powdering my nose as my agent, Haymitch, walks in, holding a mug of what I can only assume is Irish coffee because he's never not drinking. "Ready sweetheart?", he tries to contain his laughter about my obnoxious look.

"I guess", I scowl back at him as I get up and grab the clothes that he's picked out. Thankfully this gold dress is a little more conservative then the strapless, plunge neckline black top and tight leather pants he had me in for last month's shoot for shampoo. I normally just wear my hair in a braid while on shift so have my hair flowing freely was a nice change I guess. I slip on the dress and grab the black stilettos he's so fashionably paired to complete the outfit. I'm very thankful I don't have to walk too far in these things because I might break an ankle. "You just had to pick the stilettos to slut the look up because the dress wasn't good enough, huh?"

"Oh sweetheart, you know me way too well", he laughs and walks out the room. I follow him scowling and trying not to trip. I might be a three-year model veteran but I don't walk runways or in heels. Immediately entering the interview room, I feel his presence. Or should I say his voice. His baritone voice echoes through the whole room and he has Caesar Flickerman and his agent Cato Greene howling over some joke he told. His grin reaches from one sea blue eye to the other.

"Ah, there she is! My beautiful girlfriend, Katniss", Peeta's voice booms across the room as he walks towards me with his arms outstretched. He's wearing a fitted black button-down shirt with matching black slacks, completed with a silver tie. His hair is a curly mess, apparently just the way he likes it because no one is allowed to touch his hair except for him. I'm so well-trained from my somm job that a wide smile comes to my face and my training from Haymitch, I force a blush at his compliment.

"Aw, only for you Peeta", I say as I try to not look like an inebriated person, as I strut, almost stumbling to him. I place my hands around his neck and he places his on my waist. He brings me in a for hug and whispers in my ear, "can you only be drunk when you're around me now?". The room must think he's whispering sweet nothings, so I just smile and pull back to look him dead in the eye and say my "thanks" to him and plant a rehearsed gentle kiss on his cheek.

Everyone in the room thinks nothing of it except our agents and Peeta's teammate Finnick. He only knows because he walked in on Peeta fucking a prostitute a few weeks ago and he had to tell him the truth about our "relationship".

"Alright, you two love birds let's get this interview started!", Caesar says, gesturing us over to the couch while he sits in his chair. This isn't our first interview together but our first with Caesar. He's notorious for picking a part "fake" relationships that are so prevalent in Panem's Capitol right now. We both have bonuses from our agents if we successfully get Caesar off our tails thinking this is a fake relationship. I straighten out my dress, gracefully take my seat next to Peeta, kick off my heels and curl up next to him. Just like we rehearsed he leans back into the couch and throws his left arm around me and places his hand on my ass. This catches me off guard and I gasp up at him. He has a wicked smile on his face, which I'm sure Caesar picks up on. Peeta chuckles and moves his hand to my hip and starts to slowly caress my side. I relax again and am ready for Caesar's questions.

Some director yells for quiet on set and the set lights turn way up, making my dress shimmer, I'm sure of it. "Alright Caesar, in 3, 2", the director points at Caesar for him to begin the interview.

"Tonight on 'Interviews by a Flickering Fire', I have the hottest couple of the year: Star outfielder and slugger for the Capitol Careers Peeta Mellark and his stunning model and professional Sommelier girlfriend Katniss Everdeen!", Caesar gestures towards us and I smile toward the camera as Peeta kisses the top of my forehead. "Well aren't you two just the sweetest!", Caesar gushes over us and I relax even more, praying that he's already convinced that we're so deeply in love. Caesar can smell fake couple from a mile away and has outted three in the past month. Haymitch and Cato made us both watch the episodes to ensure we weren't outted. Peeta was the one that suggested we watch the episodes together and come up with a game plan to be good to go. I thought he was crazy but maybe not because it's working so far.

"So, Peeta, the country and especially the Capitol has noticed you make it big in the outfield of the Careers this past season. You crushed 45 home runs, led the league in RBIs with 125, were selected to your third consecutive All Star game, helped the Careers to make the playoffs for the first time in twenty years and to top it off you were named MVP of the Even District League! How's it feel to be doing this well at such a young age?", says Caesar with his wicked smile still plastered on his face.

Peeta chuckles a little before sitting forward, shifting me off his shoulder. I sit up straight as well and place my left hand on his knee while my right hand plays with the hair on the back of his head, gently though because he'd have a fit if I mess it up too much and I can't cause too much of a scene. I can feel him tense at the gesture and it makes me smile knowing I've annoyed him just enough, so I move my hand down to the lower part of his back.

"Well, I'd like to say it was completely me, but my teammates really helped me through this season after the trade from my hometown team the District 12 Miners. I've really only known District 12, so the transition was tough but Finnick Odair got me through. Plus, I was able to meet up and finally ask out my beautiful, talented and very intelligent girlfriend", he looks over to me and gently kisses me. These are the types of kisses, the gentle, slow and lingering pecks that make me question why I hate him so much. He leans his forehead on mine and I breathe in his cologne almost forgetting were at an interview. Sadly, that meeting part of our story is a lie. We more or less were both dragged in to this to help boost Peeta's like ability and my model career since it was slumping.

Peeta just so happened to be at the bar of Capitol Bistro with Cato, just a day after Haymitch and I had it our about my career. I thought I was done after that conversation. Haymitch overheard Cato scrutinize Peeta for being a womanizer and already being caught with a prostitute a week into being in the Capitol. The fans weren't going to like it, and neither was the team going to allow it to continue. Being the genius that he is and the fact that Cato and Haymitch work under the same agency firm, they hatched the plan a week later. Little did they know, we actually knew eachother and I couldn't stand him. I didn't know how he felt about me but from the last words we spoke with each other were met with shoving, I didn't think he'd like the idea either. The meeting was met with apprehension on my part. Peeta might have been willing to do this if I was but ever since I voiced my disdain of this prospect, he rejected it too. We couldn't get out of it because both our agent threatened to drop us completely and I was going to miss out on the rest of my contract and couldn't do that to Prim

"You guys have been the talk of the town since Peeta was traded here in May!", Caesar practically screams at us and I try my best to not jerk away from Peeta. We're playing Caesar so well I'm almost convinced were a couple right now. "Now, I've heard the shorten version of your 'story' but Katniss, do tell how you fell for Peeta!", Caesar asks while batting his eyes at us.

Peeta again leans back into the couch, stretching out his arms and says, "Ah, yes, babe do tell! I love this story." I roll my eyes at his use of babe and am reminded as to why I hate Peeta. He's arrogant and too cocky for his own good. I believe he was just lucky to be where he is today. The one game District 12 Miners recruiters were there to see him play was at the district championship at District 12 Central High. He hit two home runs and stole away the game winner for the other team. He then trained with the Miners during the summer months, when he was home from Panem University at District 12, where he helped them to two national championships. Okay, maybe he isn't just lucky, but he urks me to no end that he thinks he's Mr. Perfect and its been this way since high school.

"Well, Caesar, Peeta and I met, or should I say collided when we were, uh what about six years old?", I question towards Peeta and he nods. I don't need to do this, but I do it for effect to make it seem like its been forever that we've known each other. "Right, I was picking dandelions on the recess field because I thought the yellow color was really pretty. Peeta was playing tag with a couple of his friends, when he tripped over me because he was yelling over his shoulder that someone couldn't catch him", I chuckle and look back at Peeta because this part is true. He tripped over me and broke his forearm on the ground.

Peeta nods and adds, "I even broke my arm! I guess you could say I've been falling for you ever since." The whole room starts to laugh at his joke while I just roll my eyes, I hope playfully because I'm seething inside about his stupid joke.

"Anyways, we didn't actually speak until he came back to school late the next day. He yelled at me about how he wasn't able to do anything at recess now for six weeks and I yelled right back about how he ruined my dandelion patch! We started shoving each other because who knows why, and the teacher had to pull us apart and told us we weren't allowed outside for recess for a week!", I exclaim trying to act really pissed over the situation because I was really upset over those dandelions and he never actually apologized. That fight was the last we spoke before meeting up this past May.

Peeta chimes in because this is how we rehearsed it. "I thought that week was going to be absolute torture because I loved the outdoors, even if I was only sitting but especially since I had to sit in the classroom with a girl who, you know, had cooties", he says while squishing his face with the word 'cooties', "However, that was the week, I fell in love with the most stubbornly intelligent girl there is. She wowed me with her math skills that she didn't want to show me at first and this girl could draw the best flowers. But the thing that won me over was her singing. She didn't know it until I told her when we met back up in May, that I heard her singing to herself while I had asked to go to the bathroom. I could have sworn the birds outside had stopped to listen to her as well. That was when I knew I was a goner and I promised myself I would do anything to have this girl as my wife one day", he gushes while rubbing my hand. The room has gone quiet and like always I'm captivated by the story because a majority of it is true except the singing part. I'm absolutely possible he never heard me sing until we were in high school. It completes the cuteness factor of the story though if it happened then.

"Oh my god! That is one true love story! What happens next? Did you date before college? Why wait so long? Oh! I have so many questions!", Caesar is just about out of his chair, smiling like an idiot at us. I guess our story is working because he never acted like this on the episodes he outted the couples.

"Peeta and I were two completely different people. We talked throughout our school years now and then, but he was a star jock and I was in choir. Our worlds never really met. But I kept my eye on him. I went to every game, granted I was signing the national anthem but I used it as an excuse to watch him play", I say as I elaborate to Caesar. "It didn't help that our schedules never crossed so we didn't have classes together. But we said hi in the halls and he would always compliment me on my singing after the game. He signed with Panem University at District 12 to play baseball and I was set to go to school here in the Capitol as I accepted an academic scholarship", I say trying to speed this story up because I'm over Peeta caressing my back and I need out of this constraining dress.

"I dropped out of Panem University at Capitol Mountain when I discovered I was really good at blind tasting wines. I took some classes, started waiting tables at Capitol Bistro and am now a certified sommelier with them. Haymitch, my agent, was a regular of the Capitol Bistro and slipped me his card for a modeling gig a few years back and now, I guess, I'm doing pretty well for not completing my engineering degree!", I laugh and patting Peeta's knee to try to make him stop rubbing my back. I don't think he's doing it on purpose because the pat shakes him out of some type of trance. "Through the years, though, I kept an eye out for Peeta to play his first game with the Miners and was extremely happy for him when he hit a homerun his first at bat! I was even more excited for him to be traded here to the Capitol to play for the Careers because there could be a chance I could see him again and I could tell him how I really felt about him", I gush, looking up into his sea blue orbs, thankful this story is almost over.

"And what did you tell him?", Caesar almost falls out of his chair with excitement and if this doesn't seal up my bonus I don't know what will.

"Caesar?" I say questioningly.

"Yes?", Caesar says with the excitement of a little kid in a candy store.

"Some times private words like telling someone you love them should be kept quiet because those words were meant for Peeta's ear and his alone because he's the only one I love and have loved since the day I caught him swaying with his eyes closed to me singing", I say. I fold back into Peeta has he rubs my side again. I close my eyes for added effect because I know we nailed this interview and that bonus is going toward a nice bottle of wine for my tasting seminar next weekend.

"Well I'll be damned! You guys are so in love! I just have one last question!", Caesar exclaims. I keep my eyes close and nod as Peeta asks what his question is.

"Peeta, when are you proposing? It just seems that's the way your headed, am I right?", Caesar questions. My eyes fly wide open because this isn't a question we've been asked nor a question that has ever been asked on Caesar's show. I feel Peeta squirm a little and I can only assume he's thinking what I'm thinking: he knows were faking. "Oh, have I asked a question you guys haven't yet? I'm so sorry, I just thought that's where this was headed! Peeta even mentioned he's wanted you as his wife since he heard you sing! My bad completely", Caesars says almost too slyly.

We're both sitting up right now, just barely touching. I can tell Caesar is about to wrap everything because the director is again present by the camera. I jump a little when Peeta starts talking, "Caesar. Not to be rude but I didn't exactly plan for this to happen here." Peeta starts gesturing toward Finnick and I'm for only a brief second confused as to what he's doing.

"Oh my GAWDDD!," Caesar yells and I must have the most shocked face on because this is a surprise to me, what he's doing right now was not planned, and I know I what I have to say.

Peeta has returned with the ring box which I didn't even know he possessed but thinking of it his agent probably had one purchased a month into this ridiculous act. He gets down on one knee and says, "Kat, I have loved you since you sang the Valley song some twenty years ago. You complete my life by pushing me to be a better man", horse shit I think. How long has he been rehearsing this? "I know you could have another man but for some reason you've chosen me", he continues, and he's got that right. I do have another man and he treats me ten times better then he ever could. "I'd be lying if I said you need me. But the truth is I need you and I want you to be in my life forever more. So, Katniss Everdeen, my love, will you make me the happiest man on earth by becoming my wife?" He pops open the ring box and the size of the diamond in the box has to be worth two cases of 1982 La Romanee. I hesitate slightly and shake my head because this is unbelievable. Peeta starts to frown and his brows start to furrow because of my hesitation.

"You idiot", I whisper. I believe only Peeta hears and no one else. I start to nod my head yes and allow the tears to flow. Not because I'm over joyed, because we're about to dig a deeper hole into this act that's going to be a lot harder to get out of. I drop my head into my hands, as I continue to nod my head yes. Peeta creeps closer to hug my and whispers, "I didn't know what else to do."

"We're all waiting over here for her answer!", Caesar says all to happily.

Peeta turns around with his arms still around me and I lift my head. "I said yes!", I say through the tears with as much gleefulness as possible. The place erupts with joy when Peeta seals the proposal with a passionate kiss that almost makes my knees buckle. Before I know it, I'm engulfed in a hug from Caesar, Finnick and I think Cato. Caesar breaks away to close the show and I hear the director yell cut. I have a few producers surround me to gawk at the ring and congratulate me and I want to hit Peeta with his baseball bat. Haymitch is no where in sight, probably off looking for alcohol, which is probably the only thing I want more than hitting Peeta upside the head.

* * *

 **AN: Oh what will Katniss and Peeta do? The next chapter will be in Peeta's perspective and will pick up right after. There will be flashbacks included in this story and will be indicated with italics. If you have any questions on some of the language and what a sommelier is just let me know! Hope y'all enjoyed this! (and yes chapters and the title is based off of Taylor Swift song's)**


	2. I did something bad

**AN: Just a fair warning, this was my first attempt at writing from Peeta's perspective. I struggled with this chapter with how I wanted to to play out but I'm happy with the result! There will be more notes at the bottom. Enjoy! (Peeta POV)**

* * *

It's chaos after my proposal to Katniss closes the interview. I'm surrounded by Caesar, Cato and Finnick offering congratulations to me. Cato and Finn know its fake, but Caesar doesn't, so they play along. I keep one eye on Katniss and watch her stumble her way back to her dressing room on those heels Haymitch made her wear for this ridiculous act. As much as I like teasing her, I know what I just did was bad. Her and her actual boyfriend, Gale, were doing well for once since we broke the news to him that we were going public. Gale and Katniss "broke up" because I was in town and she just had to tell me how she really felt. Or some bullshit like that we told one of the first news outlets. I don't remember because of the season extending into October.

I chase after her, trying not to yell at her to slow down. I follow her into her room, thankful she didn't slam the door on me. Haymitch is gazing at his phone while sipping on his mug, probably with whiskey, which I could use myself. Katniss is pacing, mumbling to herself as I close the door to the room because I know I'm about to be yelled at.

"Katniss, I.." I try to say but I'm cut off by a glass flying at my head. I barely duck out of the way and raise only to see her with another glass in hand.

"Hey! You have no..", I start but Haymitch rises and rushes to her side and she slowly brings down the glass. I don't want to upset her anymore, so I start backing away even though I could tell her off. I could also just break this "engagement" off right now, blow the whole charade up to Caesar in a matter of seconds. I know better though because I like playing for the Careers and I think we actually have a shot at a Championship this year. Blowing this whole story up would likely end my career and shot at ever playing baseball again or even working, for that matter.

"Well, then. Good aim, Kat", Haymitch says as he snatches the glass from her hand, "but we talked about how you can't throw things last year when you broke an entire case of Champagne sent to you by the Illustrated Exec." Katniss's is furious, and I can tell she wants to punch him in the face. I've never seen her this angry. I thought our first week of "dating" was bad but this ferocity toward me and Haymitch has me strangely turned on. Her eyes glimmer in the weak yellow light of the room. She's well defined and I curse under my breath for thinking that way of her.

"Oh, fuck you Haymitch. I wouldn't be in this situation if you had just let me walk away from my contract in April", she says. She quickly turns on her heel and takes her street clothes into the bathroom to change. I assume so she can get the hell out of here before the story breaks.

I'm just about out of the door when Cato and Finnick come barging in with a cart of champagne and flutes. "On behalf of Capitol Studios, they have sent in a bottle of District 1 sparkling", Cato says with little enthusiasm. I try not to roll my eyes and grab a glass.

Finnick walks up behind me and puts his arm around my shoulder and says, "You alright, bro?"

I only shake my head while downing the wine. Its acidic on my tongue and I crave something stronger. I really want a double scotch, but I have a strength training session with Finn in a few hours that I have to attend. Thankfully it's the last one with him before Spring Training, which gets me excited that I can leave this hellhole in two weeks for four weeks to be in District 4 to prepare for the season. More importantly I'll be away from Katniss and can really think about what I just did to turn this whole relationship on its head.

Katniss has reappeared from the bathroom. Her classic braid, dark wash jeans and tight fit t-shirt drive me crazy because she looks so fucking good in them. I'd be lying to myself if I said I didn't find her sexually attractive. I curse again and down another glass of champagne. I really wish the contract and obligation wasn't how I had to reintroduce myself. I know I was an asshole back in high school, not just to her but to pretty much everyone around me. But when one ex-pro coach tells you that you could make it big, you push other's emotions aside and strive for what you want. Her strut toward the cart catches me off guard and I'm reminded of the first time I saw her in the Capitol.

 _"_ _You are going to do this, otherwise I'm telling the Careers about what happened last weekend", Cato threatens. I want to believe it's an empty threat, but this isn't the first time I've fucked up during a season. He's been my agent since I was picked up by the miners a few years ago and has followed me to the Capitol. I was thankful that he was able to transfer within Panem Agents from District 12 to the Capitol. He told me there was better opportunity for other athletic contracts around the Capitol which made the move an easy decision but never really elaborated past that._

 _"_ _Well who is this girl from District 12 that I "supposedly" know that I'll be pretending to date for the rest of the season?" I say as the double doors to Cato's new office swing open. To my horror, its Katniss Everdeen. "Un-fucking-believable", I curse under my breath and my wildest dreams and fears are coming true. I'm taken back to the last time we talked, which I think was in kindergarten. Her hair was in two braids instead of one, like it is today. Her hazel grey eyes shimmer in the natural light that comes into Cato's office and I realize that Katniss has grown into be a gorgeous woman. She's in dark jeans and a tight fitted t-shirt that shows off her petite figure. I could have sworn she was taller in high school but she's almost a foot shorter than me. I'm taken aback by her lack of smile that I remember so vividly from elementary school. If the rumors were true though, people said she lost her smile when she lost her dad. I was never able to confirm that because I lost all contact with her when I started playing elite baseball and never had time for anyone else. I had, however, read a few stories here and there about her being a genius about wine or something like that and that she was doing really well for herself here in the Capitol. I'm instantly happy for her, knowing she's one of the few to make it out of District 12. I'm game for this fake relationship even if it has to be with the girl that had a part in me breaking my arm when I was six. Maybe it will turn into something real._

 _I extend my hand to greet her but am met with a scoff and a cross of her arms. I jerk backwards, stunned at her reaction. Honestly, I didn't think she knew about me ahead of time or even that she would have remembered me._

 _"_ _I'm only here so I can pay for my bills. You can keep your fucking hand to yourself", she says with a huff as she takes a seat across from Cato. Her agent is headed toward Cato's minibar and pours himself a lowball glass of scotch. My kinda man, I think. I retake my seat beside her and glance between her, Cato and her agent._

 _"_ _Haymitch, please, we have a lot to discuss", Cato says._

I'm pulled out of the memory by Katniss's annoyance voice that she uses when she doesn't get her way with something or someone has messed up. She's complaining about the wine not being imported but is picking up a glass anyway. She is a model after all but her stubbornness and need to be right consistently right bugs the shit out of me. The fact that she couldn't go one night when we "go out", when I was in town last season, without criticizing the restaurant or wait staff almost made me "break up" with her. It's sickening.

I down another glass and walk out of her dressing room and stalk over to mine. I slam the door and start pacing the room. I'm about to start changing when I hear a knock at the door. "Whomever it is, please leave me alone so I can change and get out of here", I say to ever who wants to enter.

"Peet, its me", Finn says as he opens the door. "Just checking up on you. Did you still want to go to training later with Thom?", he asks.

"We better be because I have some anger to punch out", I say as I pull on my jeans.

"Oh, well Cato wanted to let you know, he thought you two should spend..", he starts to say but I cut him off

"You have got to be fucking kidding me", I question him. "Well fuck. Guess I have to make a reservation at some restaurant then, so we can "go celebrate". Those were his words, right?", I ask buttoning up my shirt, not wanting to make the reservation with the best restaurant in the nation currently because why would I give her anything less.

"Actually, he didn't say you had to. Just a suggestion", he says shyly. Finn is similar to me in build and height, but he has a wicked slider and is one of the better pitchers in the league. He's a few years older than me and has taught me a lot these past few months about withstanding the media and just playing your game. I don't think I would have made it through "dating" Katniss without him.

I had to put a lot of trust in him though, because I got really drunk one night after we lost in the playoffs in District 2 and told him everything. How I actually might like her, but the whole thing is fake. He wasn't convinced it was fake and was really confused so to get Katniss to tell him the whole story without telling her what I told him. So I came up with the prositute lie: he walked in on me fucking a prostitute, he thought I was cheating, had to explain about fake relationship, he didn't believe it, have to have her explain. Boom easy out.

Now that I think of it, we may be the "hottest" and "trendiest" couple of the year, but most of my teammates haven't even met her. I'm beginning to believe that people will believe what ever they read and consume it like no other. Thankfully, my teammates haven't questioned me on it other than asked if she's a good fuck. I only responded with 'would I be with her otherwise' laughed and got back to getting ready to play the game. They left it alone after that.

"Good, because were boxing when we get to the gym", I say as I run my fingers through my hair briefly. Cato walks in the door and informs me I have to take a car back with Katniss and will most likely have to face a bunch of paparazzi when we get back to "our apartment". Its nothing new, since we normally do this. Haymitch had the brilliant idea of moving me in to the apartment across from Katniss. For business purposes though I supposedly live in Finn's building. I was supposed to move in there since a few other teammates lived there and they offered me a discount upon signing the lease. I technically owe rent to each but Cato and Haymitch worked out a deal in my contract to cover the one in Katniss's building.

I roll my eyes at the prospect of the mass amount of paparazzi being there since the story most likely won't be released until after the interview airs. There's always a few that greet us at the entrance because they know that Katniss lives there and I'm more than likely to show up with her. The also know that we just had an interview with Caesar and will want to know how it went. The Capitol Broadcast building is pretty secure, and we should be able to make it out of the area without being seen.

I finish the last touches on my hair and tell Finn I'll see him at my apartment so we can hit the gym in a few hours. I make my way toward the elevator and hope I can have a peaceful ride down without having to see Katniss or Haymitch. I'm out of luck when I almost knock over Haymitch turning into the elevator bay. "Watch it there, lover boy", he says while gripping tightly onto his mug.

I scowl at the nickname he uses for me. He started using it when Cato told him about the second prostitute I had slept with in October. Katniss is on her phone, texting furiously, to who I can only I assume is either work or Gale. I assume it's the latter because she didn't even move when Haymitch said anything to me.

"Fucking lovely", I say under my breath, hoping no one heard me. Cato elbows me in the ribs and I known I've been caught cursing about this situation. The elevator ride down is painfully quiet. I try to lose myself in emails about spring training, but the ride is too short. To my horror a few paparazzi have gathered outside the doors of the building and I'll have to hold Katniss's hand out to the car.

I hear Katniss curse under her breath and I've never been in more agreement with her. I didn't want to have to face the media until we were back at the apartment building. I'm mad, Katniss looks pissed and Haymitch is about to say something when I grab Katniss's hand and head toward the exit.

"Peet-taa, you're cutting the circulation off from my hand", Katniss says, and I stop as we're just about to head outside. She's added a jacket to her outfit for the short trip out to the car but no gloves, so her hands are on full display. I look between her, Cato and Haymitch. I'm looking for confirmation about showing off the ring or if I need to hide it with just holding her hand. I'm assuming that's what Haymitch was going to tell me because he only nods from fifty feet behind us. Katniss is just turning her head to see Haymitch and Cato shake their heads yes at my assumption. I only have a second to respond and try not to literally pull her out the door. I stop a few feet from the few cameras and turn her, so her left hand is facing them.

"What ar-", she starts as I cup her chin in my hands and I cut her off.

"Just trust me", I whisper. I lean in and that's all she needs because she has to play this act too. Her hands naturally come up to my biceps, as we kiss in front of the paparazzi. They go crazy once one of them sees the ring on Katniss's finger. They're egging me on to take the kiss deeper and I'm about to when someone slaps me on the shoulder and snaps me out of my trance. We jerk away from each other and I realize it was Haymitch.

I'm both thankful and frustrated at him for this. For being a 27-year-old baseball star, you'd think I would be able to have sex all the time whenever I wanted to. Being in the fake relationship, however, has halted all that and every time, Katniss and I have kissed since October, I'm set on fire by her touches. I hate it. I absolutely hate this. I hate that she makes me feel this way when clearly, she never wants anything to do with me. I think I hear an 'oh fuck', on her part but ignore it because we have another task of getting to the car after the display we just put on.

"Move before I end all of your careers!", Haymitch yells. If by magic everyone moves out of the way and I take Katniss's hand again and I lead the way toward the black Mercedes. I open the door for Katniss and I follow in after her.

The ride is relatively silent besides Katniss's humming to whatever her phone is playing through her head phones. Her choice of songs is weird because I think I pick up on Post Malone and then she switches over to something popier. Is that Taylor Swift? Taylor Swift and pop? Where have I been? She's looking out the window, ignoring me completely, so I go back to emails about upcoming travel schedules. I'm pleasantly surprised when I find out I can report to my District 4 housing a few days earlier than I thought I could go there. I message Finn to tell him that I'll actually be able to road trip with him down there on Sunday. It's only Wednesday so it gives me plenty of time to pack up everything I need for the next month and a half in District 4.

After the emails I realize were only half way through the city and still have another ten minutes until we arrive. I want to bug her and ask what the 'oh fuck' was about but she's so engrossed in humming to 'I Fall Apart', its not worth it. I keep replaying that kiss we just had. I didn't mean for it to be so intense, but I was so pissed that they were there, and I'm still pissed at Katniss for throwing that glass at my head, I wanted to make her pay somehow. The only way I knew was to kiss her like I wanted to fuck her. Because if I'm honest with myself, if she said she wanted me to fuck her, I would be more than happy to. Gale, however, has that pleasure currently.

"Aw, shit", I breath outwardly, a little too loud because Katniss takes one of her headphones out.

"What?", she asks with a questioning look.

"Gale", is all I say and look back out the window. She rolls up the divide between the driver and us and that's the signal that were breaking character.

"Why the fuck are you worried about him? Are you two dating now? Did I miss something? Because last time I checked I was dating him and have to deal with everything with him too", she bites back. "I'm so sorry that my REAL relationship with Gale has intruded on you getting any with anyone but that's the way this situation works", she says sarcastically. "We wouldn't even be in this situation if you hadn't decided to go and fuck some prostitute the first weekend you were here. You could have tried Tinder or some other dating app. Besides you're a baseball star, you could get who ever you wanted whenever you wanted" she says turning back to the window.

"Don't you fucking think that I wanted any of this to happen. Don't you think I would have done anything to avoid having to date you? And besides, Haymitch said you were struggling to make ends meet and that's why you agreed to this. You could probably walk away from this contract now and be better off", I hiss back and I know I've hit a nerve because she whips around and slaps me.

"You have no right to talk about my finances when you don't even know the half of it", she says as her voice catches. I can see tears forming and I drop everything because were almost to the apartment. Cato must have some sort of tracking on my phone now because I get a text that says that we better repeat the same scene here that we did at the studio.

"Well, shit Katniss, we have to do this..", I start to say but Haymitch must have texted her too because she cuts me off with an 'I know'.

The final few minutes to the apartment are unbearable and I'm itching at my pants to get this over with. The driver pulls up to the apartment with Katniss closest to the entrance, so I have to go around and open the door for her. I offer my hand to her and she raises her left hand and the ring is just another slap in the face. A $1.4 million stunner, that I had no choice of, is staring me in the face, almost mocking me. I hear the cameras going off and the few paparazzi that are here are all yelling for Katniss to show off the ring. I practically slam the door behind her and try to do the best to guide her past all of them. I really don't want to kiss her again, I just want to drink and sulk until training later, but I stop when she tugs on my shirt.

"Don't you fucking dare think about not repeating what we did earlier. You know Cato and Haymitch would have our heads", she hisses in my ear. I'm so angry with her that I whip around, almost knocking her over. I try to play it off as if I was dipping her for a kiss. Something is different about this kiss from her. It's almost as if she is needy because she's never so easily allowed me to French her. At the beginning, Cato had told me I should deepen any kiss that I could because it had better value and looked more convincing that pecks or short kisses. It took a few months before Katniss would agree to this. I don't know if it's the shock value of the position of the kiss or if she's actually wanting me to kiss her this way. I pull back to look at her and she still has her eyes closed, almost as if in a trance. I place her back steadily on her feet and grab her hand and again she whispers a curse that she probably doesn't think I hear.

This interview and two stunts has fucked with my head so much, I don't even realize that a reporter has followed us into the elevator. I'm about to drop Katniss's hand, when she twists her body to hug me. "We're going to have to keep this charade up because that's a reporter", she barely whispers into my ear, sliding her hands down my back and grabbing my ass. I keep my eyes forward and slowly begin to move my hands up and down her body and I plant my hands firmly on her ass. I'm rewarded with an audible gasp and I smirk. I can hear the camera shutter go off again and again. The sound bugs the hell out of me and since this hasn't happened to us before my only choice is to keep up the act. I pull her close and bury my hand into the crook of her neck breathing in her scent. It's not loud but I can hear Katniss moan softly into my ear as I begin to nib at the sensitive skin there. I keep willing my body to not give in to hers. It's hard to do so because I haven't touched another woman like this since October. The thought of the prostitute is instantly sobering and I'm mad at myself for even stooping to that level just to receive pleasure.

Katniss has noticed that I've slowed my movements and has eased off her hands slightly. I don't know what floor were on, but we have to be close to the top. "You guys are so adorable! I can't believe you're engaged after such a short dating period! But if I may ask if you could both just give me one sexy shot of you two? It'll sell for a lot", the reporter says and I lose it.

"Oh? You want sexy?", I ask. I pull a small wrestling move on Katniss and pin her to the elevator wall with her hands up above her head. My body blocks most of Katniss from the reporter and her eyes let me know she's furious with me. I slowly drag her hands down to rest them on my shoulders. We pulled this exact move this past summer for one of her modeling gigs so its nothing new. What I add though is the searing kiss I leave on Katniss's lips just as the elevator dings for the 30th floor. I pull back and say, "I hope that works for you and please don't follow because I want some alone time with my new fiancé."

The reporter shouts his thanks after us as I practically drag Katniss down the hall. We stop just short of her door and her hand meets my cheek again. "First, I'm telling Haymitch to up the security around here and second you had no right pulling that move in the elevator," she pushes her finger into my sternum while yelling at me her demands.

"You didn't seem to mind outside sweetheart", I say smirking. I turn as she audibly gasps to go to my apartment. I hear her door open and assume she gets inside except I hear, "Gale, please", from Katniss.

I turn just as Gale says "Mellark" and for a third time today I'm greeted by a hand. This time however its in a fist and everything goes black.

* * *

 **AN: Wowza! Gonna be honest, when I first started writing this chapter I didn't think it was gonna end with a partial make-out scene in an elevator lol. I did however want that sucker punch from Gale! I'm gonna be pretty busy these next few days so an update might take a little longer but I'll be trying to write as much possible whenever I can to get y'all an update! I don't know if I'll be doing alternating POV with each chapter but I did enjoy writing frustrated Peeta so we shall see. Until next time!**


	3. Sparks Fly

**I didn't mean for this update to take so long but I had to contemplate how I wanted it set up. Then out of no where I ended up with enough for two chapters! I haven't finished editing the second but hopefully will have it up soon. I technically could have keep these chapters together but felt that they need to be split. That being said this is more of a filler chapter with flashbacks of Katniss and Gale and Katniss's take on the elevator (bold). More notes at the end. Happy Reading!**

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 _"_ _Do you want to go check out that new bar across the street after work?" Gale says after he hands me the appetizer plates for table 28. I think he mumbles something after that but its lost in the kitchen noise_

 _"_ _Yea sure! I'll see if Jo, Darius and Madge want to tag along", I say turning when Gale reaches over the counter to grab my elbow. I'm caught off guard and almost drop the plates. "Agh, Gale! You almost made me drop these", I hiss._

 _"_ _Sorry, I just needed your attention because I said, 'just you and me so we could talk alone'", he says louder._

 _"_ _Oh", is all I say as I spin around and rush toward the dining room. What could he possible want to talk about? And then it hits me. Gale has been flirting with me every chance he gets when I run food. Oh god. Have I been flirting back? I'm too lost in the thought and just drop the plates at the table, almost spilling the soup all over the lady. I scan the dining room really quick to see if Jo or Madge is around but they're no where in sight. "Shit, they're working the PDR tonight", I whisper as I see Darius covering Jo's normal tables._

 _I spend as much time as possible polishing glasses and rolling silverware before daring to go back into the kitchen to run food. "Katniss! Stop rerolling silverware and get in the kitchen! Gale needs runners!", Effie, our maître d' screeches at me. Well there goes that. I don't want to make eye contact with Gale because I have no answer for my coworker. Or should I say sous chef. I made a promise to myself I wouldn't date a coworker when I started. Nope no way._

 _"_ _Table 13, Seats 1 and 2", Gale says to me as if he didn't just ask me out._

 _I don't know what makes me want to know how soft is lips are and how is calloused hands would feel on my body. I shake away the thoughts and repeat, "Table 13, seats 1 and 2" and head back toward the dining room. What the hell? NO! I try to will away the thoughts of doing anything with the fucking sous chef._

 _I try my hardest to avoid the kitchen for the rest of my shift, which I'm pretty successful with as the night goes on. I'm finishing wiping down the waiter's counter when Jo and Madge bump me. "What's got your face in scowl this time? Rough time with a customer?" Jo says while popping a cherry in her mouth._

 _"_ _I wish. It's Gale. He basically asked me out", I complain to them._

 _"_ _Wait. He basically asked you out? What does that mean?", Madge questions._

 _"_ _Well he invited me to the new bar across the street, which isn't anything new because, you know, we all normally go out, so I offered to ask you guys and Darius to tag along. Then he basically pulled me over and told me I misunderstood and just wanted it to be me and him", I say._

 _"_ _Oh, just do it! What's the harm? He's good looking, so are you. You two fuck and forget about it", Jo says._

 _"_ _I can't just fuck and walk away from the sous chef, Jo", I say folding the last of the napkins._

 _"_ _Yea well, sometimes it just a one-time thing and maybe that's what he's looking for but is trying to be a gentleman", Jo says collecting her bag and heads toward the door like our conversation didn't just happen. From talking to Gale, I don't think he'd be in this for "just a fuck". He's looking for a relationship. He's also very similar to me. He struggled to get where he is, doesn't take charity from others, would rather do it by himself. Plus, those silver eyes and wicked smile get me each time._

 _"_ _You can say yes and just see what he has to say", Madge shrugs and collects her bag and follows Jo out the door. Madge is right I could go and listen to him._

 _I turn and walk back into a relatively empty kitchen. "Okay, I'll get a beer with you", I say making him look up from his inventory sheet. He smiles, and it makes my heart melt and butterflies to flutter in my stomach. I try to tell myself its just a beer with a friend._

" _Everdeen, with the way you and I drink, its never just one beer", he chuckles and puts away the sheet._

 _"_ _Well tonight, I mean it", I say with as much conviction as possible. We walk over to the bar and order our drinks and starting talk. I was right in that he found me attractive and wants to make me to dinner, but drinks were easier to start with. I've downed my first beer by the time he's finished telling me why he likes me, why it'd be okay if I said no because of the work conflict, and that dinner he had planned for us would be amazing. I nod slowly contemplating another drink._

 _"_ _I know that I'm the sous and you're a food runner, but Katniss, I really like you and find your passion for wine and serving others admirable. Especially how you work so hard for your family. I really respect that, and if I'll be honest that turns me on the most", he says finishing his beer, "you doing whatever you can to help your mother and sister get along"._

 _"_ _You were right Hawthrone, it wouldn't be just one drink tonight", I say ignoring his comments about me. I order the next and he remains quiet. I don't know what game he is trying to play but I don't like it. Yet despite me knowing I shouldn't give in to my wild fantasies of him because the alcohol is setting in, I desperately want to kiss him and feel his body pressed up against me. I know that dating the sous chef could end me at Capitol Bistro so if we're going to do this, it has to be kept a secret. I receive my next drink before I answer him. "Okay, Gale. If this is going to happen, we don't tell anyone. We can't because I can't lose this job", I say quickly chugging my beer, as he nods his head._

 _"_ _Okay, Katniss", he says as he sets his drink down and pulls me into the crowd of dancing bodies. I'm pressed up against him as he leads us in a fast-paced sway because that's all the room we have. The music is loud, there are bodies touching me and only thing I register is Gale's hands running up and down my body. There's not much room to turn but I do my best to remain against Gale, so I'm facing away from him. I know I'm not the best dancer but its not hard to move my hips against his groin to the beat of the song. He presses my back forward and I oblige as I try to mimic what I've seen other girls do before. A few moments later he pulls me back up and spins me around. He leans down toward my face and I have to stretch up on my toes to lean in for what I think is a kiss._

 _"_ _Not so fast, Everdeen", he whispers, "You may know how to turn me on and make me want to fuck you right here in this bar, but I do want to make dinner for you and treat you like you deserve"._

 _I nod in agreement and turn toward the bar to order another drink, but I'm stopped by Gale's hands. He quickly turns me around and before I can register what he's doing, his lips are on mine. I taste the hops from his beer and feel his hands stay right on my hips not moving anywhere. The kiss is short but leaves me in a daze and only wanting more from Gale._

In this moment, I wish I could go back to that night and have said no to Gale, that being friends was the best option for us. It would make everything easier now. If we're to ever break up, I'd lose two people: my boyfriend and my best friend.

It didn't help that we went home together that night and had drunken sex. I don't regret fucking him that night, but I do regret the morning after, staying around, letting him make me breakfast and treating me like I was his queen. I was 22 and stupid about love but he drew me in with eyes and his cooking has kept me around. Well there are other things, but I would have never pictured Gale to be the person to punch someone to the point they're knocked out.

"You can't just punch him, Gale!", I hiss at him while trying to reach for Peeta. After Gale punched him, he hit the ground hard.

"You just told me you wanted to punch him about the proposal!", Gale screams back at me.

"Not out here", I hiss trying to keep quiet not wanting to disturb the few other residents on this floor. We've been very lucky to not have been caught yet with our living situation. Gale was never in the public eye except for when I said I "broke up with some guy" for Peeta but he quickly faded from the lime light.

Besides Haymitch, Peeta Cato, Finn, Jo, and Madge no one knows about me and Gale. Not even my boss, Darius, or Gale's previous chef, Thresh. He switched jobs two weeks before the Peeta fiasco, when I said I was quitting modeling, which would take me away from extreme media attention. But when Haymitch offered the deal I had to take it.

I bend over Peeta, as Gale stalks back into our apartment holding his hand. Everything was going fine up until now, I'd even say great. If Gale had punched Peeta a couple months ago, I'd brush it off, but this angers me more than it should. I hear a weak groan come from Peeta and try to turn him over. "Oh, God", I whisper as I run my fingers over his swelling left eye.

"Agh", Peeta groans again as he tries to open his eyes.

"Can you stand?", I ask him.

"I think so", he says, as he tries to stand while covering his eye with his hand.

"You know you deserved that, right?", I say while attempting to guide him into his apartment.

"Yea, yea, whatever", he says as I search for something for him to put on his eye. I find some frozen peas and give it to him. "Thanks", he says.

"Whatever", I say as I walk out the door, slamming it behind me. He infuriates me so much by doing so little. I don't know how I feel about this whole ordeal, but it upsets me that Peeta is in pain and try to remind myself on the short walk back to my apartment that I don't care.

I stalk back into my apartment to Gale pacing with a bag of ice on his hands. He's mumbling something under his breath as he walks back and forth in our small kitchen.

"Shit," I curse as I see its almost two and have to be at work in an hour. "Gale, please stop pacing. You walking around like that isn't going to solve anything", I say walking over to the bedroom, so I can get ready for work.

"Well, getting engaged to a dick isn't going to solve our relationship problems!", he screams from the kitchen. I ignore it though because he knew the conditions when I signed the contract. That fight was the worst we had had yet and thankfully there hasn't been a repeat of it.

 _"_ _You can't be serious Katniss", Gale says slamming down the contract._

 _"_ _I mean I get a bonus for signing it, a minimum salary, and for each couple shoot I book, I get a bonus for one how popular it gets and two how well received it is to the public," I say shyly because I know that last part will infuriate him._

 _"_ _I could be the other half in that shoot. I've started the new job, we can finally tell people that we're dating", he's starting to pace and running his finger through his hair._

 _"_ _His agent approached Haymitch. And besides he's more well-known than you are", I try to keep an even voice but I can feel the urge to scream at him. I really don't want to do it, but I really need the money._

 _"_ _But you said he was a jerk! How can you just accept this? You're dating me! You can't just do this", He's yelling now but has taken a seat at the bar._

 _"_ _You know why I need to say yes to this! You saw my mom last month! I can't keep paying her bills, while paying my bills and making sure Prim has enough to get through med school. It's not like we're even public for this to be a big deal! We can still date in secret. I made sure Haymitch included that because I wouldn't have agreed to it", I say, and his eyes go wide at yet another person knowing before we even tell our families. "I had to. I had to tell him because the contract before didn't include you because he didn't know. I don't think he would have even made the suggestion if he knew we were dating but here we are", I gesture to no one. He's stopped now with his hands on the counter. I try to reach for his hand but he pulls it away quickly. "If you want to break-up over this, I understand, I think. I won't be okay for a while, but I'll get on", I can feel my eyes prick with tears because I don't want this to end._

 _"_ _No, I don't want that. I just don't want to have to share you with some stuck-up baseball jerk that gets to hold your hand in public, kiss you whenever in public and be plastered all over magazines together. I want that", he says while slumping down into the bar stool._

 _"_ _Gale, I", I start but he cuts me off._

 _"_ _Do what you feel is best Katniss, but I don't want this to be the end either, so if you sign that contract, it better be with a part about me being your actual boyfriend", he says and looks like a lost puppy with his head in hands._

 _I really want to rip up the contract, but I know I can't. I reach out for his hand and say, "you know I have to accept it."_

 _"_ _I know", he says squeezing my hand. He then gets up and turns around to walks out the door._

I didn't hear from Gale for a week after that. I actually thought he went back on what he said about breaking up with me. He returned on my birthday with flowers, my favorite wine and bags of groceries for my favorite dish. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but this engagement is going to throw things with us throw a huge loop. The contract was supposed to end after six months, in conjunction with Careers season ending, but Haymitch and Cato thought it would be best to extend it for another six. There wasn't even a fight between us about it because Gale already knew the answer. I had to agree for my family and he again didn't talk to me for almost two weeks.

"I don't have time for this right now", I say as I finish getting ready. I examine the small red mark on my neck near my collar bone, which was covered by my jacket. I rub my finger over it remembering Peeta's lips on my neck.

 **"** **We're going to have to keep this charade up because that's a reporter", I whisper in his ear. I slide my hands down his back and plant them on his ass and give it a small squeeze. What the hell Katniss, you can't do that. Please Peeta do something, I pleasd for him to do anything. I feel his hands start to trace the sides of my body, slowly at first and then they pick up a rhythm when he finally leaves them on my ass making me gasp. Oh god, this is NO Katniss!, he's just trying to please the reporter, acting I remind myself. I'm just about over it when he moves my hair to the side and I naturally, and stupidly, give him access to my neck. He starts nibbling softly at the sensitive skin there and 'oh', and I let out a small moan. Katniss! You can't just moan like that. He continues nibbling softly unlike the rough attacks I get from Gale. My eyes fly wide open when I realize I complete forgot about Gale in the past few minutes and I pray were almost to the top to make this end. The reporter must have said something obscene because I only hear Peeta say "Oh? You want sexy?" and then I'm being pinned against the wall. The move surprises me but I'm furious with the position I'm in.**

The next thing I knew, his lips were on mine, and I had to try my hardest not to allow my knees to buckle at the building pleasure. I shake my head and move to look myself over in the mirror again. I guess the hickey is now my symbol of me officially being confused about Peeta Mellark and my feelings for him.

* * *

 **So timeline update:**

 **May 2012: Katniss (22yo)starts work at Capitol Bistro**

 **March 2013: Gale(25yo) and Katniss(22yo) start dating;**

 **January 2014: Katniss (23yo) starts modeling**

 **April/May 2016: Peeta (26yo) and Katniss (25/26yo) start "dating"**

 **Current is February 2017: Katniss (26yo), Peeta (27yo), Gale (29yo)**

 **I hope this clears things up for everyone on the time line! I'll add more dates in as needed but I think that covers it. The next chapter will still be in Katniss's perspective and again pick up right where we left off!**


	4. Out of the Woods

**AN: IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK LONGER THAN EXPECTED! This is still in Katniss's POV! I'm sorry for any spelling mistakes but this is my only day off until late next week and wanted to get this chapter to you! I'll be working on the next chapter periodically and I'll post it as soon as it good to go! :) more notes at the end!**

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Gale is already lounging on the couch, when I finish getting ready. He's watching some Netflix movie, with ice on one hand and a beer in the other. I wish I didn't have to work tonight to talk about what just happened with Peeta and me, but I can't call out now. "You better not finish the last episode of 'Stranger Things' without me!", I yell playfully as I head out the door. I think I hear a 'whatever' from him which upsets me because his normal reply to us finishing shows together is 'how dare you think so low of me?' with the most acted offended voice ever. I miss those days when that was what I had to worry about when I left the apartment. The last few months, however, when ever Gale has off work and I don't, I'm afraid I'll come back to an empty closet and a note that says he couldn't handle this anymore.

I'm waiting for the elevator when I hear another door open and close. Not thinking anything of it I continue to scroll through my timeline looking at the onslaught of reactions to the engagement. Most people are happy for us, some claim they hate me because they want to marry Peeta and few about how were faking it. I roll my eyes at all of them and silently laugh at the ones that claim we are faking it, because we are.

The elevator dings for its arrival and I step on without looking up from my phone. Someone gets on beside me, but I don't dare look up because more than likely its Peeta and I really don't want to talk to him. A few moments pass and the elevator dings again and I start to walk out but am forcibly yanked back by someone. "Hey!", I say turning and am greeted by a smiling Peeta with sunglasses.

"We're not at the bottom floor yet, sweetie", he says with his "someone who doesn't know is around voice". I roll my eyes and lean back into him playing the part again. The guy pays no attention to us and exits quickly on the ground floor.

"I don't want a repeat of earlier, so you are staying here for five minutes so I get a head start. Do you understand?", I say firmly because I already know there's going to be a few cameras outside.

"Yea, yea, wait five minutes so we aren't seen together", he says leaning back on to the wall of the elevator bay pulling out his phone.

"Good", I say turning on my heel and half walking, half sprinting to the exit to face whatever paparazzi are camped out. Thankfully there's only one that's across the entry sitting on a bench. Good, I can get to work without being followed, I think to myself. I hail a taxi and slip in. I pop my headphones in, praying tonight's service is easy.

I start to sort through my emails from work, inventory this, staff meeting that, just the normal stuff when I get a new notification from my direct supervisor, Darius, marked with a red flag and subject of IMPORTANT. Darius was promoted to Beverage Director almost a year ago when he passed his Master Sommelier course with flying colors. I aspire to be in the same position as him in a few years if I can make it past this stupid relationship thing without it ruining my career. There's only one line of text that says I need to report to him when I get to work. I don't like the email and how it reads but I have no time to contemplate it as the driver pulls up to the restaurant. I pay the fare and exit the taxi and am greeted by a swarm of paparazzi.

"Show us the ring!", is the only thing they seem to shout. "Aw, shit", I whisper to myself because I took the ring off to change and never put it back on because I normally don't wear jewelry to work. I shove my hands in my large coat pockets and try to shove my way past them all. Jo comes flying out of the restaurant to my rescue and helps shove the paparazzi out of the way.

"What the hell happened at that interview?", Jo askes once we get in the door and basically escorts me through the empty dining room to our lockers. She doesn't have social media and avoids any conversation of pop culture that she can so of course she wouldn't know what happened.

"Peeta proposed to me to convince Caesar we were the real deal", I say rolling my eyes and brushing her arms off me.

"I knew you'd accept his proposal! Ha! I knew you liked him and that you hating him was just a cover!" she says excitedly as Madge enters the locker room "Bitch, you owe me $20! She accepted his proposal!", she says jumping up and down. I can only look at her in utter shock.

"Oh, Katniss, I thought you would have denied it and would "break it off" or even reveal it was fake because you were in love with Gale. I'm so sorry", Madge says reaching over to give me a hug. I lean away from it because my shock of what Jo said has turned into fury.

"How could you think that Jo? How? I don't understand, I am in love with Gale and I do hate his guts. I do this whole "relationship" for the money to help my family. You know that", I practically yell at her.

"Woah there calm your fire breathing there, girl. All I'm saying is when you hang out with Gale around us you never look as in love with him as you do "pretending" with Peeta", she says defensively putting her hands up in defeat. I lunge for Jo but by some miracle Madge grabs my arm and holds me back.

"Agh, Madge, let go!", I scream back at her and all she does is shake her head. I turn my head back toward Jo ready to chew her out about her opinion on my relationship with Gale but she's already half way out the door. "God damn it, Madge. I wasn't going to hit her. I just wanted in her face", I tell Madge and she lets her death grip on my arm go.

"I'd say I'm sorry, but you need your hand for opening wine bottles tonight", she says as if she didn't just do anything wrong. "You also need to go see Darius,", she says turning toward the mirror to fix her hair, "He's pretty angry right now and I guess the proposal explains the outburst he had an hour ago and the swarm of paparazzi out there", she says casually.

"Wait, Darius had an outburst? What did he say?" I question her as I attempt to re-tie my tie.

"Oh, nothing towards you, at least I don't think because one of the new servers, dropped a huge try of glasses in the dinning room and he was screaming about how he should know better already, that he better shape up so he didn't have to hire more people, yada yada yada, nothing too wild", she says casually touching up her make-up.

"But Darius, usual gives servers two drops before scolding them like that. Are you sure he didn't say anything else?", I ask fearing the worst now because I know I could be fired for the abundance of paparazzi out there. Darius and I had a long talk about when the news broke about Peeta and I and being in the public eye. We had a conversation a few weeks before that about my modeling ending, to his delight, but the relationship would start it back up again. He didn't like it but also knew the relationship could bring a lot of attention to the restaurant just as the minor amount of modeling I did did. A majority of the attention has been good, with the increase in customers who wanted to see the girl who is dating the baseball star in action. The bad parts have been when paparazzi have been out front the restaurant.

"Nope, he slammed the door to the office after that and was there for awhile until I told him about the paparazzi being out front. He attempted to shoo them away with no luck. Oh wait, Darius doesn't know", Madge says putting the pieces together that I could be fired for this. When I left the studio this afternoon I didn't think the engagement would put my job in jeopardy like this.

"Well here goes nothing", I say exiting but Madge pulls me back in.

"Kat, you should tell him about you and Gale", her eyes are pleading with me.

"As I've done in the past ten months, I will do whatever I can to avoid having to tell another person about me and Gale until I have to tell them", I say and march out the door toward Darius's office.

Gale and I didn't have much of a choice to tell Madge and Jo when they walked in to my apartment unannounced to us fucking on the sofa. That was about six months after we started dating and we were doing really well at keeping it a secret. Jo had a small dance party in front of us, when Madge had to pay up $20 for us secretly fucking. When we told them, it wasn't just us fooling around, Jo had to hand back the $20 to Madge, who had the biggest smirk on her face. I had never been more embarrassed than that night, but I was happy to at least have people to talk to about Gale.

I stop in my tracks at the realization of Gale not having anyone to talk about us to anyone besides Jo and Madge for the past four years, and I know for sure he doesn't get along well with Jo. I want to do so many things to correct these past ten months of hell for him and me telling Darius might be the first correction because as far as I know, he's one of Gale's best friends from Capitol Bistro. Before I know where I am, I'm out back of the restaurant, where most chefs take their smoke breaks. I have fifteen minutes before I actually have to clock in, so I find a chair to sit on to think about what I'm going to tell Darius.

I stare at the building across from me and am able to think uninterrupted for five minutes when the door swings open. Its Darius and he surprisingly looks calm.

"Ah, there you are. Madge told me she thought she saw you walk out here", he says taking the seat next to me. He's quiet for a moment, which allows me to scramble to put what I'm going to say to him together. As I see it I have three options. The first, which I think is the stupidest, I tell him about Gale and me, that I'm only dating Peeta for money, but I would break up with him because I can't take it anymore and hope to continue to work here. The second, which is financially best, I tell him about Gale and me, that I'm only dating Peeta for money and attempt to save my job here. The third option is to let Darius do what he wants, which is most likely fire me and continue to be "engaged" to Peeta. I would then attempt to go back and apologize to Gale about everything.

"Katniss, as I see it I have three options with you. I didn't want to have to do this so soon, but the proposal to Peeta requires me to confront it", he says, and I nod to let him continue. "The first option is to let you keep working as a somm here because of the attention it brings to our restaurant, which doesn't really need it, but it helps". Okay I like this first option, but I know he understands, and knows that I also know, where this restaurant is financially and critically. "The second is for me to slowly pull your shifts, let you quit on your own and we report it as you want to find another opportunity", he says, his face becoming more solemn as he continues. "The third, the one I really don't want to present but I have to as a person who refuses to give special treatment, is to fire you, right here, right now. I would report it as you quitting to focus on you and Peeta, so it would ease the blow on us", he says as he leans back into his chair, and puts his hands to his temple, massage them. He hasn't once turned to face me which makes me believe that he doesn't want to have to do anything about this but has to because someone in corporate made him.

"Darius, I", I start but stop myself from confessing about Gale and me. I don't know what it is but him saying something about him thinking I would quit a job to focus on a relationship angers me. It makes me want to take that third option but tell him to report it as me quitting because the management is pig headed. I know he doesn't mean it because he knows how much I want to advance in this career path. "Oh, fuck it," he turns to me finally, "I'm not actually dating Peeta! I've been with Gale for almost four years now. Peeta and I signed a contract to date for six months to help save his baseball career and my modeling career, which got extended for another six. A proposal was never in the contract, I honestly don't know why I said yes because I could have said no and ended this whole stupid thing today", I say as hang my head to avoid eye contact with him.

"Katniss, you should have told me sooner, or better yet when this whole thing started! We wouldn't be in this situation right now of me having to give you options", he says to me, trying not to yell. He pauses for a moment and then says, "knowing that would have made believing these pictures were real a lot harder". He slides his phone in front of my face and it's a brief article of the interview with pictures from the past few months.

I read all the articles about Peeta and I but never look at the pictures because I was disgusted with myself. Seeing them now, however, makes me realize how no one questioned us. We looked like two people crazy in love with each other. I try to convince myself that was the act but each photo it gets harder. The proposal photo is the largest and the one that makes me want to vomit. I played the "so happy in love, I was just proposed to" look so well, I don't even recognize myself. Peeta doesn't even look like he had to try that hard for that smile, which makes me question all of his actions all along. A photo from outside the apartment and a photo from the elevator is on the next page. Just looking at the photos make me blush remembering those hands rubbing up and down my body, caressing my face, and burying his face in my neck making me moan. I try to shake the memories away as I slide the phone back to Darius, trying to hide my obvious embarrassment of the article and ask, "can I have tonight to think about what I want to do?" He nods and walk back inside, and I follow.

Walking back in, I realize I had a fourth option: not tell Darius about Gale, convince him to let me keep my job because I'm that in love with Peeta and then break up with Gale and try to out last the contract. Because I believe I can survive without Gale, but I don't think I could survive without work.

I can't believe I went from trying to save my relationship with Gale, to brushing it aside because if I'm honest with myself, I haven't exactly been the best girlfriend to him. He may treat me like a queen, and most likely better than Peeta ever could, I'm the one in the wrong. I never should have let this go on so long, but I did and have.

After completing all of my opening duties I've determined that after work, I'll talk to Gale how I feel about us. I have to break up with him otherwise I'm going to lose my mind, especially knowing that I've held him back from both being open about a relationship, marriage and dragging him through this "relationship" with Peeta. Hopefully, he feels the same way or possibly that he even brings it up to make it easier for me. I've also decided that I'll talk to Haymitch about trying to figure out a way out of the engagement, maybe claiming about how it was too quick to get engaged after less than a year of dating or something.

I try to lose myself in wine service but every now and then people question why I don't have my ring on. I tell them it needs to be resized and I didn't want to lose it at work. They believe me by some miracle even though I pulled it out of my ass. I'm opening a bottle of '06 Dom Perignon, the best imported sparkling wine we have on common stock, actual Champagne, when I hear a commotion at the front. I ease the cork out just as I see Gale stumble across the dining room, followed by a frantic Effie. I try to quickly finish the service but am not fast enough.

"Oh, there she is! My beautiful girlfriend!", he yells, slurring his words as he makes his way closer to me. I'm pretty sure half the restaurant is now looking our way and my table has the most confused look on their face. I had just finished explaining to them about the proposal and the ring and Gale's confession would, well, make everything I just said a lie.

"Catnip, babe, you look stunning by the way,", he reaches out to touch my shoulder and I look between him and his hand on me, his breath reeking of alcohol, when he continues, "I just came down here to say I love you and can't wait to see you later tonight", he slurs to me, as he leans in to kiss me.

"Gale", I'm unable to finish as his lips touch mine, and I realize I only have a moment to think. If I kiss him it's over with Peeta. But if I lean away, it will more than likely be over with Gale. I do what I think is best for Gale and pull away. He doesn't deserve someone like me especially the way I've put him through all of this. I know he could have left but I could have also said no.

His eyes fly open and he stands straight up. He blinks a few times, finally realizing what I just did and admitted to. "I'm so sorry, Gale", I whisper and turn on my heel and rush toward the wine cellar.

"Katniss!", I hear him yell after me, but I ignore it. I'm moving so fast that Jo and Darius go by in a blur. I run down the cellar stairs and crouch down by the imports. I can feel the tears pricking my eyes and I allow myself to cry, falling into a fetal position, as the effects of what I just did hit me. I realize after the tears have subside, that this is better, that I am free of anyone holding me back from doing what I want to do. Gale was good and treated me well, but being in two relationships at once was taxing and I now after to get out of another.

I hear a lot of footsteps going up and down the stairs, but no one bothers me, and I stay down in the cellar until it becomes unbearably cold. I look at my watch as I climb the stairs back up and see its just past close, so there will most likely still be guests in the dining room. I opt to sit on the top step, too ashamed of what went on tonight. Just as I'm sitting down, the door opens.

"How are you holding up?", Madge asks sitting next to me, gingerly rubbing her hand up and down mine.

It feels oddly comforting, and slightly suggestive. She places her hand on my knee, waiting for a response. We kissed one night, long ago, before Gale and I started dating, after a night of drinking and if Darius didn't walk in on us, it might have gone further. We chose to forget about it but it's hard to when she'll do things like this.

"I just broke up with my real boyfriend of almost four years, how do you think I am?", I bite back at her. I can feel another wave of tears forming but will them away. She's moving her hand now and if I wasn't so conflicted I would stop her, but its calming me.

"I know that's what you think, Katniss, but Gale dropped this on his way out, and I think you should return it to him", she says and hands me a velvet box.

Gale and I talked about marriage before everything happened, but I was addiment on not wanting to get married or having kids. It took him awhile to come to terms with it but finally agreed to grant my wish of just being together, forever. I kind of had a suspicion he might have already bought a ring but kept it a secret from me.

I open the box and to my shock, its not a ring. It's a heart necklace, with forever etched on the front and our initials etched on the back. "Well that wasn't what I was expecting", I say with a sigh of relief. In the midst of this craziness, Gale didn't forget that I didn't want to get married but be together forever.

"Oh, I thought that was going to be a ring. He's been talking about proposing to you for almost a year now", Madge admits and removes her hand from me.

"Yea, I know but this is what I would have wanted", I say standing. To myself I think Gale would still treat me better, but I can't give him what he wants. He wants a marriage and a family. I want a career and someone to come home to, to share our days story with, without being interrupted.

I walk into Darius's office, prepared to tell him I'm quitting and will being needing a letter of recommendation. I am, however, greeted by Haymitch, Cato, Peeta, and the president of the modeling agency, Cornelius Snow, who is sitting behind Darius's desk. As if this night couldn't get worse, I slam the door behind close.

* * *

 **AN: WOW! Not how I expected this chapter to go.. Next chapter picks up where we left Peeta! Until next time :)**


	5. Our Song

**AN: Peeta's POV picking up where Katniss left him in the lobby! More notes at the end :)**

* * *

I wait a respectable three minutes before exiting the building because the likelihood of her being already gone is high. I readjust my sunglasses and flinch as my swollen eye still throbs. "Fuck", I curse under my breath and make my way out to Finn's awaiting car.

"Dude, what's with the sunglasses? It's not even that sunny out. I'd even say mostly cloudy", Finn says as we pull into traffic. I take my sunglasses off and turn my head toward him and point to my eye. "Oh, fuck. Did Katniss finally get that fed up with you, she had to punch you in the eye?" he says trying to conceal a laugh.

"No, her boyfriend punched me. I guess he wasn't too pleased with my proposal to his girlfriend", I say sarcastically. I put my sunglasses back on because with how my day is going some paparazzi will see me in the car at a red light and snap a picture. I can already see the headlines: 'Peeta Mellark appears with a mysterious bruise around his eye! Did his new fiancé give it to him? More details at 7'.

"Can you even see out of that eye? What's going to be the explanation to the team doctor? Were we sparing, and I accidently hit you?", he questions, and I hadn't even thought of trying to cover it up.

"Well, shit, Finn. It's only been two hours since the interview and my picture was just taken without a black eye. When did we have time to spare? C'mon man, they know I'm clumsy everywhere but the outfield. I'll just say I walked into a door or something", I huff already over the topic.

"I'm just saying you should get it checked out before spring training to make sure nothings wrong with it. Can't have you injured before this season even starts!", he jokingly punches me in the arm.

"Agh, c'mon, man. I'm not exactly in a joking mood", I say sternly and turn the radio up as Finn merges onto the highway to head south toward the training facility. We don't speak again for the rest of the ride there. We arrive at the security gate and the guards nod their hellos and buzz us right in. A few other cars are in the lot. I recognize Gloss's car, and Coach Beetee's car with the rest probably being upper management or the training staff. Thom's car isn't in sight which is typical because he's usually late. Finn and I get about half way to the entrance when he stops me.

"No offense man, but what the hell is wrong with you?", Finn questions me. I'm a little taken aback by is abruptness of his question and his tone. I try to push past him, but he shoves me back.

"Um, what the fuck is wrong with you?" I ask him. "I don't feel like talking about this with you or anyone right now. I really just want to work off some anger and right now you're the only thing standing between me and a punching bag. So, for the love of God, move the fuck out of my way", I say trying not to yell at him. He's not that much taller than me but its irritating that in this moment, I have to look up to him to make eye contact.

"What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you! You're the one that two weeks ago wanted to break things off and break the contract apart when you heard you had to sit down with Caesar! And yet here you are engaged to a woman you don't even love! You don't even date for fuck's sake. I was going to ask you at the studio, but you seemed mad then but now you're absolutely furious!" he yells back in my face. I try to stand tall through it, but I really don't want to talk about it, so I let him continue. He takes a large breath in realizing its probably better I don't talk. "I saw the photos from outside your apartment building", he says scrolling through his phone.

"Yea, so? I had to put on an act", I say shrugging my shoulders. I successfully push past him and start sprinting for the door. He's then forced to turn to chase me into the building. If he really wants to talk about what he's about to, then outside isn't the best place. I slow down once I'm in the door to let Finn catch up.

"Peet, what the fuck man?", he says, almost out of breath. I roll my eyes because pitchers never have great stamina. He hands me his phone with an article about the engagement that was posted thirty minutes ago. I scroll through it briefly and hand the phone back.

"So? Just our engagement announcement with when the interview will air", I say shrugging my shoulders, unbothered by it.

"Did you look at the pictures though?", he questions and gives me his phone back. I never really look at the photos because it disgusts me that their taken with someone who isn't really my girlfriend. There's some photos from last year, and one from last month's "New Year, Same Us" shoot we were a part of. The proposal photo takes up the bottom of the page and I start laughing because we look so stupid both smiling at each other like that. To someone who didn't know it was fake, they probably would think we are actually in love. I'm about to hand the phone back but Finn says, 'next page' as he opens the locker room door.

And there they are. The photo from outside the apartment and the elevator photo. "Oh," I say under my breath. Both look like there from a shoot we did so Finn probably only thinks that the apartment photo is new. The photo from outside the apartment is when I dipped Katniss slightly, my left hand supporting her back and my right cradling her head. Her fingers gripping my shoulders to support, but is that a smile I see on her lips? This must have been one of the last photos taken because I had my tongue practically down her throat and there was no way she was smiling. I do remember pulling away from that kiss to her in a trance. "Shit", I curse under my breath, setting my bag down on the bench and take a seat next to it.

I'm afraid to look at the next photo because I bet its just as disgusting as this one. She's flush against the elevator wall, her cheeks slightly flush, most likely from me biting her neck, which makes me smirk remembering the moan that escaped her lips. I shake my head trying not to remember her make those sounds because they sounded so fucking good. Her hands rest gingerly on my shoulders and her one eye is staring up at me. I rested my hands on her waist and rested my head just briefly on her forehead before I kissed her.

"Mellark! Congratulations man!", Thom's voice echoes through the empty locker room. I look up from the phone, to Thom's open arms. "Oh, shit. Mellark your eye! Did Finn finally beat you?" Thom questions. "Wait, you guys just got here so you couldn't have had time for that" he says with confusion.

"I, uh, ran into my door earlier", I say trying my hardest to be convincing.

"Um, okay. Don't do that?" Thom says jokingly and shoves me playfully. I'm thankful he drops the subject even if his tone suggests he's not convinced. "Why didn't you tell me you were proposing today? I could have helped you write those words of lovvee", he says making an air heart with his fingers.

"Well, I didn't know either, until I was", I shrug, and he slaps me on the shoulder for good measure. I turn away from both Finn and Thom to change into my running shorts and I hear them chatting away about spring training houses and practice times. I try to ignore them, setting up my playlist for a good thirty-minute run around the track when Thom whacks me with his shirt. "Ah! What the fuck Thom", I say moving toward him. I have so much built up aggression currently, I have to restrain myself from punching him.

"I just was wondering if you were going to take Katniss to spring training. Its kind of a tradition for everyone to bring their significant other along. The girls normally all hang out together during the day doing what ever they want around the town", Thom says nonchalantly tying his shoe, unware of how close I've gotten to him. "It's okay if she doesn't want to, just thought I'd extend the offer since no one on the team has met her except for Finnick", he says standing up with a confused gaze as I continue to stare him down. "You okay there?", he asks.

"Yea. I'm fine", I say shaking my head as I struggle to cope with all of this. I'm slowly losing it and can't stand it. "And I don't think she'll want to join. She has work and shit. Besides she wouldn't want to "do whatever she wanted around town", I add the air quotes around the last part and surprise myself at making assumptions about Katniss. "Excuse me", I say pushing past him.

"The fuck was that about?", I hear Thom say to Finn as I make my way toward the track. I pop my head phones in and start playing 'Eye of the Tiger'. Feeling the beat course through my veins, I start off with a steady jog, knowing to save sprinting for the end. The first few laps are great as I lose myself in running, feet thumping on the ground and the music pumping in my ears. I temporarily forget about Katniss and the engagement until 'Does It Feel Like Falling' starts. I normally set my playlist up for just enough songs to go as long as I intend but I've shuffled into songs that I don't normally listen too because I was too focused on not thinking about her. I immediately stop running as flashbacks of Katniss and I's first kiss coming rushing back.

 _"_ _Do they always play shit music during shoots?", I say to Cato while popping a few grapes into my mouth, taking in the rooftop view._

 _"_ _I wouldn't say shit it's just that,", he says waving his hands dramatically as the song switches over to yet another slow country song, "they're just trying to set the mood". I roll my eyes. "You know you could have said no to this when she started giving demands. I would have figured something out", he says turning toward me with a look I can only assume means he's giving me an apology._

 _"_ _Yea, well most of the stuff I added for our story was real", I confess. Cato looks taken aback by my confession but there's no point in hiding my boyhood crush on the girl who basically broke my arm. "Her voice was very beautiful that day and I bet still is", I say lowering my voice. "I wanted to give her an apology when we first met for the contract about how I was a piece of shit after my arm being broken. She, however, doesn't want to do this other than help 'pay her bills'", I say crossing my arms trying not to think of why she would have to do this to her boyfriend just to 'pay bills'._

 _"_ _Oh, shit. Peeta, you should have said something before all of this. I feel like such a dumbass now. We could have easily gotten another girl", he says scrambling to pull his ringing phone out of his pocket._

 _I shrug and say, "It's whatever. I'm over it. Besides I couldn't lose my job", I say half laughing and rolling my eyes at him as he types furiously. He's so engrossed in whatever email he needs to send that I turn and walk towards the set waiting for Katniss to come out. I try to locate the director to ask him to change the music to something else because I refuse to do this stupid shoot with country playing. I guess I look lost because someone practically shoves me out of their way._

 _"_ _Someone get this fool out of here and call my stars! I can't wait to shoot Katniss and her new beau! So cute!", the man with the camera says dancing around the set. I'd be angry, but I see Katniss emerge on to the roof in a flowy sun dress, that flairs at her hips and stops just before her knees. The best way to describe the dress's color is ombre sunset and I'm pretty sure I look like an even bigger idiot as I feel my jaw drop. She's struggling to walk because someone put her in five-inch heels._

 _I was instructed by Cato to embrace Katniss while in public together, so I snap my jaw shut and make my way over to where she's standing trying to straighten out her dress. "Kat, babe! You look absolutely stunning", I say as I lean in for a hug with her glaring at me. "But have you been drinking without me because you can't fucking walk in those heels", I whisper in her ear and she tightens her hold on me. I try to keep my hands in a respectable place because I refuse to be that guy._

 _Before pulling away, making this hug uncomfortable long for me, she whispers "You're fucking right, I've been drinking. How else would I get through my first shoot with my fake boyfriend when I really wish my real boyfriend was here". She pulls back smirking. I'm stunned into silence as she takes my hand and pulls me back toward the director's chair._

 _She drops my hand and hugs the director tightly. "Oh, Flavius! This set is gorgeous!", she practically screams, and I stare at her confused because I would never take Katniss as the one to be overly excited at this type of thing. Maybe its just another act._

 _"_ _Oh, I'm so glad you like it!", he says letting go of Katniss. There's not much of "set" per se but the environment is breath taking. Were up on the tallest building in the Capitol, over looking the entire city. Furniture and plants are set up on the west side of the building, which I'm assuming is to catch the sunset at the perfect moment. There's bottles of champagne chilling in an ice bucket to the side of the couch, which I can only assume we're going to be opening during the shoot. My eyes are then taken to the mountains that are now completely visible as the clouds pass them. Their purple hue and the majesty of them really was just on of the factors to make take the trade to the Captiol and I one day plan to paint them if I ever have enough time. Maybe this off season._

 _Katniss's voice pulls me out of my trance. "Flavius, this is Peeta. My boyfriend", her last words are slightly strained. I can tell she doesn't want to say it, admit it, but has to._

 _I extend my hand out to him which he promptly pulls me into a hug. "I, uh,", I struggle for words and turn my eyes toward Katniss, who gives me the look of 'I'm not helping you'._

 _"_ _Oh, Peeta! I've heard so much about you! Or should I say read! You're such a good baseball hitter!", he says spinning away from me, oblivious to our encounter earlier._

 _"_ _Player", I try to correct him but he's walking away back toward the set. "Well, okay then", I say to myself. "Now what?", I ask Katniss, but she just rolls her eyes at me and half walks half stumbles toward the set. "Seriously?", I question under my breath and try to catch up to her and Flavius._

 _"_ _Flavius? You know I can't shoot to country. Can we switch over to my playlist? Pleaseee", Katniss pleads doing her best puppy eyes to him._

 _"_ _Why of course! Anything for my favorite star!", Flavius says and waves his hand and the music changes from slow country to an up beat club mix._

 _"_ _Oh thank fuck", I say under my breath. Katniss eyes me weirdly but proceeds onto the set and sits down lazily onto the couch._

 _"_ _Yes! Perfect!", Flavius yells as his camera clicks shut repeatedly._

 _'_ _Seriously?' I think to myself. She didn't even do anything. She changes poses a few times and Flavius continues his praises. Cato joins me with a shot glass filled with amber liquor in his hand._

 _"_ _Take it. It'll make this easier", he says extends the shot toward me. I throw it back and wipe my mouth clean. Katniss's agent comes up beside me with a flask and a mug and promptly pours half of the contents of the flask into the mug._

 _"_ _Just a shot isn't going to make this easier. Bring a flask next time", Haymitch says slightly slurring his words, taking a hefty sip._

 _"_ _Thanks, I'll try to remember for next time", I grumble back to him waiting for Flavius to instruct me where to go. Two songs go by and all Katniss has done is switch between sitting and standing. I roll my eyes as she goes and sits again. Flavius then turns toward me and pushes me onto the set. I start walking toward Katniss and look back at Cato for confirmation and he already has two thumbs up smiling. I turn back toward her and catch her rolling her eyes._

 _I stop at the couch and have no idea what to do so I just stare at her as she stares up at me. I here camera shutters and as my mind goes blank, I think I hear Flavius yell something._

 _"_ _He wants you to touch me", Katniss grumbles reaching for my hand pulling my down onto the couch. She leans toward my ear and whispers, "Stop looking like an idiot and play the part. We have to make this look convincing"._

 _"_ _Convincing, you say?" I whisper into her ear as I place my hand just under the edge of her skirt. I feel her tense and making me smirk uncontrollably. I lean in and place my forehead on hers and close my eyes. 'I can play this part', I say in my mind over and over again. Flavius is still yelling, and I'm lost in my own thoughts when Katniss places a hand on my thigh and the other on my cheek. 'Oh', I breathe out. In the moments leading up to this I forget I'll actually have to kiss Katniss during this shoot. Before she can lean in the song changes again allowing me to pull away from her and stand up, pulling Katniss with me. She gives me a confused look because I'm trying to prolong the kiss for as long as possible._

 _I start jumping around to the music as if I were in a club "C'mon Kat! I know you can dance with me", I say to her and she complies. We probably look like idiots doing this, but Flavius approves. We briefly touch each other every now and then, nothing crazy. I collapse back on the couch after the song is over with my eyes closed, breathing heavily. That's when I hear a cork pop and am being doused in wine. Katniss is standing over me with a smirk on her face and two bottles in her hand. She hands the other one to me to pop open. Finally, a song I recognize starts playing, 'Does it feel like falling'._

 _"_ _Okay! Now Katniss, on the other side! Peeta, open the bottle but don't hit her in the face!", Flavius yells and we comply. I've open a few bottles of champagne before but never really cared where the cork went. I aim to the left of Katniss's face and feel the cork fly away. The cork misses her but the champagne bubbles hit her. Thankfully, her reaction looks playful._

 _I don't know what draws me to her, her smile, even though I know it's fake, or that I'm finally around her, the girl I heard sing all those years ago. She turns around to pick up her bottle and I walk toward her wrapping my arms around her, forcing her to turn around in my tight embrace. I slowly lean in and kiss her softly. This is our first kiss and thankfully she's reacting kindly to it. I however am overreacting to it and have to pull away quickly. Her lips are so soft, her dress too perfect, and her body feels so right under my hands._

 _She looks dazed but then quickly annoyed as Flavius's voice cuts through the silence. "Cut! Perfect!"_

 _"_ _Thank God", I hear Katniss sigh under her breathe. I watch as she half stumbles away and all I can think is how good her lips tasted, how her body reacted to mine, how I want her but she can't be mine._

The memory grinds all my will to workout to a halt as I remember the first kiss. It all happened in a blur and the rest of the summer made that kiss disappear. With each kiss now, the want grows deeper and if I don't do something about it, I'm bound to be hurt by my feelings for Katniss.

* * *

 **AN: Is Peeta finally coming to terms about how his feelings will effect him and his relationship with Katniss? I'll try to get the next chapter up as soon as possible, meaning if work doesn't get in the way! :)**


	6. Stay, Stay, Stay

**AN: I'm back with an update pretty quickly? Yep! A few days off from work makes writing pretty easy :) I meant to mention that the story would pick up immediately where we left Peeta and continue with his POV. More notes at the end!**

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I don't know how long I sit for, but I see Finn enter onto the track with a worried look. "Oh, thank God", he says approaching me. "I thought you got hurt and couldn't move. You okay?", he asks sitting next to me.

"No", is all I say, turning my face away from me.

"May I ask why?", he asks. I know he's trying to be a good friend, but I don't know how much I want to talk about me realizing how much I really like Katniss.

"Katniss", is all I say again not really wanting to form sentences.

"Well, did you want to go punch out some anger? I'm ready to spar if you want", he says ready to stand but I remain where I am.

"I'm not angry", I say trying to get him to leave but he leans back into the wall and remains silent. The silence starts to slowly eat away at me because I need to tell someone. "Okay, fine. I'll talk", I say turning myself toward him. "I know you know about the story of Katniss and I, the broken arm etcetera", I begin, and Finn nods his remembrance. "Well, the whole story is true. I heard her singing that day and I swear the birds stopped to listen. I knew right then I was a goner because I had heard my father talk about the girl that got away from him for a guy that could sing and make the birds listen. I really wish the rest of our school years together went differently but they didn't. When this whole thing started, the few moments before I knew about Gale, I made a promise to make it up to her. To tell her how I felt about her from all those years ago. But she never gave me the chance to say anything about it. This whole fake relationship is so difficult to make sense of when Katniss is actually being herself and when she's faking it. Especially these past few months.

I haven't touched, kissed, hugged, fucked another woman since last May. And its killing me because the one woman I want to touch, and kiss is always standing right in front of me. It's so frustrating and aggravating to have the girl you have practically loved since you were six be right in front of you, just out of your grasp, unable to tell her how you feel every single night before you fall asleep together. I actually think I'm in love with her. I've fallen completely in love with a girl that isn't even mine", I finish with a huff unable to continue because I don't know what to say.

Finn is silent for a long time before he says, "Well, to be honest I didn't really believe you in October because you were drunk and just needed to tell someone you were in a fake relationship. Now however hearing you say that convinces me that you like her. But to the point of love? I don't know Peet. You're gonna have to find that out for yourself when you talk to Katniss about this. If you let this go on any longer one or both of you is gonna be hurt. I think I already know you will be if she doesn't return the feelings".

I nod in agreement with him. "Okay, I have to end this then. I have to end my fake relationship with Katniss", I say leaning my back against the wall and start massaging the sides of my head with my fingers. "But if I do that, then I might never be able to talk to her again. I guess, I have to tell her before hand and then break it off, right?" I ask him.

"Don't ask me! I've never been a fake relationship, so I don't know how to deal with them when one of the people involved "falls in love" with the other", he says putting air quotes around falls in love. "But I do know that you shouldn't be in a relationship that the feelings aren't mutual. You gotta talk to her first, Peet".

"I guess you're right", I say standing and I start to jog toward the exit door of the track.

"Where are you going?" he yells after me. I slow down to let him catch up.

"To tell Heavensbee about the situation. I can't let the news break about the engagement, and then break off the engagement and make a fool of myself without letting him know first", I say turning to head to the front offices.

"Okay, good idea", Finn agrees, and he leaves me turning to head back towards the practice area. I try my best to not run to the front offices because I believe the business day might be over. I look at my watch and realize I made it just in time, so I barge right in.

"May I speak to Mr. Heavensbee?" I ask, the secretary, who is packing up her bag.

"Oh, yes! Peeta go right in", she says oblivious to my eye, probably because I've come in with worse brusies after workouts and presses the button to open the door. "And congratulations!", I hear her yell as I close the doors behind me. I roll my eyes as I approach Plutarch's desk. He's reading something intently on his computer and I hover over a chair until he realizes I'm here.

"Peeta, congratulations on the engagement. Well at least, I think. Are you and Katniss now officially dating? The engagement was never in the contract so I'm just curious. I read the article and saw the pictures. Seems pretty real", he says continuing to read on his computer. I'm stunned as I didn't realize he knew. "And now I have you wondering, how I knew. Cato contacted me to get approval of the whole thing! I thought it was great publicity. Although he never told me why this was happening. Would you care to fill me in on the why, Peeta?", he says finally turning toward, gesturing for me to take a seat and finally folding his hands on the desk. I can tell he staring at my eye but refrains from any questions about it.

"Ah, I, well, I was caught sleeping with someone I wasn't supposed to", I say turning my head away from him embarrassed. "Cato set the whole thing up. But it's gotten out of control now because I've always liked Katniss, but now I think I'm falling for her and I have to get out of it", I say shaking my head.

"Well then why propose?", he questions.

"I, well, needed to convince Caesar how much we loved each other so we weren't outed by him for being a fake couple. I really didn't mean to, but I knew Cato had a ring as a fail-safe and well I used it to get out of the situation. Which looking back on it was probably the worst thing to do. I probably could have just said, 'when the time is right, and the sun just perfect, I'll confess my absolute love for this woman on one knee, alone, in front of mountains and give her the ring of her dreams, which wouldn't be a ring at all because she doesn't want marriage she just wants an always'", I confess to Plutarch with a huff and slide back into my chair. I only know this from over hearing a conversation she had with Madge and Joanna about it at a bar when we first started "dating". "But since I proposed I can't stop thinking about how much I actually like her and want to be with her and not put on an act. I need to stop this whole charade, but the proposal could ruin everything for me", I say placing my hands over my face in embarrassment over the situation. I don't know why I said everything to him, but Plutarch was very accommodating for my move to The Capitol and he's the one that signs my paychecks, so I might as well tell him the truth.

"It sounds like I'm not the one you should be talking to", he says returning his attention to his computer. "I would go talk to Cato and if you truly want out, your spot is still safe here if you have to reveal the scam. We need you Peeta in the outfield this year", he says, and I stand to leave.

"See you at spring training", I say as I exit. I make my way back down to the locker room to shower and change. Finn is not back from his throwing session, so I decided to call Cato and tell him what I've decided.

He thankfully picks up on the first ring. "Hey, what's up?", he says slightly stressed.

"This can wait if this is a bad time", I say, silently praying it's an okay time.

"Yea, yea sorry just controlling the press over the engagement. You really put the media through a loop it", he says chuckling. His voice sounds a little distant, but I continue anyway

"I, uh, well, um", I start but can't seem to finish a sentence.

"Ha, out with it Mellark", he says chuckling more. I'm nervous he's really going to hate me for this, but it needs to happen.

"I need to end this contract with Katniss. I can't do it anymore", I spit out. Cato is quiet for a moment, I'm assuming to process what I just told him.

"May I ask why", he questions sternly.

"Well to put it simply, I can't be with someone who doesn't want me the same way I do anymore", I say sitting on a bench, running a hand through my damp hair.

"Yea, well, this isn't good", he says nervously.

"Why?", I question him.

"You're on speaker with the president of the agency", he says. I hang up quickly unable to answer to the president of the agency now knowing I'm going to break up with Katniss and the whole thing was fake. I know the agency frowns upon what Katniss and I did but we did it anyway. I learned this during my meeting with President Snow. He was a big fan of ours. He thought we were the cutest couple to come out of the 12 and he was very excited to have two stars like us under his agency. I can't even imagine the fury he's going to rain down on us.

I'm still looking down at my phone watching as the onslaught of texts come in from Cato, when I hear a locker door shut. "I knew it", Thom says approaching me. I was so engrossed with my conversation with Cato I didn't even hear Thom come in. "I knew you two were faking it! There was no way this whole story of you practically falling for her in kindergarten was real", he says sitting next to me.

I'm mad at myself now for letting slip that this whole thing was fake. Or is fake, I guess, since I haven't broken it off quite yet. "And what are you going to do about it?", I say looking at the ground avoiding having to make eye contact with him.

"Well, first off," he starts and swings his arm around me "we're gonna go celebrate you being single because why the fuck not, plus the alcohol will make you forget this whole thing. Second, I'll have Delly set you up with one of her friends. What's your type? Similar to Katniss or completely opposite", he asks.

"Katniss is my type", I half mumble still not making eye contact.

"Okay, I'll tell Delly to set you up with someone like her", he says confidently standing up. His answer angers me because I don't want anyone other than Katniss.

"I don't think you understood", I say standing along side of him. I have to control myself again not to punch him at the mention of another girl. "My type is Katniss. As in Katniss Everdeen herself. Not some girl that has long dark hair that when let down comes down in waves, silver eyes that glimmer in the right light, olive skin that's so smooth and delicate under my hands, and who is so stubborn and ridiculous when it comes to wine or anything really, not only bugs the shit out of me but shows how intelligent she is and just wants to share what she knows. So, no, Thom, please don't set me up with one of Delly's friends", I say sitting back down checking my phone again to see even more messages and missed calls from Cato.

"Well, shit, Peet. I don't understand then", he says looking at me confused. "So, you're in a fake relationship"

"Yep", I say.

"But you like her", he continues.

"Correct"

"Does she like you?

"I don't know. She has a boyfriend"

"She has a boyfriend?

"Yes"

"Then why the fake relationship"

"I was caught fucking a prostitute and she needed a boost to her career or some shit like that"

"You were caught fucking a prostitute? That's what put you in this situation?"

"Yea"

"That's fucked up. So, what are you going to do about it?"

"Well, I need to talk to Katniss first and then no matter what break the contract up because it's absolutely ridiculous and its slowly killing me being around her."

"Solid plan", he says as Finn returns to the locker room.

"You guys good?", he asks looking between both of us.

"Yea, um, fine", Thom says trying to avoid a subject Finn already knows about.

"Finn knows, for about four months now", I say looking away from both of them, over the conversation and not wanting to talk about what happened in October.

"Finn knows? How'd he find out?", Thom says, again confused.

"I drunkenly told him I was in a fake relationship in October after we lost in District 2", I say.

"Oh, well, I, uh", Thom starts and stops again and again but can't formulate sentences. "I don't know what to say, man."

"Yea, well its about to be over so don't tell anyone, okay?" I ask him just to make sure this doesn't get spread any further than it has already.

"Yea, yea okay man", Thom says slapping on my shoulder. "Will I be seeing you next weekend?", he says grabbing his bag, obviously ready to get out of here.

"Yea, actually I'll be going down on Sunday, so you'll see me this weekend", I say excitedly because I'll be able to think about nothing but baseball for a month and a half.

"Oh, great! We'll get beers then", he says walking out the door.

Finn reappears from the showers and tells me he'll only be a few minutes and we'll be on our way back into the city. Our car ride back is silent and I'm thankful that Finn doesn't bring up anything that happened in the last six hours. We stop at our usual bar the Hob, for some beers and a burger when I decide I should actually check my messages.

Most of them say 'Call me now!' from Cato and I continue to ignore them for the duration of our meal. We mostly talk about trades and spring training until he receives a text from Annie asking when he'll be home which is our cue to leave. Annie and Finn have been dating for years and he says she's the only girl that he's ever wanted to sleep with again and again and again. I know there's more to their relationship but seeing them together every now and then is so pure and innocent and I want that with Katniss. I shake the thought away as I receive another text message from Cato. I haven't gotten one in almost an hour, so I decided to check it out of curiosity.

 **CATO: GET YOUR ASS DOWN TO CAPITOL BISTRO NOW!**

"Uh, Finn? Can you drop me off at Capitol Bistro?", I ask, and he obliges without asking. When we arrive, I wait in the car an extra moment before exiting.

"Everything alright dude?", he asks.

"I honestly don't know", I say trying to work up the courage to get out of the car.

"Need me to come in with you?" he asks, trying to be nice but I can tell he wants to get back to Annie.

"Nah, I think I'm good", I say exiting the car on to the empty sidewalk. I take a deep breathe before I enter the dining room. A frantic looking Effie greets me, and I can feel that something is wrong. "Hey, Effie. Is Cato here?" I ask.

"Yes! He's here in the back! But he said you needed to go in through the back not to been seen by guests!", she says and leads me back out the door. "Go around the corner then your next left and then go in the door that says, 'Cap Bistro' and you'll be in the kitchen! Hurry, hurry! We can't have any one spotting you!", she says and scurs me along. I'm confused as ever at her tone, which is strange and frantic.

I follow her instructions and land in the kitchen. I've never been back here and do a 360 to try to figure out where to go.

"Ah, there you are", Cato says rushing towards me. "We're in here", he gestures toward a room that looks like an office.

"Who is we?", I ask but before Cato can answer I see that "we" means Haymitch, Katniss's boss Darius and President Snow. "Well, shit. Is this because of what I said earlier? Because I don't think they need to be here", I say and point toward Haymitch and Darius.

"Nope, not because of what you said", Haymitch says sipping on his mug. "Gale made a scene earlier".

"Oh", I say unable to formulate sentences. I take a seat next to Haymitch, looking between him, President Snow and Cato.

"I have guests to attend to and I'll send Katniss in here when she emerges", Darius says exiting the small office, closing the door behind him.

There's a long awkward silence that makes my skin itch. Everyone is looking at their phones while all I can do is look between everyone. "Okay, will someone tell me what the fuck happened with Gale?", I demand to no one in particular.

"Gale came in drunk, wanted to kiss Katniss, she leaned away, ran away to the cellar, Gale dropped a ring box on his way out, Katniss hasn't emerged, and no one wants to bother her", Haymitch says never looking up from his phone. "But I hear what ever happened out there doesn't matter because you want to break this contract off anyway", he finishes trying to make eye contact with me

"He what?", I ask as calmly as possible trying to ignore what he just said about the contract.

"Gale made a scene, which could have just ruined your whole charade in thirty seconds! Thankfully, Darius had the brilliant idea to quickly go around the restaurant and confiscate all the videos and photos of the incident in exchange for a half price bottle of wine! How perfect!", President Snow starts, his voice raising with each sentence. "This whole agency could go down because of the stunt you all just pulled! At what cost? Peeta never needed this attention! He's a god damn great baseball player!", he's standing now with both hands on the table raining down his fury on all of us in the room. This is more than I expected from him earlier and its absolutely terrifying. "Cato how could you do this to him? If I understand this situation correctly, you two," he says pointing between Cato and Haymitch, "set this whole thing up over drinks to "save" your clients careers.

"Katniss never even wanted to continue modeling! Why did you drag her into this Haymitch! And Cato, why didn't you look to see if they knew each other? Another step to make sure this could have been stopped before it even happened", he finishes with a huff and sits back down. He places his hand over his face swiveling away from all of us.

Both Haymitch and Cato have stopped looking at their phones and are staring off into space. The silence is getting to me again and I have get up. The office is small, but I start pacing back and forth. "Peeta, please sit down, you're annoying me with your pacing", Cato says after I've paced back and forth for five minutes or so.

I almost snap at him because I can't stop pacing, pacing occupies me. Katniss isn't emerging from the cellar and I would really like to talk to her but know better to leave her alone. I take a seat again and pull out my phone to distract myself.

I don't know how much time passes by but the next thing I know I'm awoken by the door flying open and Katniss walking through and slamming it shut.

"Oh, I, uh," Katniss stumbles on her words realizing who's in here.

"Sweetheart, finally come in, so we can finally discuss what happened", Haymitch says standing offering her his seat.

"Oh, fuck off Haymitch", she mumbles under her breath while taking his seat.

"I already yelled at Haymitch and Cato for the obscene act of a relationship between you two", President Snow says, addressing us both. "Now since both of you are here, I can speak to both of you. Katniss, if I remember correctly the contract states that Gale and you can't be seen in public as a couple what so ever. Please explain to me why that happened", he questions her.

"I, uh, well, he came in drunk", she starts but is cut off by him.

"I didn't ask for the story, I asked why", he says firmly.

"He never approved of the situation and the engagement, I guess, was the tipping point", she says back to him. "I had no control over his choice to get drunk and come into the restaurant, but I just, I," she's stumbling over her words again, I think it's cute that she doesn't have the words together right now. Oh god, what did I just think. I shake my head to rid myself of the thoughts. "I should have never accepted the contract in the first place! This whole thing is ridiculous, the fakeness, the payment, the person this is with", she stops her herself from saying anything else.

"The person? You can't even say my name? Is that how little you think of me?", I question her as the choice of words finally settle on her. "You know what Katniss, before I knew about this whole Gale situation, I was completely open to getting to know you. But after you denied shaking my hand that day nine months ago, I only agreed to this because Cato didn't give me an out", I say trying to keep my voice under control and trying not to venture into topics I only want her to hear. "I'm done. I can't deal with this anymore", I say trying to stand from my seat to leave, I'm however stopped by hand on my shoulder that's pushing me down. I look up and see the stern face of Haymitch. I don't try to move again.

"Thank you, Haymitch", President Snow says before continuing. "Peeta, Cato has informed me that you slept with a prostitute to start this whole thing off, and then again when "you became desperate" in October. You're a great baseball player, but not so great of a judgement call person. Disgusting. No wonder Cato made this contract for you! You need to control yourself if you break this off for the reasons you want to", he says nonchantaly. I want to correct him about the second prostitiute but can't bring myself to do so. Katniss whips her head at me at Snow revealing I wanted to end this before this meeting happened. I start squirming in my seat trying not to avoid having to answer her awaiting question.

"And why exactly did you want to end this before tonight?", she questions me. I'm not looking at her, but I can feel her eyes beating down on me.

"There's too many people here for what I want to talk about", I say quietly.

"What? Don't mumble you idiot", she says to me. I can hear her fury building in her voice at me not responding to her probably.

"I said, not here", I yell back to her whipping my head toward her. That shuts her up and I can even see her body recoil into the seat. I would be mad at myself for making her feel small but her not saying my name bothers me more than it should.

"I'm not ripping this contract up now but you two need to figure out what is going on between you two. And Katniss you need to give back that ring box to Gale and tell him what you're doing with the contract", President Snow says standing up. "Now, we'll leave you two to discuss what's going to happen". Cato and Haymitch walk out behind Snow, leaving Katniss and I in the room alone. We haven't been alone together like this in, well I don't think we've been alone together other than car rides back to our apartment complex.

We're silent for a few moments before she huffs loudly crossing her arms. "What did Snow mean when he said you wanted to break this off before the Gale situation", she says staring forward.

"I, uh, well", I start but can't finish.

"Speak the fuck up Peeta, because I have to talk to Gale. And if we leave this room without a decision about the contract then Snow's gonna drop us both", she says sternly.

"We're breaking off this contract then", I stand and start toward the door not looking back.

Before I can open the door, Katniss yells, "sit the fuck down because that isn't a good enough explanation".

I stop in my tracks with my hand on the door handle. I so badly want to walk out but ask "do you really want to hear what I have to say about you?" She hesitates slightly, taken aback by my question.

I take her response as a no and open the door and am halfway out when I hear, "I, yes. Peeta, I do want to hear what you have to say", from Katniss. I stop dead in my tracks and only have a second to think. If I turn back I can tell her how I feel with her possibly still confused about Gale. But if I keep walking, the contract is broken, and I may never see Katniss again. Against my better judgement, I turn back into the office and slam the door shut.

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 **AN: Oh boy, here we go! This chapter kept evolving as I wrote it and honestly didn't end where I thought it was. I made the choice to continue because I want the next part in Katniss's POV. I'll be working on the next few chapter in the coming days and hope to have it up as soon as possible! :)**


	7. Treacherous

**AN: Sooooo confession: I had to go back and edit this story a little because well I forget things easily and if i didn't go back then this story would not make sense soooooo go back and find those changes! Or don't and you'll find them in this chapter...I have another chapter almost ready to go but I need to edit it and such so it could be awhile until its up. More notes at the end! Katniss (POV)**

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I'm actually surprised he closed the door and returned to his seat because I thought that was it. I thought that was the last time I was going to see Peeta Mellark. "I, uh", he starts and stops a few times, most likely from shock of me actually wanting to hear him out about this.

"Peeta, please. Just say what you need to", I say and instantly regret it as he snaps back at me.

"What? So you can go talk to Gale about the ring box that he left you? Are you actually going to accept his proposal?", he spits back at me in disgust.

"Well, actually its", I start but he cuts me off.

"What? An engagement necklace? Because I doubt that. You don't want to get married", he says turning away from me.

"How'd you know that? We never talked about that?" I question him because I don't know when he would have heard me talking about marrying Gale. I scramble through the previous nine months of conversations trying to remember when I would have mentioned it.

"You were talking about it one of the first few nights at a random club with Madge and Joanna "in private" but your drunk self wasn't being too discreet", he says crossing his arms in a huff. "You said, you had a really big fight about "it" but he was finally coming to terms about "it" and that he'd accepted how you felt about "it". I could only assume "it" was marriage" he says lowering his voice.

"That was, uh", I stop myself as I realize the fight he thinks I was referring to was about marriage but was really about him.

"That was what? Not what I thought? Hm? If we're gonna talk you gotta be honest with me", he spits back at me.

"You're going to need to calm down because I can't talk to you like that", I say slipping back into my chair. Peeta slowly relaxes back into his. "Alright, that fight with Gale wasn't about marriage. It was about you and the contract. He left me for a week and the first night we went out was the day after he came back. I was finally able to talk to Jo and Madge about it that night. We tried to be discrete but obviously that failed", I say.

"Oh", is all he says. His brows knit together has he contemplates what to say next. His face relaxes and hopefully what he says next isn't filled with anger. "I, well, didn't assume that. You said during that first meeting you two had been together for a while, so I just assumed that's what you were talking about. I'm sorry for assuming that but with the way you want a career also makes me assume you don't want marriage", he says pinching his nose right between his eyes.

We're quiet for a long time as I take in the fact he's making assumptions about me that I could never get through Gale's head. I decide to drop the subject about it and switch to the reason why he wants to break the contract off. "So, you want to break the contract off", I say making him jerk at the sound of my voice.

"Yea, well, I can't do this anymore", he says nonchalantly, unwilling to explain further.

"You're going to have to elaborate on that because I don't understand", I tell him shifting uncomfortably in my seat. I have this building feeling that he's going to confess some sort of feelings towards me and right now, after what Gale pulled, I really don't want to confront how I feel toward him.

"Well, Katniss, twenty some odd years ago, I tripped over you into your beloved dandelion patch and broke my right forearm", he starts. I roll my eyes at the beginning of the story, wondering where this is going to go. "The week after though was hell when you decided to shove me and we both got indoor recess. I know it sounds silly but when I suggested we add that I heard you sing one day, that was actually true", he says with a sigh. He pauses for a long time before continuing. "Katniss, that second day after I returned from the bathroom and you were singing to yourself. I remember it so vividly because I had to stop in the door way for a few moments, and I swore as I rounded the corner out the window all the birds had stopped to listen to you. You can't deny me that because you shut up after that, and I never heard you sing again until high school, which was always a pleasure before most home baseball games.

"I also snuck into a few of those concerts you had with the choir. I sat in the back, silently cheering you on. No one knew or at least I don't think they did as I tried to hide in the darkest corner just so I could hear you sing. I know it sounds pathetic and I was a complete jerk during high school and should have talked to you sooner, but baseball got in the way of things", he says gesturing his hands. "I was going to tell you all of this when you walked through those double doors of Cato's office but your apprehension to the whole thing put me off and I couldn't face it. This whole fake relationship with you has fucked with my head. And back in October when I had Finn come to you to ask about the fake relationship because "he caught me cheating on you", that was a lie. I got piss drunk and told him I was in a fake relationship with you which he didn't believe so I came up with the lie the day after. You're so god damn beautiful and intelligent and motivated, and I respect you so much that I could never cheat on you, let alone fake cheat on you", he says, and I remain silent taking in his confession.

"I know it's a lot to take in but Katniss, I've felt this way since the very first shoot we did and we kissed. I don't know how you felt after that, but I wanted more from it. I know I may be walking into territory I shouldn't but I if I'm correct you've allowed me to kiss you more and deeper if I may say. And that's what is killing me. You and your mixed signals", he finishes with a huff, crossing his arms, folding back into the chair.

"Peeta, I don't know what to say", I say because I have no idea what to say at his confession and honestly his last part is right. Him not sleeping with a second prostitute changes my thoughts on him a little but he did still sleep with one to start this whole thing off. Which I guess was part of the reason for my mixed feelings was how far he'd go to receive pleasure. I hate to say it but I think the reason I hate him is because I give him mixed feelings. That he actually makes me feel things.

"Yea, well anything other than that will do", he says.

"Um, uh, Peeta, I can't, I don't", I stumble over my words trying to formulate how I want to tell Peeta how I feel about him. He remains quiet, staring off into space. I'm thankful for the time he's allowing me to think but I know at any moment he could just get up and leave. "You know I hate you right?" I say turning toward him and he raises an eyebrow at my statement. I want to tell him that I need more time to think, about this, about him, about us but his confession makes me want to confess. "Yea, I hate you because you make me feel things I shouldn't", I can feel tears prick my eyes as I say those words. "I know I went into this with low expectations on you because I had to pay my bills, that's why I signed on. But it wasn't worth it. I would have rather not been able to pay them for what you put me through. Gale and I were so good. So good. But you, you came in and practically swept me off my feet and I hated it. I didn't want to accept that the small gestures you would make were you caring. Your sly comments in my ear were you just reacting to me hating you.

"I don't know where to go with this Peeta, or even with you but if we need to break this contract off then so be it. I bet Haymitch can help me move to another city, change my name, give me a whole look and start over just to forget about this", I say contemplating the actual possibility of it.

"I don't want you to have to do that, Katniss. I don't want to forget you or this", he says reaching his hand over and gingerly placing it on my resting hand. We both stare down at the connection, unmoving. His hand on mine feels different then before, and I can almost feel a small shockwave go through my body. I want to pull it away but when I look up from our hands, Peeta's one sea blue eye is gazing at me, almost pleading me to not do what I know is best. The sight of his one bruised eye reminds me of Gale and why I can't do this right now. Or why it would be best if I didn't.

"Peeta, I," I start, slowly pulling my hand away, shaking my head, "I can't do this."

"I'm not asking you to do anything, Katniss", he says, still leaning closer to me. "I said I didn't want to forget and I probably won't. I will always remember the girl who I literally fell for back in kindergarten. The girl who can make birds stop to listen to her sing. The girl who is so stubborn and annoying about every little detail in her life, but I fell for anyway when I realized that's how she showed her passion for it. The girl that I really want to kiss right now but know if I do it will ruin everything and the girl who apparently doesn't like me, never has, possibly never will", he whispers the last sentence to me. He's inches from my face and I can't seem to move or even speak. I don't know what makes me do it, but I start to lean toward him. I shut my eyes, knowing I'll probably regret this but I need to know. I need to know how I feel kissing Peeta without cameras around.

Our lips barely touch when I hear the door fly open and we jerk away from each other, unfortunately not quick enough. "Have you guys", Cato starts but stops when he sees how close Peeta and I are. "Um, well, just let us know when you have a decision", he says quickly and walks back out the door.

"Katniss, I'm sorry for that, that was uncalled for. I shouldn't have done that. I", he starts but I stop him.

"You're damn right you shouldn't have because I now I have to kiss you to make sure I'm right about what I want to do", I say, standing and stepping the few feet to the front of his chair. He wasn't looking at me so when he turns, finally realizing what I said, he's shocked that I'm standing over him.

"Kat, I", he tries to say but I stop him with my lips. Or at least I thought I stopped him because he pushes me away from him. "Seriously, Katniss. I was serious when I shouldn't have leaned in. I can't kiss you anymore. I can't touch you anymore. I can't be around you. I just can't!", he practically yells. He looks away from me, with his arms crossed, breathing heavy sighs.

"You know I'm not the best with words. Interviews are difficult, keeping up friendships is annoying, and honestly I don't know how Gale and I didn't blow up earlier", I say, waving my hands around for dramatic effect, even though he's still not looking at me. "You're good with words Peeta. That's why I think the public was so convinced from the get go. Hell, you could woo a crowd in middle school." His head whips around at my confession of paying attention to him in middle school.

"You paid attention to me? You? Katniss Everdeen, paid attention to me?" he says raising his eyebrows.

"Oh, calm yourself. Nobody could ignore you. You were charming, had flowy blonde hair, built like a demi god, were the star of the baseball team, made honor roll every semester" I retort back.

"Demi god body? How badly did you want me back then?", he says with the biggest smirk on his face.

"God damn it Peeta, shut up!", I yell back him with probably too much fury in my voice because Peeta recoils back into the seat with his hands up in defeat. "Thank you", I say with a huff trying to recollect my thoughts. "As I was saying, I'm not good with words. Therefore, I can't fully communicate how I feel about this whole situation. All I can say is that you confuse me. You confuse the fuck out of me. Why? I don't know. You were a jerk, you still practically are. But then again so am I for putting Gale through all of this", I say, sitting back down.

"If I confuse you, then why kiss me?", he asks.

"I was going to kiss you to unconfuse me but obviously you didn't want that to happen so now were here" I say crossing my arms, looking down at floor.

"How was kissing me going to do that?", he asks again.

"I don't know! Jeez, I may be smart in some topics but not in relationships. I've only had one other relationship besides Gale and oh look, he's sitting right next to me", I say with a huff annoyed with his onslaught of questions.

"Yea, well you got me there because you're the only relationship I've ever had. Fake or real", he says.

"Wait, you're kidding right? Didn't you date that girl with the weird name? Sparkle wasn't it?", I ask, laughing at what ever that girl's name was.

"Glimmer", he says chuckling. "And no, we never dated. She went around telling people we were for awhile and then I had to publicly "break up" with her just to get her to shut up. Don't you remember me yelling at", he says stopping abruptly.

"What?", I ask confused at him stopping.

"Nothing, its nothing", he says, waving his hand.

"No seriously, why wouldn't I. Oh.", I say realizing when this would have happened. "It happened the week after my father died, didn't it?", I ask.

"Oh, so he, I. I'm so sorry Katniss. No one never actually confirmed it for me. Well honestly we ran in two different circles so there wasn't a way for me to find out", he says apologetically.

"I can't blame you for anything, and you don't have to apologize", I say. "That's why I have so many bills to pay, half for my mom and her meds and therapy. And Prim, she wants to go to med school, so I need to save for that while also helping pay for her college and such", I don't know why I told him all this, but I feel like I needed to finally explain myself for saying "I just needed to pay bills" is the only reason I signed on to this. "So that's why I said yes to this whole thing. So, I could take care of my family", I say, feeling tears prick my eyes again as I remember my father. He wouldn't have approved of this whole thing, but I know for sure he would want me to be happy. And right now, I'm not. I take a large breath in willing the tears away.

"Katniss, I don't know what to say", he says turning toward me reaching his hand out again but pulls it back.

"I'm not happy Peeta. Not happy with you, with Gale, with this whole thing. I don't want to say this, but we need to", I start but am cut off by Peeta.

"You don't have to say the rest of those words, Katniss, because I know. I know that we can't do this anymore", he says turning away from me.

"That's not what I was going to say but if that's what you want, then okay", I say uncrossing my arms to stand to go tell Haymitch.

"Then what were you going to say?", he asks turning back toward me, forcing me to sit back down.

"I, well, I was going to say we need to figure us out. Be apart. Think. Keep the contract intact. You have spring training next week for a month and a half. I need to figure out work and Gale and us being apart could be best for us. After which we can decide what to do. But only if you want that to happen", I say shyly finally able to tell him what I thought about in the cellar.

"Oh, I, well I was thinking about that, but I didn't think you would have wanted to do that. But if you want to do that, then I'm fine with that", he says a little too quickly.

"Okay then. I have to go talk to, um, uh", I can't say Gale's name because Peeta is smiling at me, like I'm a puppy. "You okay?", I ask confused by his look.

He blinks his eyes repeatedly and pulls back. "Yea, uh, you need to go talk to him", he says standing. I stand and follow him out the door to an awaiting Haymitch, Darius and Cato.

"So?", Haymitch inquires.

"Contract still stands but is most likely going to need a modifier", I mumble toward him on my way out of the kitchen. Because even though we may have just confessed to each other we have some type of feelings for the other, I still have to talk to Gale and I still don't know if I want to be with Peeta

The dining room is relatively empty with just a few servers left taking candles off the tables and organizing for the next day. I shove the stupid necklace box into my pocket in fear anyone will see it. I enter the bathroom and am greeted by Joanna. "You and I are going drinking since Madge decided to leave right when Darius said she could leave", she says throwing my purse at me.

"I can't I have to go talk to Gale", I say trying my best to ignore my urge to down alcohol right now.

"He's probably passed out by now with how drunk he was when he came in here. You can at least have a drink or two with me", she pleads. Jo doesn't normally beg or even tries to pull me to get me to go drink when I say no the first time. But she does have a point of Gale most likely being passed out. I know I do want to be there when he wakes up, so we can talk right away but that's not going to happen until the morning.

"Okay fine", I mumble back.

"Perfect!", she yells and pushes me back out the door. Her insistently over the matter is odd but I shake it away as I realize I desperately need a drink or two. Or maybe even a whole damn bottle of wine.

"Can we go to the wine bar on Hamilton?", I ask half knowing her answer is going to be a no because she doesn't normally drink wine to get drunk. Jo's choice of drink is normally whiskey and 'Uncorked', doesn't have a great selection.

"Yea, yea. Sure, whatever you want! As long as I get drunk", she says as she hails a taxi for us. Jo's behavior is putting me on edge that something is up, but I smile and nod my thanks as I slip into the cab. She tells the driver the address and I try to lose myself in the city lights as the car maneuvers us through the streets.

We remain silent until we're seated at a booth when I have to ask Jo what is going on. "Okay, seriously. What the hell is up with you agreeing to me wanting to come here? You never want to come here?"

"You had a shitty day and well, I was kinda a bitch earlier to you about Peeta and shit. When Gale came blazing in to the restaurant drunk, my first reaction was to protect you. And me making fun of you about Peeta was the opposite and I care about you Kat. And you shouldn't be in a relationship with either of those dip shits, you know that right?", she asks never looking at me.

"Yea, I know", I agree with her, but I am curious as to why I shouldn't be with Gale. "Wait, why shouldn't I be with Gale? You've had plenty of years to tell me that before Peeta so why now?", I ask trying to get her to look up from the menu.

"I, uh, forget I said anything. It doesn't matter", she mumbles, still not making eye contact with me. This behavior from her is worrying but before I can ask any further questions, a bartender comes by to take our orders.

"I'll have a double of your best whiskey and she'll have a bottle of the '14 Pinot from District 1", she says handing back the menu.

"Um, thanks", I say, pleased that she was able to spot a guilty pleasure of mine. She nods her acceptance but remains silent, checking her phone. "So, since you won't talk about Gale, can you at least tell me how the rest of service went?", I ask to try and get her to talk.

"Service went pretty shitty after you ran. Darius and I went around getting videos of the fiasco and offering half priced bottles of wine. Most took it, others refused so we offered to cut their bill in half. That took care of the rest", she says sipping on her whiskey. We remain silent for a while.

She orders a second whiskey and I can see her shoulders relax finally. I'm about half away through the bottle so I think its okay to ask again. "Okay seriously. What did you want to tell me about Gale?" I can't take it anymore Jo", I say, and she finally makes eye contact with me.

"You really want to know?", she askes raising her eyebrows. I nod, and she continues, "You two are shitty together. Too similar. Like I said earlier you and Peeta have more fake chemistry than you and Gale had in four years combined. Two years ago, Gale use to look at you like Peeta now does.

"You're holding him back from what he wants and honestly he's doing the same with you. I know tonight probably ends it anyways but like I said that night you said he wanted to talk to you, you should have fucked him and then forgot about him. But nope you guys stuck it out, holding on to a secret for months, then years.

"When he brought up marriage he only had Madge and I to talk to. Listening to him want to propose, it took everything Madge and I had in us to stop him, knowing how you felt about it. That's when you should have broken up with him. Which would have made that two years ago and you wouldn't be in this situation with a real and fake boyfriend. But now you may not even have either and well I'm sorry Kat", she says looking down at the table.

"Um, no thank you. I needed to hear that", I tell her trying to console her because she looks devastated and I think she still wants to say something, but I leave it be.

By the time I finish the bottle, she's had another three double whiskeys and I decide its time to get her into a cab to go home. She's stumbling all over the place and can barely stand up, so I decide to go with her to make sure she passes out in her apartment and not the cab. She leans on me the whole car ride over to her apartment and I can her mumble something over and over again. I'm quite tipsy so I stupidly ask her to speak up because I think I make out something about Gale.

"Gale is sleeping", she slurs, and I again miss the last part.

"Yea, he's back at my apartment sleeping because he too is drunk", I half slur dragging her out of the cab.

"Noooo. He's sleeping with someoneee. Butttt I can't say whooo", she says hiccupping.

"Okay, your drunk because you've gone back a few years in memories", I say hitting the elevator button up to the tenth floor.

"Katnissss I know who your aree. Gale, he's sleeping with someone who isn't youuuu", she slurs leaning on the elevator wall.

"Oh" I sigh, at the realization of Gale cheating on me. But I guess I am too, so I don't think I can blame him. We both stumble into her apartment with her leaning on me heavily while I try to support both of us.

I lay her on her bed, propping her up on her side with a bunch of pillows. "Why are you crying", she asks, barely able to keep herself up. At least she's able to make coherent sentences so I don't have to worry too much I think as I wipe the tears away that I didn't know were there.

"Because you just told me one of my worst fears and assumptions about Gale", I whisper to her while covering her with a blanket.

"Oh yea that", she mumbles back and snuggles up. "You can stay here if you don't want to go back".

"Thanks Jo. I think I will", I say turning off the lights in her room. I find another blanket and remove most of my clothes before turning off the lamp by the couch. I try to close my eyes, but I have so many questions for Joanna about who it could be and when it started. Then it hits me. I know exactly when this started and can only assume who.

 _I hear the door fly open as I finish opening a bottle wine for myself. "Oh, I thought you had work tonight. I was going to surprise you", Gale says. I haven't seen him since last Thursday. I was worried sick when he left again, but Madge told me, he contacted her that he'd be staying with his brother, Rory, for a little bit and to tell me that he was fine, just needed a few days to think._

 _"_ _No, I, uh, had an afternoon shoot so I switched shifts with Jo", I say pouring myself a hefty glass because I don't want to confront our last conversation. I'm turned away from him and hear his duffel bag hit the floor. I'm afraid to turn to face him, so I remain where I am, staring blankly at my wine glass. His hands slide around my waist as he rests his chin on my shoulder._

 _"_ _What ya drinking?", he asks casually, obviously also avoiding our last conversation._

 _"_ _District 1 Pinot Noir, vintage '05. I thought I'd treat myself after an awful day", I say trying to not go too deep into why it was so awful. He brushes off my braid before speaking again._

 _"_ _What made it so awful?", he whispers into my ear. He begins to nibble on my ear lobe. I've missed this. I've missed him being around that I lose myself in the moment. "I can't fix the problem until you tell me Catnip", he whispers again, moving his hands up and down my sides._

 _"_ _I, just. It was a bad shoot. I don't want to", he spins me around quickly in his arms and plants a kiss on my lips that presses me against the counter. He pulls away and I can tell something is different. I don't feel a spark, not like I use to._

 _"_ _God I missed doing that", he whispers and places his forehead against mine. I can barely see it but its there. A small bruise along his collar line. I don't know who gave it to him, but I try to ignore it as he leans back in. I've missed him so much I give in as he pulls me toward our bedroom._

* * *

 **AN: I actually didn't think I was going to add this last part with Gale cheating on Katniss until a few more chapters but I think it worked better here. Next chapter is in Katniss POV.**


	8. Should've Said No

**AN: AHHHHH I soooo meant to post this earlier this week but Valentines Day crazy so I forgot :(. But its here now! Please remember this story is rated M for not only language but for *gasp* sexual content. There's not much in this chapter but will be in future chapters. Katniss's POV**

* * *

I don't know when I fell asleep, but I'm awoken by the sun beaming into my eyes and an extreme urge to pee. I check my phone and see the god-awful time of 7 am. I get up to use the bathroom and am finally able to see how bad my makeup is smeared across my face. A few tear lines run down the left side, reminding me of why I slept so horribly. "Fuck", I whisper to myself as I touch my cheek. I pee, remove my makeup and take a few Tylenol knowing I'm bound to get some sort of hangover in the next few hours. I return to my place on the couch and try to close my eyes again.

The next thing I know I'm being woken by Joanna banging around in the kitchen and the smell of coffee enters my nose. "Oh, shit I didn't mean to wake you", she says sitting at the table with a steaming cup of coffee. I look at my phone again and am amazed and slightly horrified to see it's almost noon.

"Shit. I didn't mean to sleep this late", I say scrambling to put back on my suit pants, that have been left in a pile by the coffee table.

"Kat, slow down. You'll talk to Gale eventually. Have a cup of coffee first. Relax. Besides its now going to look like you're doing the worst walk of shame ever with how badly that suit is wrinkled", she says into her coffee. "You can borrow some of my clothes. Or actually there might be a pair of jeans I borrowed from you in the dryer."

I give up in a huff trying to straighten out the creases and settle down at the table, placing my head in my arms on top of it. "How much do you remember from last night?", I ask wondering if see remembers telling me about Gale.

"Depends on how much you remember", she says.

"I was the more sober one so yes I remember the whole night. Fuck, I remember the whole god damn day", I say into my arms, not wanting to move.

"Well then. I remember what I said about Gale and I'm sorry Kat for telling you like that. But you needed to know", she says touching my arm.

"Do you want to tell me who?", I ask.

"Who? What are you talking about? I said stuff about how you and Gale don't belong together? What do you mean by. Oh shit. How much did I drink last night?", she asks. I finally pull myself up and see that she's massaging the sides of her head.

"Too much obviously", I chide.

"No shit. I obviously told you something I shouldn't have if you're asking me who. Because that can only mean one thing", she says.

"Yea, you told me that Gale is cheating on me. Which I guess I kinda already knew", I say shyly.

"You knew and didn't say anything?", she asks

"You knew and didn't say anything!", I yell back.

"You've been technically cheating on him for nine months! What did you expect Katniss! For him to be loyal?", she yells back. "He has to see you and Peeta plastered everywhere. I know he told you he didn't like it but its so much worse than you think. Each time I see him because God forbid were all seen together, all he can talk about is how he misses you. He misses you so much and the photos make it worse He gets so drunk and passes out when you're gone for photoshoots. Its gross and you need to end this now with him", she says slowly calming down. "Don't bring up the cheating thing with him because he's just going to through back Peeta. Just end it. Take the blame and move the fuck on Kat", she says standing.

"Okay", I say. I contemplate not talking to her about Peeta and realize I only have her left to talk to. "So Peeta and I talked about taking a break, well technically, since he has spring training and all. But were gonna think about the contract and how we feel toward each other", I start as she pours herself another cup of coffee.

"Yea and? What's there to think about?", she asks nonchalantly.

"I don't know, I just. I'm about to break up with Gale, who was my boyfriend of four years. The only person I've had a relationship with. So, I'm not exactly an expert on this", I say shyly.

"And you're coming to me for advice? Katniss, how many people have I been in a relationship with since I met you?", she asks and I shrug my shoulder because I don't know. Jo's a pretty secretive person except for when it comes to sex. She'll talk about it openly. And then it hits me. She likes having sex without a relationship.

"Ah, right. But what about Clove? You two seem pretty happy together", I say.

"Ha. Funny. Me and Clove hooked up for a while and then she got clingy. I told Darius to fire her because I couldn't stand her anymore and well he does anything for me", she says sitting back down.

"Ohh, I was wondering what happened to her last month. That explains a lot.", I say finally able to solve the mysterious reason Clove disappeared. "But you and Darius. Your little situation, don't you want anything more from that?", I ask, trying to get her to spill anything about her friends with benefits relationship.

"No, not really", she says shrugging. "There's a reason it's a 'friends with benefits' situation".

"That has been going on for how many years now? Five?", I ask, already knowing the answer. "That doesn't sound like friends with benefits. That sounds more like a relationship to me, where sex is the only thing you do every now and then".

"Yea, okay shut up", she says with a shy smile.

"Ha! You should tell him", I say.

"Maybe, I don't want to ruin our friendship so telling him could be a throw loop through all of this and I don't want to end it", she says.

"Okay, I guess I can't force anything on you", I say. We remain silent for a while. She breaks it but clearing her throat. I raise my eyebrows because I have a feeling she's going to bring Peeta back up.

"What do you have to think about with Peeta?", she says side eyeing me.

"Like I said, I don't know. Peeta irritates me so much. He's such a jerk, stuck up, thoughtless, annoying, not mention he's the one that basically broke Gale and I up", I say crossing my arms, turning my head away from her.

"Peeta did not break you and Gale up. You're going to be breaking up with him later because you accepted the contract in May, and Peeta went ahead and pulled the dumbest move in history by proposing, which is what Gale wanted to do long ago", she says sternly. "We both know why you accepted but was the last nine months' worth it? And besides you two needed to break up, when you told him you never wanted to get married.

"You looked like hell when this started, and you look even worse because of the double relationship. But when you were with Peeta, you at least looked happy. I can't tell you how you feel or felt but I think you really need time to reflect on the last nine months with Peeta, as if you were dating him. So, don't think about Gale, just remember everything with Peeta. Take the next few weeks to think about", she says.

I'm slightly shocked by her answer but maybe it'll work. "Then I guess I need to go break up with Gale first", I say standing from the table to go find my jeans.

"That would be a great start", I hear her yell as I rummage through her dryer. I slip them on, grab my purse, grab my wrinkled suit and yell a 'see ya' back into the apartment as I shut the door. I hail a cab and am thankful for the ten minutes of quiet for the ride over to the apartment. I'm horrified, however, when I see multiple paparazzi standing outside the building.

"Shit", I curse under my breath. I pay the driver and get out and am immediately swarmed by them. I hear everything from 'Show us the ring!' to 'Where's Peeta?' to my worst fear of 'What happened last night at Capitol Bistro?'. My eyes go wide at that question and push my way through them and inside the door, silently thanking Haymitch when I see two men standing at the door instead of one. I don't encounter a single person on my way up and am about to open my door when I hear the door behind me open.

"Katniss?", I hear Peeta voice call out. I turn and am greeted by his abs. I guess I stare a little too long because he clears his throat repeatedly.

"Oh, uh, yes? What do you need?", I ask avoiding eye contact.

"Nothing particularly. I was just on my way out for a run and well I guess you're just getting home so your presence surprised me a little I guess", he says quietly.

"Okay, well I have to go", I say fumbling to get my key in the door.

"Yea, yea sure. Bye Katniss", I hear him say as I close the door behind me.

I was hoping he would have just taken his stuff and left, which would have made this much easier, but his shoes are by the door and his knife kit is on the counter. Well fuck, I think to myself because I also see a purse that isn't mine. It's Madge's and well I'm honestly confused as to why she would still be here. I at least thought Gale would be smarter about this.

I don't dare go back into the bedroom, so I start making myself coffee, seeing if the smell brings either of them out. I sit down at the counter and start going through emails from work. Nothing strikes me as important, so I start going through Haymitch's messages to me from last night.

 **HAYMITCH: What modifier are we talking about?**

 **HAYMITCH: Cato told me the position he saw you two in. Sweetheart, be careful. Ugly lover boy, c'mon girl.**

 **HAYMITCH: But then again, that'll make this so much easier with President Snow.**

 **HAYMITCH: Do what you want though.**

 **HAYMITCH: Wait will the modifier be to take out Gale as your boyfriend? If so, good call.**

 **HAYMITCH: Call me when you can.**

I roll my eyes at him because he's right about Gale and Peeta. His last text was from earlier this morning, but I ignore it not wanting to be put off this break up with Gale any longer. I hear the bedroom door open and I don't dare turn around, so I keep staring at my phone.

"How'd you sleep? Because I slept like shit", I say.

"I, uh, um", he stumbles over his words. "How'd you know? Who told you?", he asks finally.

"No one had to tell me, Gale", I say very thankful for the spinning stools I bought a few years ago so I don't have to get any closer to him. He's standing in the bedroom doorway in only his boxers, with his hair a mess. "But if you have to know, Joanna, technically. But a small little bruise told me when you came back in November", I say shrugging.

"Why didn't you say anything", he says stepping out of the room, closing the door.

"Oh, you should keep the door open, I want her to hear all of this", I retort.

"Kat, c'mon. Don't be mean", he says.

"Mean? I'm not being mean. We both made mistakes. I was open about mine, told you everything. You're the one that was closed off. Not telling me how you really felt about Peeta. Especially after the extension. You could have left, but you didn't. You just decided to cheat on me. How'd that make you feel?", I question.

"I did tell you! I always told you!", he yells at me. I shake my head.

"You just said you didn't approve and always accepted that I did it for money. You could have spoken up more, gave more of an opinion. Told me no or I'll leave. You gave me the option to be with Peeta and date you. Why wouldn't I take it?", I ask.

"Can I ask you something", he asks ignoring my questions and before I can respond no he asks anyways. "When was the last time we had sex before I returned in November? Hmm? Can't remember? Yea because I couldn't either. Probably your birthday when I returned with that meal. Was that it?", he says. "You kept saying we were good, and I believed you. I tried so hard to believe we were good but each photo I saw of you and Peeta it got a lot harder. So, yea, I cheated. But so did you".

"I know", I say softly, instantly regretting bringing it up, like Joanna said I shouldn't.

"Can you really blame me though for cheating, when you practically ended this nine months ago?", he's close to me now, and his stance makes me feel little at the realization of what I did to him settles on me.

"You need to leave, Gale. You said it already. It's my fault, my decision, my family, my actions were ending this, so please just take your stuff and Madge with you on your way out. And please don't return because I don't want to see you ever again", I choke out spinning away from him because I can feel tears at my eyes and don't want to cry in front of him.

"Okay, fine Katniss. I'll leave but first answer this for me", he says, and I feel like I already know his question. "At what point was it not fake with Peeta anymore?", he asks. I try to formulate an answer, but I have none because I don't know. I don't know when I didn't feel something for Peeta, the guy I thought I hated, thought I always would. "Exactly Katniss. I honestly never thought there was a point, and that hurts the most", he says, and I hear the bedroom door close. I let out a soft sob and the tears fall.

I wipe them away as quickly as they fell because I hear frantic footsteps and yelling from the bedroom. I can't make out exact sentences, but it has to deal with Joanna telling me about them. The last word I hear Madge yell is 'necklace' and my eyes go wide. "Oh, god where did I put that thing", I whisper to myself and search frantically through my purse. Take out half the contents when I remember myself storming out of the kitchen last night with it in hand. I'm relieved that its in my suit pocket and place it on the counter.

I try to busy myself with cleaning the kitchen which doesn't take long because I try to keep this place as clean as possible. I make a few circles around the kitchen like an idiot when the bedroom door finally opens.

Gale emerges with a few bags followed by Madge, who doesn't dare look up at me. I turn away from them searching through the fridge for something to eat because I'm starved. Not a word is said between us three, but I hear Gale's heavy steps come to the counter. He drops the key off and then I hear him stride toward the door. He slams it shut and I finally let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in. I turn back around and see that he grabbed both his knife kit and her purse but not the necklace box.

"Damn you Gale", I whisper at his last little gesture. All I can think he mean by it is that he still wants forever but I can't give that to him.

The empty apartment is chilling, and I haven't lived alone since my sophomore year of college. I put on some music and start making myself eggs and bacon because why not? I should treat myself, right?

I've just finished cleaning the kitchen again when I my phone rings. I answer it immediately when I see Prim's crazy face pop up to FaceTime her.

"Hey Prim", I barely get out before she's screaming in my face.

"OH MY GOD! SHOW ME THE RING!", she screams at me.

"I, um, one second. I don't have it on right now", I say entering into the bedroom. The bed is made, and the closet and drawers are shut. The room looks too clean and organized that it distracts me from my task.

"Katniss? Helloooo? The ring? Where is it?", she pleads.

"Yea, yea sorry. Peeta actually cleaned the room before he left this morning", I lie. I turn to the dresser to exactly where I thought I placed the ring yesterday. "Well, obviously he cleaned too well because he put the ring somewhere else", I say through my teeth because I can only assume that Gale moved it somewhere. I do a quick 360 and spot it on the nightstand. "Found it!"

"Let me see! I'm so happy for you! Eeek!", she screams again. And yet again when I show her the ring. "When do I actually get to meet Peeta? Mom and I are dying to meet him!", she says casually.

"Soon. I promise!", I lie again.

"You keep saying that! I think mom's a little upset Peeta didn't ask her first or even meet him. C'mon Katniss! Won't he be in District 4 for spring training? Why don't you go with him for a weekend and we can all meet up?", she says excitedly. I hate to do it, but I have to tell her that that's not going to be possible.

"Prim, you know I have work and he's going to be busy with training and how do you even know he's going to be in District 4?", I ask trying to divert the conversation.

"I of course follow the Careers on Instagram and Twitter. I gotta keep up with what my sister's really hot fiancé is up to", she says shrugging her shoulders.

"Oh right", I say. I walk back out to the living room and sit down on the couch.

"So, is it going to happen? I really want to meet him, so I could ask him for an autograph from Finnick Odair", she says. Her excitement is starting to bug me and if she asks again I might explode.

"Prim c'mon. I already said no. It's not possible, okay?", I say sternly.

"Katniss you do know we have to meet him before you marry him. You can't walk down the aisle without your family meeting your fiancé, you know?", she asks.

"Prim! It's not happening okay?", I tell her sternly, ready to hang up on her.

"I just don't understand, Katniss. Why not?", she asks with the most puzzled look on her face.

"Because Peeta and I aren't actually engaged! We aren't even dating! This whole thing is fake", I blow up at her and I instantly feel relief. "Oh, jeez, that really felt good to say", I admit to her.

"Wait what? But the photos? They look so real? I don't understand", she says shyly.

"I signed a contract for extra money to help pay for your med school and college and mom's meds and treatment. And you remember Gale, right?", I ask.

"Yea, your best friend that you brought to almost all of our family gatherings, right?"

"Yea well we were dating at the time and", I start but she cuts me off.

"You were dating Gake? Katniss I'm so confused", she says again.

"God damn it Prim. Let me talk!", I scream at her and that shuts her up.

"Okay, Gale and I were secretly dating at the time for just over three years. We were going to tell people but then the whole Peeta situation came up and well that basically sent out relationship down-hill. With Peeta's surprise engagement yesterday it, well, revealed something and now I no longer am dating Gale. So, I'm only technically engaged Peeta. Well technically, Peeta and I are thinking about how we should continue", I add as an afterthought.

"Katniss, I'm so offended right now you wouldn't tell me about Gale", she says quietly.

"I know. But for it to work Gale and I agreed to not tell anyone but bringing each other to family events wasn't not allowed so I did", I say halfheartedly.

"I honestly thought we had a better relationship then this. Especially since you said you dated for over three years. I thought you would have told me at least that it was a secret", she practically whispers not looking at me.

"I've made a lot of mistakes in the past few years and not telling you is probably the worst one, besides dating Gale", I say mumbling the last part.

"Dating Gale was a mistake? You dated him for a long time Katniss, how was that a mistake?", she questions sternly obviously annoyed.

"Well we don't want the same things and I dragged him along with me because I thought he understood I don't want to get married or have kids because he loved me and what not. And then I dragged him through this Peeta situation, so I was basically cheating on him and last night I found out he was cheating on me. So, yea, Prim. The last four years I made a huge mistake dating Gale. More than I can make up for and I'm sorry", I say as my phone screen shows I have another call coming in from Haymitch. "I have to go little duck", I say with a half-smile.

"Okay", is all she says and disconnects the call. I immediately pick up the call from Haymitch, now in a sour mood over Prim.

"Hey Hay", I start and am immediately cut off.

"No time for greetings. We have a problem", he says.

"Now what?", I ask trying to think what could possibly be wrong now. As he's saying it, I know what the problem is.

"Some one leaked a photo of Gale. We didn't get the picture in time", he sighs into the phone "They want a statement about it. So, what are we doing, or I mean you doing?", he asks.

"I'm not in the mood to do this right now", I say sitting down on my couch.

"I don't give a shit about your mood right now, Katniss. I need you to tell me what to say to the reporters about this", he practically yells into the phone.

"Calm down, Haymitch. If this gets blown up, I don't care anymore. It doesn't matter. It wasn't worth it", I say and wait for him to respond but he remains silent, so I continue. "If you need something so badly and since this contract is still intact I guess I'll lie", I say rolling my eyes. "Tell them that Gale was the ex I broke up with and he came in very drunk, wanting to confess he still had feelings for me and didn't want me to marry Peeta or some shit like that. That should work, right?" I ask, quite pleased with myself for coming up with that.

"I think that'll do", he says. "Now that that's out of the way, how are you holding up?", he asks I think more out of politeness than actually wanting to know how I am.

"I just broke up with boyfriend of almost four years because get this. We were both cheating. Me technically speaking but him actually cheating on me", I say shaking my head, thankful that I don't feel the urge to cry about it. "I also just had to explain to my sister about the whole situation so I'm not exactly feeling great Haymitch. Not great at all".

"I, uh, don't know what to say to that", he says clearing his throat multiple times.

"Yea, well now I plan on not doing anything for the remainder of the day. So, if you don't mind, I'm gonna get back to not doing anything. Goodbye Haymitch", I say hanging up before he can say his goodbye.

I don't know what to do with myself even though its just like any other day off. I would normally go out with Madge and Jo for dinner and drinks or study with Madge for our upcoming advanced test but that's not happening anymore. Or at least the 'with Madge' part. It's only 2pm, so I decide to study by myself, first by looking at flash cards and maps and then decide to study by opening up a bottle of wine. By the time I've finished a glass its almost 7pm and decide to call it a night with studying.

I order Chinese take-out and set up a Netflix movie. When the food arrives I'm half way through another glass and am becoming sleepy from the second taxing day in a row and from the lack of sleep I got last night. I scarf down my noodles and decide not to finish the bottle, pouring one last glass and then sealing it for tomorrow. I relax back on the couch and switch on 'Stranger Things'. I finish it in peace along with my wine and decide that I should sleep instead of sulk over the ending of a season and the day that happened.

I've just finished getting ready for bed when I hear a knock on the door. Assuming its Gale, "dear God what didn't you understand about take everything when you", I practically yell opening the door and don't finish the sentence when I see that Gale isn't the one on the other side. "Peeta, what are you doing here?", I question getting a whiff of alcohol and smoke wafting off of him. He's swaying and barely able to hold himself up.

"Oh, um I locked myself out of my apartment. Can I, can I uh have my spare key?", he asks. "I did give you a spare key right? Because if not, that's gonna be a veryy awkward conversation with the front desk", he slurs, leaning on the door frame.

"I, uh, no I don't have a spare key", I say unsure of what else to do.

"I could have *hiccup* sworn I gave you one. Or at least Haymitch would have", he slurs more.

"Come in I guess because we can't have you go ask for the key into the apartment across from my apartment", I say, and he takes a step forward practically falling. "Can you even see out of your eye?", I ask slightly concerned because I doubt he can.

"HA! Funny and yea I can", he says doing his best not to slur. He's leaning heavily on me and I'm glad I'm more sober tonight than I was last night to help him across the apartment. I lay him down on the couch and pull his shoes off. I give him a blanket and hear him mumble something.

"Come again?", I ask turning off the lamp.

"I said thank you, Katniss", he slurs quietly. "And you're really pretty. So pretty, and so nice and why do you hate me? Because I make you feel *hiccup* things you shouldn't", he slurs closing his eyes.

"Yea, okay. Peeta you're drunk. Go to sleep", I say ignoring his questions and answers to himself. I turn away from the couch quickly not wanting to say anything I regret.

"Wait!", he yells sitting straight up. "Where's Gale? He's gonna have a fucking *hiccup* fit when he sees me."

"He, uh, he won't freak out I promise", I lie because Gale would never allow this.

"Oh okay, g'night Katniss", he slurs, falling back down on the couch. I breathe a heavy sigh out and turn the lights off and close my bedroom door.

I try to not think about the man that is on my couch too much, but I can't fall asleep and succumb to my urges. I start to slowly touch myself and let myself relax. I haven't masturbated in a while and figure I need a good night's sleep anyway. Besides Peeta's probably passed out by now, right?

I try to let my mind go blank, but I keep thinking of Peeta from this morning. His shirtless figure startled me and all I could think about in that moment was running my hands up and down his abs. I put more pressure on my clit and begin to make faster circles around it. Me being me I start thinking of what could of happen had I been more assertive and pushed him into his apartment.

 _ **"** **Katniss?", I hear Peeta voice call out. I turn and am greeted by his abs. I guess I stare a little too long because he clears his throat repeatedly.**_

 _ **"** **Oh, uh, yes? What do you need?", I ask avoiding eye contact.**_

 _ **"** **Nothing particularly. I was just on my way out for a run and well I guess you're just getting home so your presence surprised me a little I guess", he says quietly.**_

 _ **"** **Well you being shirtless, surprised me", I say looking back up at him.**_

 _ **"** **Oh yea? You like what you see?", he says leaning up against his doorframe. He's smiling down at the floor not making eye contact with me.**_

 _ **"** **I do", I whisper, stepping forward.**_

 _ **"** **Katniss, I", I stop him with a kiss and place my hands on his abs and push backwards. He complies and when were both in his apartment he slams the door shut. I back him against his counter and start nibbling on his neck. I hear moans of pleasure encouraging to continue. I start making my way down his body slowly kissing him stopping right above his shorts. His breathing gets heavier as I make my way down. "Katniss", he hisses but its not his voice I hear. Its Gale's.**_

I immediately stop moving my hand, very annoyed at the state that I'm in. "Fuck you, Gale", I whisper, frustrated at what just happened. I can't force myself to continue so I curl up in a fetal position hoping for sleep to come.

* * *

 **I intended for the title of this chapter to apply to both Katniss and Gale. So there's that... I've started the next chapter which won't be picking up from where we left Peeta. Please remember that italics are flashbacks, but I used bold for Katniss's little dream sequence since it wasn't really a flashback... Any who feel free to fave, follow and review!**


	9. Back to December

**AN: Busy work week= little to no writting time :/. I was finally able to edit this chapter but have yet to really start on the next. Please be aware of font changes (Italics=flashblack, bold= texting, bolded italics= fantasy/dream) more notes at the end :) Peeta POV**

* * *

I wake up disoriented, with a crook in my neck and the smell of coffee wafting into my nose. I try to open my eyes praying I didn't make a huge mistake last night going home with someone. When my vision finally focuses, I see a photo of Katniss and Gale on the coffee table. It takes my hungover brain a few moments to take in the fact that it's a picture of Katniss and Gale and I shoot up from the couch fast. I immediately regret doing so as I practically fall back onto the couch. "Fuck".

"Oh, morning", I hear her voice come from somewhere behind me. "I didn't mean to wake you, but I have to go do inventory. I texted Haymitch and he'll be over sometime soon to get a key for your apartment."

I close my eyes again as I feel the world spin. "Ugh", is all I'm able to get out and I can hear Katniss laugh at my pain. I try to sit up again to try to get the world to stop spinning.

"Here is water and Tylenol. Coffee is brewing on the stove so help yourself. I have to get ready for work", she says placing the two on the table and stalking away.

"Gale", I mumble out, shutting my eyes again.

"He doesn't live here anymore", I hear her mumble and she shuts her door. It takes a while for me to process what she told me, and I realize that they must of broken up yesterday after I saw her return home. I have no energy to contemplate what that could even mean because of the massive headache I have so I down the water and pills and lie back down.

I must fall asleep again because the next thing I know there's a loud knock on the door. I try to orient myself when I stand and half stumble to open the door. "You look like shit, lover boy", Haymitch practically yells at me and extends his fist to me. I reactively place my hand under it and he drops the key. "Have fun in 4", he says and turns away.

I turn back into Katniss's apartment to grab my shoes that I thought I saw near the coffee table moments ago. I slip them on, grab my phone and slowly make my way over to my apartment. Upon entering, I hear an object slide across the wood floor. I slowly walk to what it was and realize its my key. "What the fuck", I curse and bend to grab it. Before I can though, a wave of nausea sends me running to the bathroom. I throw up what I feel is the entirety of my stomach contents and sit back on the tile floor. I don't want to move, as I try to piece together how I ended up on Katniss's couch last night and the key to my apartment on floor.

 _"Finnick, no of course not. I'm going for a run now. See you later", I say to Finn as I hang up the phone on our conversation of how I'm doing. I swing the door open and am greeted by Katniss trying to open her door. Her suit jacket is flung over her arm and her hair is a mess which makes me question if she's just getting home from last night. We parted ways quickly after agreeing to think about what we should do and didn't think anything of it._

 _"Katniss?", I ask._

 _"Oh, uh, yes? What do you need?", she says quietly, looking down to the ground_

 _"Nothing particularly. I was just on my way out for a run and well I guess you're just getting home so your presence surprised me a little I guess", I say shyly trying to avoid asking her how she is._

 _"Okay, well I have to go", she says turning away from me._

 _"Yea, yea sure. Bye Katniss", I say, and she closes the door on me. I stand in the door way a little while longer contemplating knocking on her door but don't bother._

 _I make my way down to the lobby, setting my playlist up again, avoiding any song with a connection to Katniss so I don't have the same problem as I did yesterday. I run my standard five-mile path and am thoroughly drenched in sweat and am equally satisfied I was able to not think about anything for thirty minutes._

 _I stop by my favorite sandwich shop to reward myself and take the short walk back to the apartment building. I'm bopping my head to my music but can hear a small commotion coming from inside Katniss's apartment. I stop in my tracks to try to listen to what is being said but I can't make out any words. I hear a door slam and then its silent. Deciding I shouldn't knock on her door to make sure she's okay, I enter my apartment prepared to not do anything for the rest of the day. Well not nothing. I have to pack and stuff but still close to nothing._

 _I enjoy my sandwich, shower and then decide to pack. Packing for spring training is becoming easier and easier as the years go on as I realize what I need and don't and can easily find when I arrive. I flop myself down on the couch with a beer at 5pm and decide to text Thom and see if he wants to grab drinks tonight and not wait until Sunday._

 ** _THOM_** _: AYE! Sure! Why don't you join Finn, Annie, Delly and I for dinner and then the guys can go get drinks! Why don't you ask Katniss to join! The more the merrier_

 ** _PEETA_** _: I'm down for dinner and drinks but I am not bringing Katniss, let alone asking her._

 ** _THOM_** _: Dude why not? She is your fake "fiancé" after all. We should meet her!_

 ** _PEETA_** _: We aren't exactly talking to each other right now. Where and when for dinner?_

 ** _THOM_** _: 6:30 at Taste of the Districts_

 ** _PEETA_** _: Got it._

At the realization that I texted Thom, maybe there would be more messages to help piece together what happened afterward. I pull my phone from my pocket, just to find out its dead. "Fuck", I curse as I stand to go find my charger.

I plug in my phone and lie down on my bed waiting for it to buzz informing me it has enough battery in it for me to use it. I must pass out again waiting because when I wake up again I see its almost 3. "Well there went this day", I say to myself. I check my messages and only see frantic updates from Cato about the Gale situation. "Oh, fuck", I curse again remembering what Finn, Thom and I talked about.

 _"Peetaaaaa, you can't let the fact that Katniss and Gale are together bother you anymoreee", Thom slurs while swaying back and forth, beer in hand. He's always been a light weight, somehow._

 _"Yea, Peet. Just tell her", Finn says slapping me on the shoulder. I take another hefty sip on my whiskey and practically slam it on the counter._

 _"I told you guys I already did. Yesterday I told her. Or at least I tried", I say hanging my head._

 _"What do you mean trieddd", Thom questions narrowing his eyes at me._

 _"When we were discussing the contract", I say._

 _"Yea, I bet she didn't buy it or understand you", Finn says shrugging his shoulders._

 _"Um, I'm pretty sure she did because she tried kissing me even after Cato walked in. I told her I didn't mean to lean in and I pushed her away", I confess, finishing my whiskey. I grab the attention of a bartender and order another._

 _"Why did you push her?", Thom slurs again obviously forgetting I just told him all of this._

 _"Kissing her in front of cameras is a contractual obligation. Kissing her in an office by ourselves is her cheating on Gale", I somehow formulate as I hear my words start to slur. I don't know how much I've had but its numbing the pain of what has happened over the past forty-eight hours._

 _"Oh, well don't let Gale get in the way of what you want", Thom says again. I roll my eyes at him and downing my next drink quickly. I attempt to order another and am grateful the bartender allows it. We all remain silent when I think I come up with a brilliant idea._

 _"Guys", I start hanging my head slightly as the alcohol is making my head heavy. "What if I go see Katniss tonight and tell her? I heard Gale and her yelling earlier. What if its over? Maybe *hiccup* I can win her over", I say looking between both of them. Thom looks delighted while Finnick has a worried look in his eye._

 _"That's a brilliant idea, Peet! Go! Go now!", Thom says. I try to stand from the table and stumble forward._

 _"Woah, there", Finn says catching me. "Time to get you in a cab"._

 _"Finn, I know how to get back. You don't need to baby me", I say shrugging him off. He raises his hands in defeat and lets me walk off. I tell the cab driver where to go and he drops me off about a half block from the apartment. "Well, fuck you too", I mumble throwing a twenty at him, climbing out of the cab._

I don't know how I got back and can only think that I accidently dropped my key and I either kicked it or it fell perfectly under the door. I roll my eyes at my drunk self for probably thinking that then knocking on Katniss's door would be a brilliant idea. It doesn't matter now I try to convince myself and decide I should at least attempt to eat something. I make myself a pathetic bowl of cereal and sit down on the couch.

I flip through Netflix trying to find something to watch and end up deciding to just switch over to play Xbox. I'm half way through a mission in Call of Duty when there's an obnoxious knocking on my door. I throw down the controller and yell, "Coming! God, calm down." The knocking continues even after I yell a response. "I said I was," I start to say as I open the door but stop when I'm greeted by Gale. "Gale", I say sternly, trying to stand as tall as I can to match up to him.

"Time to talk", he says pushing my backwards into my apartment.

"Um, yes, come in. I'd love for you to come in to my apartment", I mumble turning away from him.

"You know I have all the power over you two right now, right? I can go to any media outlet, leak the contract, tell them how fake it was", he says casually. "I could also punch you again multiple times just to let out some anger, but I think Katniss would have my head if I did that now", he mumbles the last part almost as an afterthought.

"And what's that going to do for you?", I ask turning toward him. He has his hands in pockets with his head hung.

"I don't know", he says shrugging, while pacing back and forth. "Give me peace of mind that the public might hate you for something. Give me a reason to justify I was right about telling Katniss not take this contract in the first place. I don't know", he finishes by flailing his hands around.

"Yea, um, okay", I say awkwardly, not knowing how to respond. "Anyways, you want to explain why you barged into my apartment? I know I proposed and, and I'm sorry for that. I just", I pause for a second thinking he might stop me, but he just keeps pacing. "I just needed to convince Caesar that we were a real couple and didn't think much past that. I'm sorry if that did anything to ruin your relationship. I'm sorry. I really am. I never meant to hurt Katniss. Even if she may be annoying", I mumble the last part hoping he doesn't hear.

"You didn't ruin it. And I probably hurt Katniss worse than you ever could", I think I hear him mumble but he's pacing too fast and talking to low.

"What? I didn't quite catch that", I ask to get him to repeat.

"Peeta?" he asks, stopping his pacing. I don't answer him, I just stare giving him the time to talk. "Can you do me a favor? Can you guys tell the media? Madge already has photos of the restaurant incident and I told her not to give that away, but I think she already did. And maybe I guess you two doing so might lessen the blow on Katniss. I can't hurt her anymore", he says sitting down at the table.

"Yea, yea. Wait what?", I question. "Hurt her anymore? What did you do? And why does Madge have a photo?", I ask taking the seat next to him. He contemplates saying something, shakes his head a lot before talking.

"I cheated on Katniss. With Madge. For like the past five months. But Katniss cheated first with your dirty self", he scoffs out and I jerk back in surprise. "That fact however doesn't do shit right now. So, I think in order to lessen the blow on you two, or at least Katniss by not having Madge do it, who is threatening me to expose Katniss or she'll leave me", he says softly. I narrow my eyes at him trying to think of a response to hearing Katniss being cheated on.

"How?", I ask, not fully understanding why he would do this.

"Like I said I cheated on Katniss", he says again more sternly.

"No. No, I heard that. Why did you? How could you cheat on Katniss?", I ask extremely offended at his actions.

"Oh, don't act offended at this. You two were basically dating!", he starts to raise his voice. He takes a large breath in before speaking again. "You've seen the pictures, the interviews etcetera. She used to look at me like that. About two years ago was the last time I saw it", he says staring off into space.

"Oh", is all I manage. I don't know why he's being so polite and not lashing out at me but I'm thankful that he isn't beating me up. "Why don't you just leave Madge if she's threatening to expose us if you don't?", I question and realize how stupid I sound when I say it. If he leaves, the same thing will happen if he doesn't.

"Because I still love Katniss and probably forever will, okay? And I really don't fell like trying to explain my relationship problems with you", he says rolling his eyes before continuing. "So, I need you to tell the media because I think it'll be better for her, alright? I always wanted the best for her. And I think you telling them will be better, okay? Will you do that for me Peeta? Please?", he asks looking up at me.

"Gale, Katniss isn't the only one in this", I start but can clearly see him pleading with his eyes. I shake my head and already regret what I have to say next. "But I will talk to Cato about it."

"Thank you", he says standing.

"Yea, yea", I mumble and follow him toward the door.

"And Peeta?", he asks, turning back toward me.

"Hmm", I say stopping in my tracks.

"Take better care of her for me, will you?", he asks.

"Um, what?", I question not knowing what he means.

"Oh, don't play idiot to this. Like I said I haven't seen that look for two years. And the photo in the elevator? Yea that looked more than real to me. Take care of her, Peeta", he says looking like a lost puppy. He pauses a moment and then turns to leave. I shut the door and stare at it. I don't realize I'm saying anything until I actually hear my words.

"Always", I whisper again and again. I don't know why I'm saying it but I am. I back away from the door slowly and look around my apartment, dumbfounded at what just happened. I meander around for a few minutes trying to decide what to do when I finally pick up my phone from the charger and see the texts and calls I may have missed.

 **CATO: We have a major problem. Please call me.**

 **CATO: Peeta Mellark for the love of God please call me now.**

 **CATO: I didn't want to have to do this but I'm coming over.**

The texts span over the past couple of hours with the last being thirty minutes ago. "Well shit", I curse under my breath and hear a knocking at the door.

"Sorry, I didn't have my phone on me", I start, and Cato just barges right in.

"You've been ignoring my calls and texts for the past forty-eight hours", he starts and stops in his tracks. "This apartment is a mess. What have you been doing?", he questions.

"Trying to not do anything", I mumble out.

"Whatever doesn't matter", he says, scrolling through his phone quietly.

"Are you sure you needed to come over just to scroll through your phone in front of me?", I ask flopping down on the couch.

"I'm trying to find the email I received yesterday from Haymitch. God, calm down", he says and sits down on the couch to the right of me. I roll my eyes and turn the TV on. "Cato, attached is a photo that wasn't confiscated from a guest last night. I am trying to get a hold of Katniss to discuss what she wants to say toward the matter of it. When I have a response, I will let you know. Please ask Peeta what he wants to say incase they ask for his opinion", he reads off the email.

"Can I", I start but am stopped when he raises his finger toward me and starts to read again.

"Cato, I have the response from Katniss and it is as follows: Gale was the ex I broke up with and he came in very drunk, wanting to confess he still had feelings for me and didn't want me to marry Peeta. It isn't great but should get them not to post it, or at least cover us. They said we had until Sunday. Please have something from Peeta", he finishes by handing his phone to me. The photo is taken across the room, at a weird angle of Gale trying to kiss Katniss.

"So, this was the photo Gale was talking about.", I say handing the phone back.

"Gale what? Wait what? Explain", Cato demands.

"Gale stopped by and left about five minutes before you got here and asked if I would confess to the media about Katniss and me and the contract because Madge has a photo. Which he thought was already sent out and obviously it was", I say shrugging my shoulders.

"Peeta, don't you realize what this could do to you if you do?", he asks scooting forward in his seat.

"Well, yes. But I can't let Katniss get hurt worse than what could happen, so I'll do as Gale says and confess to the media. It's gonna suck for me, yea, but I'll get over it", I say practically folding into the couch.

"Alright well that isn't going to happen", Cato say picking his phone up again.

"No, Cato. I don't care what happens to me. As long as I get to play baseball, that is, and I think Plutarch is still okay with me playing so no problem there. What's going to happen is I'll confess, blaming it all on me. I'll say I'm the one that thought of the contract before I got here just so I could see Katniss especially when I heard that this type of thing happens all the time", I say standing, my voice growing angrier as I am finally able to tell Cato how I feel about this whole thing. "We can add that we tricked Haymitch and Katniss into it just to please me. I don't care how bad I look coming out of this. Katniss can't be blamed for this when she did nothing wrong. All she did to start this was sign a paper, like I did.

"You. You did this. You and Haymitch came up with a stupid contract without even consulting with me or even Katniss before it was proposed. And what was I supposed to do? Not sign it? I probably wouldn't have had I known it was Katniss. No way no way in hell would I have. Katniss was too good. Still is. She doesn't deserve me or this. She never did", I yell at him. I sit back down in a huff, crossing my arms.

"Oh, Peeta", Cato sighs out. "I never would have done this. I'm sorry. I was an idiot. A drunken idiot", he says shaking his head.

"Damn right you were. Now you're gonna help get me out of this right?", I plead.

"Yea, yea I'll do my best", he says weakly. He stands slowly and says, "Um, I'll just show myself out."

I close my eyes and shake my head. I hear the door shut and finally able to breathe normally. After the two unexpected visits and my hangover finally subsiding completely, I'm finally able to eat more than cereal. I decide I can cook some pasta quick enough, so I don't have to eat my own arm. I go through the steps in a daze, almost in autopilot, completely tuned out. Boil the water, add some salt, cook the pasta, heat some sauce, add some seasoning, add the pasta to the sauce, top with some fresh cheese, consume.

I clean the kitchen up and realize its only 6pm and have so much anger in me still I decide to try and write out how I want this to go down. I start with who I'll tell, naming the Capitol Buzz as number one, followed by Panem National. Might as well get this spread all across the country, right? I'll of course contact Cato first along with Haymitch and Plutarch about what's going on. I don't want to have to talk to Katniss while we figure out what is going on between us, so I'll leave that up to Haymitch.

Putting off the what for last I decide best that written apology in an email with the contract attached will be the best way to tell them. I then decide that since whomever contacted Haymitch with the Sunday deadline, that I'll do this all tomorrow evening. I'll be traveling for the next three days to District 4 so no other outlet can easily reach out to me for a comment.

I finally land on the what question and stare at a fresh page blankly. I may have been able to spew out the words in anger but being able to carefully rely that the past nine months Katniss and I have been together was fake is going to be difficult. I can't sugar coat it, but I don't exactly want to be too rough. I start with a title, thinking it'll give me some inspiration of where to go. 'Maybe Not Just Another Fake Relationship in the Capitol', is the first title and it makes it sound like I'm openingly confessing to Katniss, which I want to, but I don't think she'll be okay with it. I settle for 'Sorry for the Last Nine Months', thinking what I'll write next will be an apology to everyone who thought we were real, an apology to Katniss, to Gale. Well kinda to him. I did end his relationship after all.

The words follow nicely after and I have about a page of how this happened and briefly explain what Katniss and I are doing now. I avoid any topic of Gale cheating on Katniss but include a close friend of hers snapped the picture, thinking it to be unfair to Gale that Katniss was dating me.

I didn't think I spent that long writing, but I fell my stomach rumble. I look at the clock and see its almost 10pm and opt to call for some sushi. While I wait, I read over my page, make a few edits and decide to send the whole thing to Cato for his opinion. I turn on 'Stranger Things' because I once heard Katniss tell Gale not to watch without her and decide it must be worth watching, while I wait for my sushi. I'm half way through an episode when my sushi arrives.

I down the tray by the time the episode is over, and if on cue my phone dings.

 **CATO: If this is what you want then okay.**

 **PEETA: It's what I want.**

 **CATO: Okay then, I'll speak with Haymitch about it and make sure he informs Katniss.**

 **PEETA: Thank you.**

 **PEETA: Do you think Katniss will be okay with it?**

The three bubbles continually pop up and disappear for five minutes before Cato responds with a lengthy message.

 **CATO: Peeta, I don't know. I hope she will be for your sake and for hers. From you yelling at me earlier, I get why you're mad. I also understand, from me opening the door too early the other day why the tension between you and Katniss wasn't always hatred. You didn't hate being around her, you hated the contract. I should have never put you in this situation. You two should have never reconnected the way Haymitch and I forced you two to. I'm sorry Peeta. I'm sorry for the last nine months. I'm sorry for putting you through this. I will be here for every step of this revealing process. It's gonna suck and be the worst thing you go through, even a season ending-injury won't compare. I'm so sorry, Peeta. I really am.**

I really wasn't expecting much from him. I just wanted approval, but his apology catches me off guard.

 **PEETA: I know Cato. Its okay. Just please never put me through this again.**

 **CATO: Understood Peeta. Get some sleep and finish packing. I'll see you in District 4 in a week.**

I don't respond and flip off the TV. He's right I should get some sleep even if I did sleep past noon and take a mini nap today. I brush my teeth and change into fresh sweatpants and lay down on my bed. I feel weird without a single drop of alcohol in me, but it feels refreshing. With a clear mind, I scroll through my news feed to see what people are saying. I haven't looked in a few days because I couldn't bare to look.

Nothing looks weird or outrageous, mainly just people congratulating me. Even the Panem Baseball League congratulated me and Katniss by posting a picture of us from the All-Star break. We look so in love? Again, its photos like this that confuse me. She's staring directly into my eyes with a soft smile on her face as I hold onto her and look right back into her silver eyes. I was mesmerized that day. I never had anyone I knew wear my jersey, besides my dad. And the sight of her caught me off guard that I practically ran over to her when I saw her. I gave her a kiss on the cheek and the photo captures the moment just after. I think Haymitch forced her knowing that it could be a one-time thing, to wear the jersey of an All-Star.

Her hair was down that day for a change and I briefly remember whispering in her ear that I liked it when she wore her hair down, that it looked better that way. She just shook her head at me, smiled, touched her hand to my cheek and turned around to head to her box seat. I try to shake the memory away, but it keeps creeping back into my mind, creating different endings to that day.

 **"Peet, look. Katniss is over there, in the front", Finn says after nudging me.**

 **"Oh, oh my", I whisper, hoping no one heard me.**

 **"What's wrong?", Finn says obviously hearing me.**

 **"Um, nothing. Nothing's wrong. Just never had a girl wear my jersey before", I say shyly.**

 **"Ah, what a sap!", Thom slaps me on the shoulder. "Go to her, you idiot."**

 **I do as I'm told and jog as casually as I can to her. A small smile creeps on her face as cameras flash. I know she's acting but as I get closer to her, the cameras disappear, and I scoop her up into my arms and spin her around. She playfully hits me to stop and I place her gently down onto the turf. The noise of the crowd slowly fades and slowly it just becomes me and her. I take the small step that separates me from her and gingerly place my hands on her waist. She raises her hands to cup my face and pulls me closer. Our lips meet briefly before she pulls away slightly.**

 **"Peeta, I", she whispers.**

 **"Katniss, its okay. Were the only ones here", I whisper back and lean back in. Our lips again meet slowly, gradually opening up. I swipe my tongue along her lower lip and she allows me to explore her more. Her hands slowly move away from my face down my back, pulling me closer. I don't dare move my hands yet and allow her to guide us were she wants.**

 **She breaks our heated kiss to start kissing down the side of my neck, making her way down ripping the buttons of my jersey open. She makes it all the way to the top of my pants and looks back up for permission. I nod, and she unbuckles and unzips my pants quickly. She strokes my dick a few times over my underwear. I let out a loud moan at the feeling of her hands grazing right over it.**

My eyes fly open and I let go of my semi hard dick that I didn't realize I was holding onto until now. I haven't thought of Katniss like this in a few months and it sickens me just as it did when I was younger. I try to fall asleep to no avail over the fantasy I just had with Katniss and my still present hard on growing more and more as I try not to think about it.

I give up on sleeping and give in to masturbating. I try to think of anything other than Katniss, but I keep circling back to our kisses this past week. Even if they confused me, deep down I think Katniss enjoyed them just as much as I did. I stick to the elevator kiss and work out a new fantasy that has her and me fucking in front of the reporter. I cum with a soft groan when fantasy Katniss tells me to cum inside her. I stroke out the last bits of cum onto my stomach and lie still for what feels like forever. Just as when I was a teenager, I feel disgusted with myself for masturbating to the thought of Katniss. It's even worse now that she's right there, right there in front of me and I can't have her.

I look at the clock and see its just past 1am. I decide to finally get up and clean myself, so I can get some sleep. I wash myself off and splash water in my face. I stare at my reflection in the mirror for a while and shake my head, wishing it didn't have to be like this.

I turn off my bedroom lamp as my phone lights up.

 **KATNISS: Are you awake?**

 **KATNISS: Haymitch told me what your going to do tomorroe**

 **KATNISS: Do you really want to do this? I kinda figured Madge had took the photo when Gale and I broke up. Because get this.**

 **KATNISS: Gale cheated on me with her**

 **KATNISS: How despicable right?**

 **KATNISS: But then again, I cheated on him with you so I guess it doesn't matter.**

Against my better judgement I decide to respond tonight instead of waiting until tomorrow

 **PEET: I know**

 **PEETA: Gale told me earlier. He's the one who asked me to confess. He wants the best for you**

I wait a few moments before I send my next text as I see the text bubbles appear and disappear. When they disappear for longer than a minute I hit send

 **PEETA: I want the best for you too and I think me confessing and blaming myself does that. I agree with Gale that me confessing about it rather than an outsider will lessen the blow on both of us. I'm sorry Katniss. For this whole thing. If I could I would go back to May and change everything.**

I flip my phone over not wanting to see if she replies. I turn myself away and shut my eyes, hoping sleep comes soon.

* * *

 **AN: Next chapter will flash forward a little bit, probably about 3 or 4 days when Peeta makes it to Spring Training. I have a few days coming up so hopefully I'll get a majority of it done then! Don'f forget to fav, follow, review!**


	10. Everything Has Changed

**AN: so this chapter took a lot longer than it should have but each time I would write, couldn't focus long enough to string together decent paragraphs and such. It is however the longest chapter so I hope that makes up for it! This chapter and quite possibly the next few chapters are going to be split POV. Enjoy! (more notes at the end!)**

* * *

'Sorry for the Past Nine Months'

First off, I am sorry for what I have to write. I am sorry to those that we led on, hurt, and flat out lied to. I am sorry for dragging this out for so long. I am sorry for allowing it to go on as long as it did. It should have never happened like this and for that I am sorry. I am sorry to her and those she loved. I am sorry to my family, teammates and close friends. I am sorry to the persons that were hurt the most by this. I am sorry. I am sorry sounds fake to me by now, but this has to end. Right here. Right now.

This could be for many things, but this apology and explanation are for the wrong doing of Katniss Everdeen and me. 

For the past nine months, she and I have engaged in a relationship to uphold a contract that was presented to us by both of our agents to better our careers. I don't need to go into details, but we were both at low points, her modeling at a stand still and me moving to a new city. To up our likings we agreed to date, without knowing who the other was before we each signed on. 

We did however have a history. We did go to the same schools. I did trip over her in kindergarten. I did break my arm. I didn't however keep in contact with her. We didn't speak once I started baseball. There were very few days I thought of her throughout my school years into college and beyond.

I am sorry to Katniss for this having to happen the way it did. I would blame my agent for this, but he didn't know of our history. Which isn't much, but enough for Katniss to not like me throughout this whole ordeal. Again, I wish this went differently, but it happened the way it did, and I can't undo it.

My engagement to Katniss this past week was a thoughtless and careless mistake in an attempt to make sure Caesar didn't rat us out. However, recent events at Captiol Bistro involving Katniss and her ex-boyfriend Gale Hawthrone, bring to light how bad fake relationships hurt people. A close friend of Katniss has a photo of the incident and is sadly holding it over us. I didn't want to have to reveal our lie so soon but in order to both protect Katniss and I, I had to do it now.

I never wanted this to hurt anyone. I never wanted this to hurt anyone.I am sorry for hurting anyone. I am sorry for lying to everyone.

As of now Katniss and I are not seeing one another. Nor are we speaking. At this time, we feel it is best to stay away from one another to heal from what we were put through. Especially with my upcoming season and her studying for her advanced sommelier exam.

Again, I am sorry for the past nine months

Sincerely Peeta Mellark

(Peeta's POV)

WEEK 1: Friday February 24

I've settled into my one-bedroom house in Seaview and have been enjoying some much-needed alone time away from teammates, especially Finnick, and literally everyone else. I attend scheduled lift sessions per Coach Beetee's orders and then avoid any and all press conferences since I'm technically not supposed to be down here until tomorrow. Knowing that I decided to pour myself some whiskey, pull out my sketch book and pencils and set myself up for a sunset drawing session on my balcony.

I haven't thought of Katniss in a while and I know next week when I start, some idiot reporter is going to bring everything up and I actually might lose it. I try to lose myself in sketching, but I can't seem to get the orange hue right and become increasingly flustered. I'm so used to being able to perfectly capture any landscape without fail but since moving to the Capitol I can't seem to do it. Sketching sunsets were my favorite especially with the way the oranges, yellows, purples and sometimes pink meld together to make one seamless landscape. I guess since Katniss wore that stunning orange ombre dress on that fucking rooftop, I can't get the colors to blend correctly.

"Fuck", I curse loudly as my pencil point breaks forcing me to stop. I lean back into my chair and cover my face with my hands massaging my temple. Without even trying she invades my thoughts and I reactively throw the sketch book over the edge and stalk back inside for more whiskey.

I stay out there awhile watching the last of the beachgoers straggle back on Seaview Ave to their homes for dinner, drinks or both. I know there's some type of secret notion that no one is allowed to pass on Victors Place during spring training except for us baseball players so when I spot a person creeping around in the bushes across from the left side of my balcony I become wary. The light is just fading, and the street lights flick on giving off a shadow of the man that is indeed in the bushes with what looks like a camera.

"Well shit", I curse and sip my whiskey slowly. I don't know what he's going to get out of me sitting on my balcony sipping whiskey but if he wants a picture, whatever. I pretend to look off in the distance and see flashes go off periodically. I shake my head slowly and twirl my glass slowly on the table. I feel the buzz rush through my body and finally relax again even if he may still be there. I also remember I threw my book over and don't want that stupid reporter to get ahold of it, so I stupidly make my way down the stairs onto the sidewalk.

Within seconds, I'm being blinded by camera flashes from three maybe four reporters who all are shouting questions. "Peeta! How could you do that to Katniss?", "How are you feeling?", "Why propose?", "Why are you avoiding the media?". Their questions grow more eager as I ignore them and search for the book that I think landed in the bushes. After parting the leaves, I find it upside down and open to the exact page of my horrible sunset. I dust it off and push past the still questioning reporters, with their cameras flashing.

"Please just fuck off", I say and raise a middle finger to them knowing they can't use that imagine. I smirk and turn away from them and take the stairs two at a time. I slam shut my door and shake my head at how awful that was. I shoot a quick text to Cato about what happened and close out of it just to stare at the phone notification again. I haven't listened to it and don't plan on it. Even if it may be a stupid butt dial, I don't want any contact with Katniss.

(Katniss POV)

Session 1: Monday February 27

"Let's start by introducing ourselves", the therapist says casually. He's wearing a black suit with a gold tie, which is the only pop of color on him. I'm thankful he's the one Haymitch signed me up with because everyone else in the brochure screamed Capitol hipster with their dyed hair, facial piercings, and outrageous clothing choices. He does have his ear pierced but only has a black stud in. I look around the room as a distraction because I don't think I can speak right now, already regretting the conversation I had with Joanna that led me here.

The room is almost monotone white with hints of greys and silvers. The couch is white, his chair is white, his desk is white but the pillows are silver and so is his pen. The window treatments are silver and the curtains are grey. I start to feel claustrophobic in this seemingly bright and open space. "It's okay, Katniss to not want to speak at out first session about anything except yourself. But I do need you to talk. That's how a conversation works", he says evenly. There's no hint of rush in his voice and its slightly calming.

"Don't you already know everything about me?", I say quietly, rubbing my hands on my jeans nervously.

"I have a good amount of information, like your birthday, age, sex, when you made the appointment, a brief description of why, and most importantly your name. But that doesn't tell me who you are on the inside", he says. I start to breathe easier at the possibility that he really will be neutral in all of this.

"Okay, well um", I start but my nerves stop me from saying anymore.

"Start with your name, where you're from and what you do. Think of it as your mantra", he suggests. When I don't reply he speaks up again. "Okay, I'll start. My name is Cinna Lucius, but please just call me Cinna", he says with a smile. "I'm originally from the Capitol, well technically. I grew up just on the outskirts and slowly made my way into the inner circle. I don't normally refer to myself as a therapist, more of a life coach or a professional advice giver which is what I am during the day but a father to two beautiful girls at night. Now that you know a little about me, will you share a little about yourself?", he asks again and I'm starting to lose why I am even came here as my eye dart around the room for something to ease myself but can't seem to do it. "Katniss, we have an hour here together and if were going to spend it in silence then we will. Silence does speak louder sometimes but it doesn't get us anywhere", he says breaking the silence and me out of my daydream. He seems like a normal person, so I decide it will be okay.

"My name is Katniss Everdeen. I grew up in District 12 and am now living here in the inner circle of the Capitol after attending Panem University at Capitol Mountain. I work as a sommelier at Capitol Bistro and have been there for almost five years. I'm also a model", I say softly, refusing to look at him.

"Great Katniss. That sounds wonderful. Do you like your job at Capitol Bistro?", he questions. I tense at it but answer him anyways.

"I do. I really like it", I say.

"Now how did you get into modeling?", he asks and I think I flinch because he immediately responses with an apology. "I'm sorry if that's sensitive but I need a background on you so I have some where to start".

"It's not as sensitive as you would think. But its just messy. I was approached by my current agent a few years ago. It was a side job just to make ends meet but last year it got me into why I'm here.", I say shaking my head.

"Haymitch Abernathy right?", he asks politely.

"How did you know?", I question back but then remember he's the one that made the appointment. "Oh never mind", I say softly and am acknowledged by Cinna with a head nod.

"Now I don't want to get into any more of that. I want to know about Katniss Everdeen. What gets you up in the morning? What made you get into wine?", he questions moving on. He doesn't look up at me and for the first time his pen moves across his pad of paper.

"My family. My family normally is what gets me up in the morning", I say looking out the window.

"And who are your family members? Sisters? Brothers?", he questions casually.

"I, uh. I have a sister. Her name is Primrose. She goes to school in District 4 to study medicine and then eventually she'll go to med school", I say finally able to turn toward him. He's stopped writing and is looking at me with a soft smile.

"That's wonderful. What about your parents?", he asks, and it strikes a small nerve in me, but I press on.

"My mother, um, she used to be a nurse but is now in a care facility for depression. Prim and I placed her there when I moved permanently to the Capitol", I say softly and I can feel tears prick my eyes as I know is following question. So before he can ask it I speak about it. "She's there because my father died unexpectedly in a car crash when I was 16. Prim was 11", I can feel tears flow down my cheeks. He reaches for the tissues and I gratefully take one.

"I'm sorry to hear that Katniss", he starts but I shake my head at the apology.

"You didn't do anything. You don't have to be sorry for me", I say, and I think I see him frown at my rejection of sympathy. "I had to grow up fast after the accident. My mom stopped working so I took on random jobs to help make ends meet. I was very thankful I got the scholarship I did because I couldn't stay in 12. There was no way", I say shaking my head, thinking my life could have been a lot more different if I had decided to stay in 12 instead. "I just, there was no way. So, I left. And didn't really look back. I continued to work hard, help my sister pay for school, save for med school and pay for my mother's treatments. I haven't been back to 12 now in over four years. When I moved my sister into college and my mother to a permeant care facility in District 4."

"So both your mom and sister are in District 4", he asks and I nod my answer. "When was the last time you saw them?"

"I saw them over Thanksgiving. I got my choice of holidays off from work last year and I chose Thanksgiving", I say quietly remembering what transpired at that very awkward meal.

"And how was that?"

"It was stressful", I sigh out.

"And why was that?"

"You said you had a brief description of why I was here. Read that and figure it out", I say frantically.

"I can't be the one to draw the picture and paint it too, Katniss. I need you to tell me", he says looking at me thoughtfully. I roll my eyes his stupid metaphor or whatever you may call it and decide I should at least tell him who was there.

"It was me, my mother, Prim, Gale, Joanna and", I stop short of her name and take a big inhale in. "Madge".

"Ok. And what happened", he asks.

"Did you even read what I had Haymitch send over?", I ask sarcastically.

"I did", Cinna confirms.

"Then you know why it was stressful with all of them", I say failing my arms up.

"No. No I don't, Katniss. It says here "Katniss Everdeen would like to make an appointment to discuss stressful relationships that have put a strain on her friendships, her family and herself. These relationships include a real, four-year relationship with Gale Hawthrone and a fake, nine-month relationship with Peeta Mellark. She is seeking help in recovering from her break up and to figure out how she feels toward Peeta Mellark", he says never looking up toward me, and then jots down whatever he's thinking.

"So, you can assume why it was stressful. I don't get why I have to hash that out", I say quickly, annoyed that I have to talk about the last time I flat out lied to my family about Gale.

"Because I want to know what you were thinking, Katniss", he says a little more forcibly then before. "Look", he says clearing his throat, "normally the first session I try to understand how you think and how you feel through certain situation. But seeing that you are even aprenishive to that, were going to try something else. Tell me about Prim."

"Uh, well, she's 21 going on 22. She's really smart, wants to be a doctor", I pause and watch Cinna scribble whatever he thought was purposeful for me. "She, um, is the spitting image of my mom. Blonde hair, blue eyes, slim figure. We talk a lot but, um" I hesitate as I debate telling him about the Gale situation.

"Katniss, this is a safe space. Whatever you say here will not leave the door, if that is what you are afraid of", he says gracefully.

"Um, I told her I wasn't actually dating Peeta and have, um had been dating Gale for almost 4 years", I say, avoiding eye contact with him.

"And how did she react to that?", he questions.

"Not well. She was upset and asked why I had been dating Gale. And I told her we broke up because of my fake relationship with Peeta", I say slightly annoyed. He nods his head and takes a breath in before asking the dreaded question.

"And why did Gale and you break up?", he asks.

"Peeta proposed, I accepted, Gale lashed out, I confirmed he cheated, and now I'm here", I sigh out in one breath.

"He what?", he asks almost offended. I look at my watch and see only thirty minutes have passed and realize I still have to answer his questions for thirty minutes.

"He cheated on me. But I was cheating on him with Peeta so I guess it was justified for him", I lean back into the chair and close my eyes determined to not talk again this session.

"Katniss? I know we've allotted an hour, but I can tell this wasn't easy for you to speak about. I have one last question for you before I let you go", he says, and I sit back up at the realization that this is almost over. "When was the last time you talked to Gale or Peeta?", he asks raising his eyebrows.

"Its almost been two weeks since I talked to Gale and about a week and half since I talked to Peeta", I admit not wanting to tell him I left a voicemail on Peeta's phone only a week ago.

"Great. Now your homework is to continue to not have interaction with either of them. NO texts, no calls, no nothing. Got it?", he demands, and I nod my head in agreement, knowing it will be easy with Peeta half way across the country and Gale nonexistent in my life. "Great. For the first month we will meet twice a week and then for the first 6 months once a week. After that, well, we'll get to that when we get there", he says smiling. "I will see you in three days at 11:30, Katniss".

Peeta's POV

WEEK 2: Wednesday March 1

"Why did you enter into the fake relationship to begin with?", the first reporter I point to asks. I roll my eyes at him obviously annoyed. I glance toward Coach Beetee and Cato who both nod their encouragement for my disclosure. I take a large breath in before answering.

"I, uh, well. I slept with someone I wasn't supposed to. Cato, my agent, came up with a contract with Katniss's agent for us to date for the season. That was extended because of how good the publicity around us both was", I say firmly trying not to get angry.

"Wait. Just so I'm clear. You entered into this "fake relationship" because you slept with someone you weren't supposed to? How does that make any sense?", the reporter questions further. I can already see the headlines now if I get angry over this, so I close my eyes and count to three before opening my mouth again.

"It doesn't. And it doesn't make what happened the last nine months okay? But I'm not here to dwell on why it happened. I just want to move forward from it and I hope the same for Katniss", I say avoiding eye contact with anyone. When the reporter doesn't respond with another question, I look up to every single reporter having their hand up. "If the question isn't baseball related, then I'm not answering it", I demand forcefully and see every single one go down except for one ladies. "Yes?", I ask pointing to her, hopeful she ask something regarding the upcoming season.

"What have you done in the off season to help improve yourself for the upcoming season?", she asks shyly.

"Ah, well I've trained with Finnick Odair almost everyday since Thanksgiving. His style of workout is a little different from mine and on most days where his workouts didn't almost kill me," I laugh a little before continuing, "I actually felt myself growing mentally and physically strong. I have a lot to thank him for, for that", I say nodding my thanks for her question. "Anyone else?", I ask and more hands pop up. I take the risk of pointing to another and am relieved all attention has gone away from my fake relationship.

I get through the rest of the interview without another question popping up and Cato says he admires how well I did not to blow up at the first reporter. "Well you did tell me you'd have my head if you did", I say rolling my eyes.

"Yea, well, I didn't really mean that", he chuckles. "Alright well, first spring game tomorrow for you from what Beetee told me. And before I leave can I ask you something?", he asks with a stern look.

"Um, yea, sure", I say a little hesitantly. Before he can respond there's someone tapping my shoulder. I turn and am greeted by the reporter who asked what I did in the offseason.

"Yes? Do you need something?", I ask politely trying to keep my voice even.

"Um, I just wanted to say thank you. You were the first person to actually call on me ever and I felt the need to thank you for that", she speaks softly and I have to lean down to hear her.

"Oh, you're welcome!", I say with a smile. "What's you name?", I ask, extending my hand out.

"Mockingjay. Rue Mockingjay", she says confidently, shaking my hand firmly.

"Cato, can you make sure Rue Mockingjay of?", I start but don't know where she works.

"Oh, I work for District 11 Gazette", she smiles brightly.

"Ah. Cato, can you make sure Rue Mockingjay of District 11 Gazette is at my next press conference?", I ask back toward him. I don't know where it came from because I never ask for specific reporters to be present, but their always the same.

"Absolutely", Cato nods and types it into his phone.

"Great! I expect great questions next time", I smile and shake her hand one last time. She practically prances off with a smile on her face. Relieved I actually did something good for the day, I turn back to Cato. "What did you want to ack me?"

"Oh, um, have you spoken to Katniss in the last two weeks?" he asks quietly.

"No", I say flatly.

"Okay good. Haymitch wanted", he starts but I stop him.

"Why would Haymitch care if I talked to Katniss?", I question a little too loudly because I see some heads turn at my question.

"I've said too much", he whispers trying to hush me. He must see the anger in my eyes and pushes me into the hallway.

"What the hell Cato? You can't just say that Haymitch was asking and then not tell me why. What is going on?", I ask firmly. He takes a large breath in and pauses for a while contemplating if he should tell me I guess. "Cato, seriously. Just tell me"

"Katniss is in therapy. I don't know the exact details but Haymitch wanted to", he starts but I don't let him finish as I storm out at hearing the words of Katniss is in therapy. I feel my chest tighten as I keep my head down and try to push past reporters and out on to Victors Avenue. My house is only a few blocks from our training facility and I decide to run instead of waiting for Cato for a ride.

I don't immediately go home and end up walking and then sitting on the beach for an hour to watch the sunset, hoping to clear my mind. I dreadfully decide to venture home when the light fades and my mind still filled with thoughts of Katniss.

When I get inside my house I briefly look at my phone and over that stupid notification that's been mocking me for two weeks straight. I can't contemplate long as an email from Cato with a link pops up. I immediately hit the notification and click the link. 'Is Peeta already moving on from his fake relationship?', reads the article title. "What the fuck?", I mumble and read on. It goes into some weird details of how I was "flirting" with Rue. I'm so enraged over what was said, I throw my phone across the room hit the wall by the TV.

"Thank fuck", I breath out realizing I didn't do serious damage to my phone. I try to calm myself by pacing and realize it isn't working so I make the ration decision to call the one person I shouldn't.

"Peeta?", her voice is slightly strained, and sounds hurt. I can't bring myself to talk so I hang up quickly and decide to call Finnick.

"Are you okay?", he asks not bothering with hello.

"Of course, I'm not okay!", I yell at him through the phone and then I think I hear Finnick respond with 'I'll be right over", as I continue to pace around the living room. I start pulling at my hair and my thoughts are so jumbled I can't think. "Aghhhhh", I scream out my frustration over Katniss. I must have forgot to lock the door because when I turn around Finn is standing in the doorway.

"You're going to talk to me now then, right?", he questions not moving from where he stands.

"I don't think I can", I shout at him, continuing to pace.

"Alright then. First, you're going to have to calm down", he says casually and attempts to touch me. I shrug him off and move around him into the kitchen. "If I know you well enough, alcohol isn't going to help this" he chides, I assume following me.

"Yea, well its going to help me not want to punch a wall", I mumble, pouring myself a shot. I turn around sipping my whiskey as I watch Finn shake his head. "What?", I question sternly.

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?", he asks.

"Did you see the latest article about me?", I ask back.

"No?", he says almost as a question. I unlock my phone and hand it over to him. "Oh", he says in slight shock.

"And Katniss is in therapy", I say into my glass. Finn doesn't even look up from the article or react to the second problem I have. "You're not shocked about Katniss in therapy?", I ask a little angrily.

"Um, no. I already knew that", he says continuing to read the article. "Also, this article doesn't have any merit, other than the picture. You shouldn't worry about it too much", he says shrugging and hands my phone back.

"You, you knew?", I ask appalled that he knew and didn't tell me.

"Cato asked me yesterday if you had contacted Katniss. I told him I didn't know because you've barely talked to me in the past two weeks. I asked why, and he told me that Katniss was in therapy and was instructed not to talk to you. Haymitch was just checking in apparently, trying to do it discreetly but Cato didn't know how else to do it other than trying to go through me. Since I didn't know, he told me not to tell you as he would talk to you later", he says flatly.

"Perfect. Just perfect!", I say sarcastically. I down the rest of my whiskey and turn to pour more.

"Will you now talk to me about Katniss? Or at least how you feel about this? What's going through your head?", he asks in rapid secession.

"I don't now how I feel, and a lot is going through my head", I say pointedly, ignoring my freshly poured glass. "Is this my fault she's there? Did I do something wrong?", I ask shaking my head.

"Peeta I don't think so. But I doubt it's completely because of you. Didn't you say she broke up with Gale? She's most likely there for that", Finn suggests half-heartedly.

"Yea, yea maybe", I say trying to read him for any other possibilities. "Do you think I should talk to someone?", I ask him.

"You already know how you feel about Katniss. Trying to figure out something you already know with someone professional isn't going to do anything for you", he says.

"Right, right", I confirm with a frown. We're quiet for a while, me looking at my whiskey and Finn leaning against the counter, not saying a word. "I really like her Finn", I admit. "I know I already told you, but I really like her and want something real. Can we recover from this? Do you think something could happen between us?", I plead.

"I don't know. Maybe?", he questions. "If you do your going to have to work like hell to prove to both of you that you guys are worth it. That you aren't fake, that you actually mean everything you say, everything you do".

"Is that even going to be possible?", I ask quietly, disappointed that this may never even happen.

"Again, I don't know. You're going to have to talk to Katniss about it. But from the sounds of it that's not going to be possible while you're here", he says politely. "Are you going to be okay? Can I go back to, uh", he stops his question short, I guess in fear of triggering me over him having someone.

"Yea, I'll be fine. Go back to Annie", I say nodding my head, frowning slightly. He nods and moves toward the door.

"Call me if you need anything Peeta", he says and walks out the door. I stand in the kitchen a few moments longer contemplating what to do next. I stare at the notification again on my phone and seriously consider listening to it but decide not to only because it might want to call her again. As much as I want to, I have to help her not talk to me.

Katniss POV

Session 2: Thursday March 2

"How are you today Katniss?", Cinna asks me as I sit down across from him.

"I'm fine", I say flatly.

"Well I guess I should be delighted by your presence, even if you are just fine. I didn't think you were going to return after our first session", he says, staring my down with a smile on his face.

"Why?", I ask, confused as to why I wouldn't show up.

"Our first session wasn't great. You made progress but there's always a higher chance of patients that won't return when then they are just as stubborn as you were", he says. "Now have you had any contact with Gale?", he asks looking down, picking up his pen.

"No", I state firmly. I don't want him to ask the next part of the question because I'm going to have to lie.

"How about Peeta?", he asks continuing to look at his paper.

"No?", I say trying to lie as best as possible, but I don't think I succeed as Cinna looks up immediately.

"No?", he questions with his eyebrows raised.

"Well, technically no", I say shyly.

"What do you mean by technically no?", he questions again, never breaking eye contact with me.

"He, uh, called me last night", I admit, ready to rip off the bandage that is Peeta Mellark.

"And?", he presses forward on the matter.

"And he didn't say anything and hung up", I say flatly, looking away from him.

"How did that make you feel?", he asks politely.

"Uh, what?", I question and perk back up at his question.

"Peeta's call. How did that make you feel?", he asks again.

"Um, I don't know? I wasn't paying attention really to that", I state trying to remember anything from last night. I know I had downed a few glasses of wine before, so I just answered on a whim, I guess slightly surprised, yet hurt.

"Okay, lets start with what you were doing when he called", he presses forward.

"I was drinking wine", I say.

"How much had you had at that point?"

"Um probably three glasses? I was working on my fourth I think", I state quickly, trying to rack my brain for anything.

"How often do you drink Katniss?", he asks, slightly concerned.

"And what does that have to do with anything?", I ask, offended that he would even mention that.

"I'm trying to asses how intoxicated you were Katniss. I'm not here to judge. I'm simply trying to figure you out", he states.

"Often. I drink often, Cinna. So, I was feeling the effects at that point, but I wasn't overly intoxicated. Happy?", I say sarcastically, hoping for him to move on.

"I'm glad you told me. Now back to Peeta's call. Do you remember saying anything to him?", he asks, ignoring my slight outburst and scribbles something down.

"I said Peeta? and then he hung up. That was it", I say, shaking my head.

"Would you like to tell me now how that made you feel Katniss?", he questions. I remain silent for a while, staring at the ground. I'm thankful Cinna is very patience because he doesn't break into my silence.

"I, I was hurt by it I think? But I also think I was happy that he called? I don't know", I mumble and only hear Cinna write on his notepad.

"Great. Thank you for sharing Katniss", he states. "Okay, lets continue from last session. So, I have down that Gale cheated on you and you feel that he was justified because of your fake relationship with Peeta, correct?", he asks, looing at me over his glasses.

"Wait, you're just going to ignore that I failed my homework of not talking to Peeta?", I ask, confused as to why I wasn't reprimanded or something.

"I can't control your life, Katniss. I'm here to give you advice and help talk you through everything. If you don't take my advice, I can't do much about that", he says firmly. His response shocks me a little, and I can feel myself trust Cinna a little more at his honesty. "Can we continue with Gale cheating on you?"

"Um yea, yea. That's fine", I say and wait for Cinna to speak but he's obviously left this up to me to start the story. "So, Gale cheated on me but like I said I was cheating", I start but Cinna raises his hand, so I stop.

"Don't go there. Tell me about Gale cheating on you first. I know there are two parts of this story and I want only Gale's first", he says, and I nod my head at his request.

"Gale cheated on me with my friend Madge", I hear myself say. "I kinda of figured something was up in November when Peeta and I's contract was extended. Gale left for two weeks and when he returned I thought I saw a hickey on his neck", I say shaking my head at the memory of that day. "I should have said something to him, but I was afraid of losing him, so I didn't. Which is probably the biggest regret I have", I can feel my eyes prick with tears at the thought of losing my best friend of four years to a silly mistake.

"Now you can tell me about how you feel like you cheated on Gale", he says, nodding his head for encouragement.

"I, uh", I start and wipe away the tears that formed away before talking again. "I signed a contract back last May for a fake relationship to Peeta Mellark to help my mom and sister pay their bills and I didn't think anything of it then. But now if I was told I would lose two of my best friends then I wouldn't have signed it.

"The worst part of this all is that I might actually like that guy I thought I hated all my life. And I hate that it took a proposal a few weeks ago to kick start all of this. Now he's districts away, were broken up and I'm in therapy. Maybe accepting Gale's proposal last year wouldn't have led to any of this", I say shaking my head.

"Gale proposed to you? And yet you were in a very public relationship with Peeta?", Cinna questions and I realize I left one of the most important parts of the story.

"Gale and I kept our relationship very secret. Or at least as secret as possible. Haymitch wrote up the contract with Peeta's agent, Cato, not knowing about Gale. He said he would have never offered if he knew", I say.

"Yet you accepted it anyway?", Cinna questions, almost judging me.

"I thought you weren't here to judge me?", I ask back.

"I'm not judging, Katniss. I need to know why and if by my tone of voice gave way to you thinking I was judging, please know I'm shocked over what is going on", he says.

"Whatever. Doesn't matter I guess. I took it because it was extra money for my family", I say flatly. Cinna is quiet for a while, writing everything down. The quiet sends my mind into a frenzy of thoughts. "Do you think", I start saying and stop myself from asking.

"Do I think what?", Cinna questions.

"No, it's stupid", I say, turning to look out the window.

"Nothing you say is stupid, Katniss. Everything has value and meaning", he states. I turn back to him and I take a deep breathe in as I finally speak about how I think I feel about Peeta.

"Could it have been possible that I signed the contract because somewhere deep down I knew I liked Peeta and I knew Gale and I would never work out?", I ask and see Cinna shift uncomfortable in his seat. "See? Stupid", I confirm and turn back away from him.

"The subconscious does have a funny way of showing itself sometimes. So, it could be possible", he says, and I think I hear concern in his voice. "What do you mean by it would never work with Gale?", he asks after I refuse to break the silence.

"Gale wanted marriage and children. I don't want that. I just wanted to be with my best friend forever. But he never got that around his head nor do I think he ever will", I say sadly. "He was so good to me. Respected me with everything else, except that."

"And now about your liking Peeta", he says ignoring everything I just said about Gale.

"I don't know about that. I always thought he was jerk, even during the contract he acted like a jerk around me. But after we talked after the engagement, I guess him being a jerk was because he couldn't actually be with me. So, his revenge on me was to drive me crazy", I say. "And it worked pretty god damn well. But", I start and try to collect my thoughts before moving on.

"But what?", Cinna questions.

"In the beginning when we kissed it wasn't anything. I was acting, and I thought I was pretty good at it because no know questioned us", I explain. "But after a while, I think I actually started enjoying kissing Peeta. It didn't just become habit like Haymitch said it would. I actually looked forward to it and allowed Peeta to kiss me more.

"Our most recent kisses though are the reason I'm really fucking confused over him. They were different. Felt different, like he wasn't just kissing me because the cameras were around. Like he actually meant it. And I would kiss back because I enjoyed it. I was so dazed at one point and I don't even know what I'm saying", I finish saying, throwing my hands up in confusion.

"That, to me at least, sounds like you have feelings toward Peeta", Cinna says. He doesn't follow up with anything but lets his statement hang in the air.

"Yea, yea maybe I do", I say quietly, at the conclusion he just came to.

"Can you tell me more about Peeta?", Cinna asks, after I'm silent for a while.

"He's the star baseball player of the Careers. He's, uh I don't know where to start with this", I say.

"How about you tell me how you met?", he suggests. I relay the story to him, adding in some of the details Peeta told me a few weeks ago.

"How did that make you feel when he told you he would listen to you sing?", he asks. Out of all of that Cinna chooses my singing? I cock my head to the side and furrow my brows at his question and try to remember how I felt.

"Um, I was shocked. Because he also confessed he had feelings toward me in one long winded release of truth. Then I practically yelled at him for making me hate him", I say.

"And why do you hate him?", Cinna asks, continuing his investigation into Peeta and with each question I feel myself became a little angrier at Peeta for having to be here.

"I just do! I always have! It was just something I got used to throughout school", I practically yell at him. "Or at least I thought I hated him. Maybe it was always just a childish thing to hate him because he ruined my dandelion patch all those years ago. He never really apologized, we never talked, and I watched from a far and thought he was becoming more and more of a jerk as he got better at baseball."

"Was there any merit to you thinking he was a jerk? Did he do anything specifically to you?", Cinna asks, interrupting me before I could continue.

"No, nothing", I sigh out.

"Then I don't understand. How can you hate someone if they haven't done anything to you?", he asks, with confusion in his voice. And rightfully so. I don't even know why I've always hated Peeta and thought I always would.

"I mean he just looked like he was a jerk. I don't know", I say throwing my head into my hands, defeated and confused about what we just discussed.

"Just because someone looks like a jerk, doesn't make them a jerk Katniss. You also shouldn't still hate Peeta for tripping over you and ruining your dandelion patch", he says pointedly.

"I know", I mumble out with my head still in my head.

"Hey now. Lift your head up", Cinna says, and I do so moments later. He's smiling when I look up. A soft smile, like he's sympathetic to all of this. "You've done great today Katniss. Now your homework for next session will be", he says but I stop him.

"Yea, not to talk to Peeta or Gale, got it", I say standing.

"Um, actually I was going to suggest the opposite with Peeta", Cinna says, and I feel myself jerk backwards at the suggestion. "Just one phone call. Just see how's he's doing. Got it?"

"Got it", I mumble and slam the door shut.

* * *

 **AN: Please please please let me know if anything is confusing or possibly inaccurate because I have horrible memory..Feel free to review, fave and/or follow!**


	11. Shake It Off

**a/n: okay don't hate me because this took forever to write...work got really busy and life got really complicated but on the bright side this chapter is the longest so far!.. sorry for any grammar mistakes, im not perfect as always. Do pay attention to font changes, just below is Peeta dream so therefore italic and bold, Katniss has a flashback so just italic. More notes at the end, happy reading!**

* * *

Week 3: Monday March 3 (Peeta's POV)

 ** _"Katniss", I hiss out, as she makes her way down my body. She's on top of me as I lay on the couch._**

 ** _"What?", she asks with a mischievous grin. She continues her descent, placing kisses on each of my abdominal muscles. I can see her hesitate slightly above the waist band of my boxers but only briefly. She some how gracefully pulls them off and my erection springs free. Her eyes go wide but her pupils dilate as she takes in the sight of me. "Wow", she breathes out slightly._**

 ** _I feel a shiver race through my body at her words. "Katniss", I hiss out again as she strokes me slowly up and down. She leans down toward me, stopping inches above my face._**

 ** _"Again, I ask what?", she whispers, and her head promptly falls to the side of my neck. She continues to stroke me, and I can feel the pleasure build. Her strokes are slow and methodically. She picks up speed and the friction starts to hurt so I stop her with my hand. She lifts her head back up and I find her lips, pulling her closer to me. I can feel her hand come free which allows me to slow our kissing down, drawing out each second, letting me taste every bit of her mouth, lips, and neck._**

 ** _I attempt to gracefully flip her, but the couch is small, and she almost ends up kneeing me in the crotch. We both nervously laugh it off as we both settle into our new positions._**

 ** _Katniss mysteriously went from a shirt to no shirt without me touching her. I try to blink it away but the edges of her become blurry. I continue on and beginning to suckle on her right breast and I'm rewarded with a groan from her._**

 ** _I try to move to her left breast but can't seem to find it. I shake my head and find myself thrusting into someone from behind on a bed. I don't recognize the hair but the tattoo on the left shoulder is vaguely familiar. I slow my movements as I begin to look around and realize where I am._**

 ** _"Peeta, don't stop", I hear being begged,_** which is the last thing I remember before waking up.

I bolt straight up in bed and try to slow my breathing. My dream had slowly turned from being with Katniss to the nightmare that started this all. I swing my legs over the side of the bed and try to steady myself. I half stumble, half walk to the bathroom and relieve myself and then splash water on my face. With both hands on the sink, I look into mirror.

"Pull yourself together, Mellark", I say to the mirror. "It was just a dream", I sigh out. "A really, really good dream. A dream that was fucking ruined by that stupid mistake", I mumble out, still staring at myself in the mirror. I rub my face as I turn back and head for my bed. I lay down, trying to get comfortable, but give up when I realize sleep won't be happening anytime soon.

I decide to check the time and am thankful that its only just after 2 am. Just as I'm about to set down my phone, a message comes in from Katniss. Her messages have been more frequent lately along with some missed calls. I've done pretty well so far avoiding any contact with her, but it's becoming increasing harder as she keeps insisting that we talk. I hesitate my thumb over the messaging icon and decide to hell with everything and open it anyway.

 **KATNISS: I know it's late there, but I really need to talk to you.**

The typing bubbles are still present, but I decide to see this through, even if I'm still undecided if I'll respond.

 **KATNISS: Well since my next session is tomorrow, and I need to actually have a conversation with you, I might as well tell you everything. I decided to see a therapist. Talk things over with someone from a neutral perspective. He gave me the assignment of having a conversation with you and well I already fucked up the first one by answering your phone call last week. Well kinda of… Anyways you're probably asleep but if you could at least message me back so I have something to talk about, that would be great.**

Her second message surprises me a little both by her honesty and what she is asking me. I want to respond but don't know how, so I just start a conversation, ignoring everything else she just said.

 **PEETA: Hey**

 **PEETA: What did you want to talk about?**

 **KATNISS: Okay, honestly thought you were asleep and that you wouldn't even reply**

 **KATNISS: But anything really, I guess.**

 **PEETA: You have such little faith in me lol**

 **KATNISS: Well you haven't responded to me so I didn't think you would now..**

 **PEETA: Okay first off true, second off Cato told me that Haymitch asked him if you contacted me, I asked why he said you were in therapy, I called you out of panic, and then I'm me so I backed off, so you could figure everything out and shit. And third I'm sorry.**

 **KATNISS: Oh**

 **PEETA: Oh?**

 **KATNISS: What else were you expecting?**

 **PEETA: I honestly don't know**

She doesn't respond for a while, but the bubbles keep popping up and going away. I want to go away from the message but I'm curious to see if she'll continue our awkward conversation.

 **KATNISS: How has spring training been?**

 **PEETA: So far so good. Our first game is Wednesday but I most likely won't see any action until next week.**

 **KATNISS: Well that's good I guess? I mean the good part not that you won't play till next week**

 **PEETA: Yea well that's how it pretty much always is for the first week. We have to let the new guys show their talent and then the veterans fill in, so we get a few at bats and innings in our positions.**

 **KATNISS: Oh, okay got it**

The conversation seems complete at that, but I want to keep talking to her so on a whim I ask about her.

 **PEETA: How is studying for the advanced test going?**

 **KATNISS: How did you know I was studying for that?**

 **PEETA: That's all you ever did at our shoots, flash cards in hand, head down ignoring me. You spat out literally everything you could at me on dates because we had nothing else to talk about.**

 **PEETA: I paid attention Katniss, even if you didn't want me to.**

There's no response from her or text bubbles for a few minutes so I decide to put down my phone. I roll over, a little sad that she didn't respond but not really surprised. Maybe she fell asleep or maybe I surprised her but my honesty.

I guess I fall asleep because the next thing I know my alarm is going off at 7:30. I turn it off and lay face up in my bed for a few extra minutes, wishing I had a few more hours to sleep and not be present in front of anyone. My second alarm at 7:45 forces me out of bed and I drag my feet into the kitchen. I may have gotten close to eight hours of sleep, but it doesn't feel like that. My body is used to being sore, but my muscles and brain just feel tired. I know my conversation with Katniss wasn't overly taxing but the weird dream and then her unloading everything just made for a weird sleep.

I make myself some breakfast, just enough to give me energy for morning drills and then I can chow down on a bigger meal at our team's clubhouse. I saw that Katniss texted back earlier and don't dare look at it before practice. Especially if she doesn't message again, what's the point of looking at it?

At 8:30 I make my way over to our spring facility and am greeted by eager pressers. They snap their pictures as I continue on, ignoring every single one of their questions, even if a majority of them are about baseball. Once inside the locker room, I'm greeted by Finn's overly excited smile.

"What's with you this morning?", I question, keeping my head down, ignoring his oddly infectious smile.

"Oh, nothing", he basically sings.

"Are you sure it's nothing?", I ask again, looking up at him, smiling like an idiot.

"I can't tell you here. Too many ears", he says and practically skips away to his locker.

"Well, alright then", I sigh under my breath. The past few days I've tried my best to not show any emotion and Finn has backed off enough to even show that he's happy about whatever with himself, which I'm thankful for. I'd rather have that then him constantly asking about how I'm doing.

Practice is relatively easy, with basic throwing drills ran and then breakoff position work for the last half. Outfielders don't have batting practice until the afternoon today, so I decide to hit the weight room. Before I can get there though, I'm stopped by Cato, which can only mean one thing.

"Nope, not today. I don't feel like talking to the media", I say and try to push past him. He plants his hands on my chest and tries his best to stop me.

"You want to get fired?", he questions as I refuse to be stopped.

"I don't care", I yell back at him and continue on my way.

"Yea you do Peeta", he yells down the hallway. I stop right in front of the door to the weight room and turn back to him. He's walking toward me with the sternest face that I've seen on him, which stops me from entering. "It's with just one reporter", he pleads as he approaches me.

"One reporter?", I question, raising my eyebrows at the weird request.

"Heavensbee arranged it. I believe it's with Rue", he says flatly.

"Seriously?", I question again.

"Seriously", he confirms and turns around. I debate not following him but decide better of it because apparently my career depends on this interview.

"Why her?", I ask once I catch up with him. He doesn't answer and leads me down the normal conference room hallway. "Are you going to answer me or am I just going to be left here in silence?", I question again as he opens the last door possible and ushers me right in.

"Just answer her questions. She's new to this and it should be one of your easiest interview ever. Please don't fuck it up", he says to me and closes the door. Dazed about what he just told me, I try to take in the room. There are two folding chairs on a raised platform facing each other with two cameras pointed toward them. Lights are set up around the platform, strategically illuminating that area only. The only people I see are standing around the cameras quietly talking to themselves.

"Ah there you are", I hear a voice say, that I think comes from the stage. As my eyes adjust I see Rue sit down in one chair. I make my way over and take the seat across from her. "Thank you for coming, I honestly didn't think Cato would be able to get you here", she says smiling.

At her statement I realize, Cato was lying and just wanted me to do this interview for his sake. "Oh well, I was free, and you were nice to talk the other day. Different. You weren't all hung up on Katniss and myself", I say rolling my eyes and relax a little.

"Oh, well", she starts, and I can see a faint blush run across her face at my small confession. "Well, I didn't think you would want to talk about a break up, even if it were fake", she says shrugging. I mimic her shrug and sit back. She looks down at her papers and someone comes in to adjust her makeup and is gone faster than I have time to evaluate the cleanliness of my outfit. I try to adjust my hat from backwards to frontwards but am stopped by the camera men.

"No, we want this as genuine as possible. Keep it backwards", he shouts at me and I do just that. Rue continues to look at her papers for a few more moments and then tosses them toward the cameras.

"Ready?", Rue says to me and I nod at her abruptness. "Great. Claudius?", she asks and straightens out her skirt and before I can process that were starting, the lights get even brighter and all I can focus on is Rue. "Alright Peeta, how this is going to work is I'm going to introduce myself to you and you to myself. I'm then going to start asking you questions. Your answers could be one word or longer, depends on the question, really. The questions can vary from your personal life to your baseball career. We want this to be as unedited as possible so I'm just going to keep asking questions so say the first thing that comes to mind. Any questions before we get started?", she says quickly.

"Um what?", I ask, because this interview format seems weird.

"I thought that would be the response", she says chuckling slightly. "I can't reveal everything about this but basically the Gazette wants to get more people engaged on our website so were starting a series of quick questioned interviews of select baseball players during spring training. You aren't my first interview for this, so I expected that response", she says smiling.

"Oh, uh, well okay then", I say back, blinking a few times to readjust my eyes. I'm not completely comfortable with this but I'm in the chair anyways so might as well see it through

"Wonderful. Alright Claudius, we're ready on your count", Rue signals and turns here attention on to me. Claudius begins his countdown but doesn't say one and I guess Rue takes that has her cue and she introduces herself to me quietly, including her district from where she's from and what she does.

"Hello Rue. I'm Peeta Mellark from district 12 but I currently live in the Capitol because I play on the Capitol Careers", I say fidgeting in my chair, trying to keep eye contact with her.

"It's nice to officially meet Peeta Mellark but before we dive into more serious questions about baseball, what is your favorite color?", she asks obviously trying to make a transition into the questions.

"Orange", I say without hesitation.

"Like neon?"

"No, more like the sunset".

"What's your favorite thing to eat?"

"Pizza"

"With pineapple?" she asks raising an eyebrow.

"Of course,", I say smiling and rolling my eyes at the stupid argument. I'm beginning to relax as I realize that this is going to be a lot easier than I had pictured it to be.

"Interesting", she stares at me quizzically and I can only assume that she doesn't enjoy pineapple on her pizza.

"How couldn't you like pineapple on your pizza?", I ask.

"Hey now, I'm the one asking the questions", she obviously pretending to be offended.

"And I gave you my answer", I say shrugging my shoulders, playing along with her stupid little interview game.

"Touché. What's your least favorite movie genre?", she asks turning the interview back onto track.

"Historical fiction".

"I would have pegged you as the type to not like romance movies".

I audibly gasp and exaggerate my offense. "Romance movies are actually the best movies, or at least were, to play drinking games to. And besides every now and then a man has to let out a cry".

"So mister MVP of baseball likes a good cry every now and then?".

"Sure do and there's no shame in it because I need to balance my emotions", I say shrugging.

"I'm starting to actually sense you may not be so super human Peeta Mellark", Rue says smirking.

"There's a lot that the media doesn't like to show about me and that's their fault for only wanting to show certain things", I say nonchalantly. I don't know what triggered my reaction, but I continue on when Rue doesn't respond. "Like how they just ate up everything Katniss or I did together or said. But they never really questioned us until Gale decided for us. It really is funny how the media never dug deeper and honestly, they probably would have found this out about a month in. But no, everyone was so engrossed with us being love, no one could have thought differently. So yea I'm not super human Rue. Not even close", I say with a smile and a shake of my head I can see my response catch her off guard because all she does is gawk at me for close to ten seconds. I would apologize for my response but finally saying that felt so good and I don't think I can.

"Cut!", I hear Claudius say when Rue can't respond to me.

"Okay were just going to pick up", Rue starts but I interrupt her.

"No, we will not be. You're going to have to tell me the questions ahead of time because I will respond like that again if I feel the need to. I also gathered ow I'm not fully obligated to be here so if your questions at all wonder into the subject of my personal life I will be walking out that door", I say firmly. I can see Rue low her head and remain quiet. I take her silence as a yes and walk straight out the door.

I get about half down the hallway before the door opens and I'm being yelled at to come back but I ignore them and continue on to my original destination. I instead end up wandering around the facility for almost thirty minutes to try to clear my head after my outburst. I still don't know what triggered my reaction, but it felt good to say.

I finally make my way to the training room and I find Finn casually stretching in the corner by the throwing cages. "Hey Peeta!", he calls out as I get closer to him.

"Hey Finn, what's up?", I ask politely.

"Oh, you know just trying," he says and then leans in closer to me to whisper, "to keep calm about Annie telling me she's pregnant!"

"Dude! Congrats!", I try to say as quietly as possible for his shake. We embrace quickly, and I slap him on the back a few times. "Were you even trying?", I ask and see Finn flinch back a little.

"Um, yea Peet. I told you this a few weeks ago", he says slightly offended.

"I just, with Katniss and shit I guess I haven't really been paying attention, I'm sorry", I say trying to recover. "Shit man I'm sorry. Fuck, forget I said anything", I mumble and turn away from him.

"Peet, c'mon man. I know you've been dealing with a lot and I guess I shouldn't have expected you to remember but I'm in a committed relationship of over eight years", he says, grasping my shoulder. "I haven't really had time to tie the knot with her and she understands that, so having a kid, well that's been our goal for the past two years", he says as I turn back around. He has that same goofy smile on from before.

"I'm really happy for you both", I say and try to put the biggest smile on my face. It must not work because he begins to frown.

"Okay, what's wrong?", Finn asks, leading us into the throwing cage. I stand behind the mesh as he retrieves a bucket of balls.

"I, uh, kinda just fucked up an interview by going off about the media and how they were horribly misled by Katniss and I", I say awkwardly.

"You what?", he asks, stopping his throwing motion.

I rely the situation to him as he throws pitch after pitch. "And then I stormed out of the room and wandered around the facility avoiding any and all human contact."

"Obviously you haven't spoken to Cato", he says.

"Nope, I have", I start and am interrupted by someone yelling my name.

"Mellark!", I turn and see Coach Beetee making his way toward us.

"Coach, I'm just making sure Odair doesn't pull a muscle", I say as a defense as to why I'm here.

"I don't care about that. What I care about is why a District 11 news outlet felt the need to contact me to complain about you", he says sternly. "They aren't the first ones to either. So what the fuck is up and don't tell me this is all because of the Katniss situation. Because if it is, your ass is benched opening day."

"Oh, oh, shit", I mumble. I try to avoid his eye contact, but it doesn't work.

"I'm taking that as a 'yes this is about Katniss'. You better fix it, or your streak of opening day homers is at stake", he practically yells at me and turns quickly on his heel to storm off.

"Well I'm officially fucked", I say, hitting my head gently on the pole of the cage.

"Yea, I don't know if I can help you out with that one", Finn says before throwing the last ball. "Don't you have batting practice in twenty minutes? There's always some sort of press afterwards, start there", he says shrugging.

"Yea, yea I guess", I say "Hey, how about I make dinner tomorrow night with Annie to celebrate?", I ask before turning away.

"Fuck yea!", I hear him yell as I jog through the locker room door. I make my way through the normal bunch of guys plus a few call ups to my locker.

"Where are you coming from?", I hear from the familiar voice of Gloss.

"Just needed to clear my mind before batting practice", I say pulling my phone out.

"Ah, better not get caught with that stuff. I have some meds to cover for the test", he says with a wink.

"Dude, I would not waste "that stuff" to clear my head before batting practice", I jokingly say back. I finally get my phone unlocked and am thankful that's there only the message from Katniss.

 **KATNISS: Who says I didn't want you to?**

I try to think of a response but my thumb hovers before I say fuck it and type what I'm actually thinking.

 **PEETA: I'd say you, but you always surprise me, so I guess I could be wrong.**

An email from Cato comes in with a header of 'not good' and a red flag. Out of curiosity I check it immediately, thinking it's about the interview from earlier. Just like the other stupid articles he finds and sends me, however, there is only a link.

 **' Is Katniss already over her "two" boyfriends?'**

"What the fuck", I mumble under my breath as I scroll to see a photo of Katniss kissing a woman. "Oh, shit", I say a little louder than intended.

"What's got you cursing Mell.. Is that Katniss?", Gloss's voice echoes in my head. And soon enough, half the team is looking over my shoulder. I can't seem to move, and I just stare at the photo in pure shock.

"Weren't you two dating?", I hear being shouted, which starts a round of murmurs and mumbles of the photo.

"Shut up!", I yell breaking my silence, causing everyone to look at me in shock. "Katniss and I were never really together. It was just a whole stunt and I'd really appreciate it if everyone would respect that I don't want to talk about it or her right now."

"Dude, you two looked so in love? Why the stunt?", I hear from a voice I don't recognize.

"Okay, well since I don't know you, you don't get that answer", I say in a huff and turn back around to my locker. I throw my phone in my bag and dig around for my cleats. I sit down on the bench with everyone still staring at me. "What?", I ask furiously and at that they all scatter.

Session 3: Monday March 3 (Katniss's POV)

"Katniss Everdeen? Mr. Lucius is ready to see you now", I hear the receptionist say and I look up from my phone, making eye contact with the woman. I just finished reading my text conversation with Peeta because I couldn't remember how I finished it but apparently, I did with a 'who says I didn't want you to?'.

"Oh, um great", I fumble to put my phone into my bag, which I see light up with a message, but I ignore it. With my head pounding, I stand and walk into Cinna's office. He's sitting behind his desk which is different from the other two sessions. He's looking down at his notes, scribbling something down from his computer. I take my usual seat on the far right of the couch and try not to hang my head in my hands to show how hungover I am to him.

"Hello, Katniss", I hear him say and I think I try to mumble a hello as I try to stop the world from spinning. I didn't mean to drink as much as I did, but the conversation with Peeta sort of set me off and I called Joanna up and we went out drinking. I briefly remember going uptown and making out with someone or I think multiple someones, I'm not too sure. I don't however remember making it back to my apartment, changing out of my outfit and into sweats and passing out. I guess I set alarms at some point yesterday because they went off loudly an hour ago. I almost shut it off when I remembered I had to be here by 11.

The brightness of his room is irritating, and I know in a few moments I'm going to have to talk to him. I really don't want to and maybe I just won't answer him. I debate just laying down and napping on his couch, but he rounds his desk and promptly sits down in his king chair.

"How much did you drink last night?", Cinna asks, and I know I'm fucked. Even after two sessions I can already start to pick up on his disappointment voice, which I feel like I hear more often than his normal one.

"I honestly don't know", I say because that's the honest answer.

"Okay, did you talk to Peeta?", he asks continuing, getting to the point of everything.

"Kind of", I mumble, shifting to get more comfortable.

"Katniss. I need you to elaborate more. I know you're hungover and probably don't want to be here, but mumbling isn't going to get us anywhere.", he says firmly. I shift more and just say fuck it and decide to lay down instead. Might as well make this like a therapy session you'd see on tv.

"I tried very hard over the past few days to get Peeta to answer my calls, but nothing came of it", I start and close my eyes to get the world to stop spinning. "I messaged him last night before I started drinking on a whim and explained everything that's going on. He responded, and we had an awkward conversation that ended in me basically telling him I didn't mind if he paid attention to me", I spit out in one breath. I release one big breath before turning my head toward Cinna.

"Great, I'm glad you two were able to message each other", he says flatly.

"Great? That's it?", I say in anger. I want to stand and actually yell at him, but my hangover prevents me. "I have one pathetic conversation with Peeta and that's all you have to say of it?", I ask, growing angrier that my binge on alcohol got me a 'Great' from my therapist.

"Katniss, it is great that you talked to him. I don't know what you two actually talked about, but I hope it was all light hearted. It may not have gone the way you wanted it too, but you got him to talk to you", he says uncrossing his legs and bending to be closer to me. "One short conversation that went somewhat awkwardly can be the gateway to others. But if you're going to get angry at me for this, then we need to reevaluate our approach. Or if you even want Peeta in your life", he says leaning back away, almost as if he wants to just be a bystander to this all.

"How could you assume I would want Peeta in my life?", I ask, confused as to why he would suggest everything he did and then take it back in one sentence.

"How couldn't I assume you wanted Peeta in your life? Our conversation last week made it seem that you want him in your life and not just as your friend. You want more and the only way you can ever get more is with conversation. Just as you and I are doing. You weren't too open with me but now here we are", he says, finishing by gesturing his hands to me on the couch. "If you didn't actually want to work on this, you wouldn't have shown up hungover. But since you did, can I assume you do?", he asks. I don't respond to him at first and he starts writing. I don't know what he's writing but the pen scratches are getting annoying.

I turn my head the other way and let his words sink in. Why did I show up here? I could have easily cancelled, slept the day away and ignored the conversation I had with Peeta. I don't even think the possibility of Haymitch yelling at me would have made me come here. "So why did I come here then like this? Because I can't think of a good reason other than I was obligated to", I say turning to him, but his head is still down writing away. "What are you writing?", I ask more out of annoyance of him not responding right of way than out of curiosity because more than likely he wrote down and went into detail about how I'm hungover as shit and uncooperative.

"If you're that curious about it I'll tell you. I wrote down that 'despite how hungover Katniss is, she still decided to show up to our session. She is laying down and looks like she may vomit everywhere any moment. She doesn't remember how much she had to drink last night, which leaves many things open: conversations, interactions, etcetera. She had one conversation with Peeta, which she said ended with her saying she didn't mind him paying attention to her. Katniss denies/questions that this small conversation, no matter the content isn't a large step forward in having Peeta in her life. My initial thought on why she showed up here today is because she wanted to tell me about her conversation with Peeta and most likely hasn't told anyone else'", he says in one long breath and finishes by just staring at me. "I don't know what you were expecting me to write but those were my observations of you and our conversations. I need you to be more open to your emotions, even in your current state. And I do believe I'm right about you not telling anyone else at your reaction to my observations".

"Um, I guess? I don't remember telling anyone about Peeta", I tell him as I search for my phone in my bag. I remember texting Joanna details about details of going out after my conversation with Peeta but I don't think I ever told her. And if I did, I was drunk, and I don't remember.

"Okay", I hear him say as I read through my messages with Joanna, ignoring the message from Haymitch. I never messaged her about Peeta, I was just extremely addiment about going out.

"Well unless I drunkingly told my friend Joanna about Peeta, I haven't told anyone", I say resting my phone on my stomach closing my eyes, trying to remember anything that happened last night. My phone pings with a notification but I ignore it for now as I try to concentrate.

"Katniss, may I be honest with you?", Cinna asks a little friendlier then normal.

"Aren't you always honest with me Cinna?", I ask, questioning his weird question.

"Well yes Katniss, I am. I didn't have to ask you how much you drank last night", he says, his voice trailing off.

"Cinna, just because you knew doesn't mean you didn't have to ask. That's fine", I confirm, sitting up slightly.

"Katniss that's not what I meant. I was reading a tabloid about you, just before you sat down. My analysis of you doesn't stop when you leave this room", he starts, and I can see him shift in his seat. "You're a high-profile case and with you in the media I need all the information I can get to accurately assess you."

"Excuse me? What article?", I ask flipping my phone over seeing that it's an email from Haymitch with an attachment. "Shit", I curse under my breath as I open it.

"Katniss, I was hoping you had seen it before you got here, but obviously not", he says, his voice trailing again. His voice is normally even and steady. He says everything with confidence, which makes me believe what I'm about to read is a slam on me.

I open the link right to a picture of me and a taller brunette woman kissing. My body perfectly aligns with hers, my arms tossed over her shoulders lazily as her hands rest on my waist. I knew I made out with someone, but I don't remember this extremely leggy and curvy woman. I feel like I would have remembered but I guess not.

I don't read the article as I can't get passed the picture. "Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh my god", I stutter out my shock. "I don't, I mean, I guess. Oh my god". I can feel myself start to panic at the notion that this can imply to everyone because making out with a girl in public forces me out of a closet I don't even know if I was in. It will also complicate everything with Peeta. "Shit, shit, shit, shit", I curse as I make the realization. I stand and start to slowly pace the room.

"Katniss. I know this is difficult and I know a lot of emotions are coursing through you right now but please sit down", he says calmly, and I do as he says, more out of necessity than to please him. "Are you okay?", he asks once I've taken my seat

"Of course I'm not okay!" I yell at him. I can feel my voice start to rise as I continue. "This picture could change everything for me! For Peeta! For me and Peeta together! I don't remember kissing that woman! Let alone allowing someone to get that close to me to get that good of a picture! Agh!", I practical scream at Cinna. I throw my head into my hands and just try to breath, attempting to calm myself down.

"Are those your only worries Katniss?", he asks, breaking our long silence.

"If you're trying to ask if I'm worried about being outed as gay, you're doing a horrible job", I tell him flatly. "And that doesn't really matter. The point that matters is that I'm publicly kissing someone else less than a month after my "two" break ups", I say using air quotes around the two.

"Okay, well I don't think it's that bad. You're are 26-year-old woman. You should be able to kiss whoever you want. No questions asked", Cinna says calmly.

"Really?", I ask slightly surprised at him being this calm.

"Yes, really. I didn't know how you were going to respond to the woman part of this. But if you only see it as you are kissing someone else then I know where to start", he says.

"Oh", I sigh out, remembering Cinna is the most level headed and kind person I've ever met.

"Great. Now that were on the same page. Care to walk me through last night? Or tell me what you remember?", he asks, placing down his paper and crossing his legs, obviously allowing his full attention on me.

"Well it started with me messaging Peeta and telling him about therapy which turned into the weird conversation", I start and then rely the whole conversation to Cinna.

"I know were not done here for the day, but I would like for you to continue to ask how his day was, each day. Just a message of 'how are you' will suffice", Cinna adds once I finish.

"Okay, that's easy enough", I sigh and sink my head into my hands.

"Katniss, I know you don't want to hear this now, but you've done the easy part by starting a conversation with him. The hard part is going to continuing to work on your relationship with Peeta. Whether it be a friendship or eventually more", he says, and I raise my head slowly, my interested peaked at the eventually more part. "A way to help this out would be by playing a game."

"A game?" I ask skeptical of the idea. "Cinna, we just played probably the largest prank on the public. I don't think Peeta is going to want to play a game with me."

"It's not really a game, Katniss. More of a way to figure out what was really true during your fake relationship and what was fake", he says gently, obviously trying to win my trust over.

"So basically, trying to figure out what was real and not real?", I ask raising my eyebrows at him.

"Yes exactly", he says with a smile, which slowly fades as he speaks again. "I know right now you don't know what you want from him, but this is the start. Now do you remember anything else from last night?"

"I remember drinking, a lot", I say rolling my eyes and Cinna laughs slightly. "But other than that, I don't. I'll have to ask Joanna if she remembers anything and help piece together what happened last night."

"That's fine with me, and if you do figure out what happened last night and want to talk about it you know where to find me", he says with a smile and picks his notepad back up. "I'd like to switch subjects if that's okay with you."

"Yea, yea I guess that's fine. What did you want to talk about next?", I ask rolling my eyes. I start digging around in my bag for my water and am especially thankful to myself that I remembered it this morning. I take a hefty sip as Cinna speaks again.

"I wanted to talk about Madge and your relationship with her", Cinna says flatly, and I almost choke on the water.

"Agh!", I cough out after I'm able to swallow.

"Was it something I said?", Cinna questions, his eyes trying to read me.

"I just wasn't expecting you to say my relationship with Madge", I say attempting to control my breathing.

"During our last session you had mentioned that Gale had cheated on you with your friend Madge. I wanted to discuss your relationship with her next", he says shrugging. "It's okay if you don't want to talk about her today, but to understand the full story we will eventually need to talk about her. We could try to figure out what happened last night, but I think that's something you need to do by yourself before you talk to me."

"I, um", I start because I know deep down I don't want to dive into the subject of Madge today especially in my state of hangover, but I guess today is as good as any. "Okay, what did you want to know about her?", I ask, throwing all caution to the wind.

"How did you and her first meet?", he asks pointedly.

"Madge and I met on my first day of work. She had started a few weeks before me. She was nice, shy like I was, and I think we both sensed that about each other and bonded over it", I say and hesitate to mention how close we actually got at one point.

"Is there anything else about Madge I should know?", Cinna asks, as his pen scribbles down what I just told him.

"Well", I start but stop myself, collecting my thoughts on how I want to talk about it. I see Cinna raise his eyebrows and stop writing as I look around the room. "Madge and I almost hooked up once. Drunkingly. But our friend Darius walked in and killed it", I confess in one breath. No one, not even Gale knows about that night.

"Did you and Madge ever talk about that night?", he asks cautiously.

"Um, no. We kinda just danced around the subject", I say shaking my head. "Madge was always a touchy person toward me and she'd seize every opportunity to touch me".

"Is this or more specifically was this touching by Madge unwanted by you?", he asks.

"Um, what?", I ask, shocked by his question.

"I'll repeat myself", he starts but I cut him off.

"No, no I understood you. I was just shocked you asked", I say, still shocked.

"I asked because of the way you sounded when you said she seized every opportunity to touch you. It concerns me Katniss", Cinna says sternly, staring me down across the room.

"I never really thought about it as being unwanted", I say, racking my brain for all the times Madge has touched me randomly and not just in a friendly way.

"Katniss, you were in a relationship with Gale for over three years. Didn't you at one point", I hear him say but I tune him out as I slowly start to remember the last time Madge was especially touchy toward me. "What?", I watch Cinna ask in confusion as the blurry New Year's Eve memories come into focus.

 _"Gale, please I'm exhausted. I don't want to go over to Madge's for New Years. Can we please just stay in and celebrate together?", I plead as I take off my work shoes by the door. I give him a quick glance and see he's in a nice shirt and the jeans that make his ass look especially good. I shake my head at his determination to get me to go out._

 _"But Catnip we haven't been out with our friends in over six months because of this stupid contract. The least you could do for me is to let us go out on New Year's Eve", I hear him beg from the kitchen. His plea was slightly muffled as I made my way into our bedroom to change into my comfy sweats._

 _I contemplate the sweats for a good minute, listening to the clatter of pans in the kitchen. I know Gale is making his usual after shift meal as quick as possible, so we can make get over to Madge's. The bruise comes into mind and I shake my head. I throw down the sweats and turn to my closet._

 _The dress I bought a year ago for last year's New Year's party that I didn't end up wearing because Gale wanted to stay in stares me in the face. "Fuck it", I mumble to myself and slip it on. The solid black, off the shoulder dress, flows right over my hips and stops at mid-thigh. I search for my only pair of nice heels because I might as well dress to the nines for this. I release the tie on my hair and run a brush through it, jostling it to flow over my shoulders._

 _I half strut, half stumble, as I normally do, back into the kitchen. "Okay let's go then", I say as I search my purse for my phone._

 _"Oh, fuck", I hear Gale curse. I look up to his mouth half way to the floor._

 _"What? Too much?", I ask looking down at my dress with a smirk, extremely pleased by his reaction._

 _"We, uh, we can stay in if if if you want to", I hear Gale fumble over his words as he makes his way toward me and I try to ignore what he said because I know exactly what he wants. His hand moves my hair out of the way as his hand cups my face._

 _"You said we haven't been out with our friends in a while so let's go", I breathe out as his mouth finds my neck. "Gale", I sigh out and relax into his kisses._

 _"Yes?", he mumbles between kisses. He's moving further down, and I stop him with both of my hands pressing against his chest._

 _"Let's go ring in the New Year with everyone", I say._

 _"As long as you're my New Year's kiss", he whispers._

 _"Of course," I smile and lead him out the door._

 _Madge's townhouse is a short cab drive up town, and Gale hasn't taken his hand off me. We enter into Madge's home and are immediately greeted by blasting music and the smell of weed and cigarette smoke. I try my best to lead us to alcohol between bodies and make our way into the living room and then into the slightly less crowded kitchen_

 _"Finally," I breathe out. I turn back toward Gale with a pout as I feel his hand drop from my side but he's not paying attention to me. I'm then being embraced by someone and I realize who Gale was looking at._

 _"Katniss! You look stunning! I didn't think you would make it!", Madge yells in my face._

 _"Yea, well Gale convinced me", I say casually as they embrace._

 _"Well I'm glad!", she says and then pulls me in close to whisper something. I watch out of the corner of my eye as Gale walks over to a keg where Darius is stationed. "It may be the alcohol speaking but you look absolutely gorgeous in this dress and if Gale doesn't take it off then I might have to", she whispers in my ear and pulls away with a wink._

 _"I need a drink", I say with a sad smile and make my way over to the same table where Gale is. She follows me and wraps her hands around my waist and sways in time with the music. My eyes go wide but relax into it solely because I can't let either of them know I know. As I reach for the punch I see Gale's eyes go wide and Darius slaps him in the chest. I take a hefty sip and plead for the drink to work faster. I need to forget this night, Peeta and everything that is about my life right now._

Cinna is still looking at me expectantly, but I still need to sort out the rest of that night. The next thing I remember is being several drinks in when Joanna, Madge and I started taking shots of tequila alone in the kitchen.

 _"Whose idea was this?", Madge slurs, as I watch Joanna over pours three shots._

 _"Mine!", Joanna shouts gleefully._

 _"Yea, because Katniss wouldn't be the one to suggest shots", I slur. "Oh god I referred to myself in the third person. I am sufficiently drunk you guys."_

 _"YES! Drunk Katniss is out and ready to partayyy!" Darius says stumbling in to the kitchen. "But girls, c'mon its almost midnight. Y'all better find your midnight kiss!", he slurs, leaning slightly toward Joanna._

 _"Oh god I don't know who I'm gonna kiss!", Joanna says sarcastically, grabbing at Darius. Madge and I turn to each other laughing and rolling our eyes, attempting to make our way out of the kitchen._

 _Before we enter into the living room, Madge wraps her arms around my waist and leans close to me to whisper, "he's mine you know". I watch her dance her way into the crowd to the front when I feel a familiar hand wrap around me from behind. I instantly meld into him, counting down the seconds to midnight. As have been years past we only peck like best friends would. He barely pulls his lips off mine, obviously wanting to continue on but I pull back quickly because somewhere deep down I know to stop, since of course I'm dating Peeta._

I don't remember much after that, especially since memories still pop in and out of my mind randomly. But at the time I was quite drunk and couldn't quite contemplate what she meant. I now however realize she was talking about Gale. "I just remembered Madge basically confessed her affair with Gale to me while I was drunk at her New Year's Eve party", I say quietly.

"Come again?", Cinna asks quickly.

"Madge told me Gale was hers just before midnight on New Years of this year. She was really touchy that night and maybe it was all just a rouse to distract me from her and Gale. I may have been really drunk that night, but I now remember her saying something about Gale being hers", I say staring blankly at the table, trying to remember what happened immediately after that.

"Katniss", he says sympathetically.

"I can't believe she actually told me", I whisper, trying to wrap my head around my realization.

"Katniss, I know this is a lot to take in but",

"Don't but me!", I lash out as my realization settles in. "Madge told me a month and a half before all of this that Gale was her! I knew about it, but she told me!", I practically yell, standing up. "She had the audacity to tell me while I was drunk, and that Gale was hers and everything should be different! I shouldn't be here, I shouldn't be having to do this! I should have told Gale I knew! Everything would be so much easier if I told him I knew back in November!" I say in huff, my head pounding. I collapse back on the couch, doing my best to suppress my nausea.

"Why would it be easier now if you told him in November?", Cinna asks, throwing his paper down on the table.

"I, I don't know", I sigh out, trying to read him and what he thinks I apparently already know.

"Yes, you do Katniss", he confirms.

"I", I start and slowly start to put together the pieces he wants me to say aloud.

"It would be easier for you Katniss. It would be a lot easier to tell yourself now that you realize you have feelings for Peeta, if you were a single woman when he proposed to you to save the lie. But you weren't so you started questioning everything. I understand that", Cinna says, never breaking eye contact with me. "I, however, need you to be able to say that to me. Once you can say that and mean it, we can move on. But until then I have nothing for you", he says and gets up from his chair. I watch as he makes his way back to his desk, paper in hand. He doesn't say goodbye as I get up and slam the door shut behind me.

* * *

 **a/n: honestly didn't think this chapter would end up this way, but I think it sets up the rest of the story nicely :). Hopefully, I'll have an update out sooner than this one, but no promises... Don't forget to review, favorite, follow!**


	12. Clean

**A/N: life is distracting sometimes and work is really busy and I'm trying here but I'm even losing interest in this story only because it isn't going where I intended for it to in the beginning but I think I like it?**

* * *

Week 3: Tuesday March 4

"Have you talked to her?", Finn asks as he enters back into the kitchen. I'm stirring my pan of chicken curry and don't fully register what he asked, so I ignore it. "Peeta? Hello?"

"Hmm?", I turn my head toward him prompting him to ask me again.

"I asked if you had talked to her. As in Katniss. The girl you're madly in love with", he says gesturing wildly. I hear him chuckle a little and I go cold. "Oh, c'mon man. This is nothing. Her kissing another woman is going to bother you? She is single and can do whatever she wants."

"Yea, well a warning of her sexuality would have been nice", I say shrugging my shoulders.

"Nope. That isn't fair. She doesn't owe you anything", he says pointedly, and I turn toward him. "What? She doesn't. She can be who she wants, when she wants", he says as Annie strolls into the kitchen.

"Who can be whoever she wants?", she asks before planting a kiss on Finn's cheek.

"Katniss", I mumble.

"Oh, are you talking about the article? Because, according to my sources, she was extremely drunk and was talking about you a lot", Annie says raising her eyebrows.

"Wait, she was?", I ask, my eyes going wide. I then realize how stupid that sounds as Annie starts to laugh.

"Hey, now you know you like it when she talks about you", Annie chuckles. "Just talk to her let her explain what happened. Guaranteed that kiss meant nothing, and she was just drunk, kissing the first person that let her. I'm only saying this because it once happened to me in college, before this goof ball finally opened his eyes", she shrugs popping a tomato in her mouth.

"Hey! Those are for the salad", Finnick playfully yells at her.

"I'm growing a person inside me. Don't tell me what to do", she says right back, leaning toward him for a kiss. I shake my head at their interaction.

"You two are going to make great parents", I chuckle, trying to sound genuine.

"If you say so", Finn shrugs his shoulders with a smile plastered on his face, resting his hand on Annie stomach. We're silent for a few moments, taking in what was just said. I take a hefty swig of my beer and turn back to my curry to see if its ready.

"You should text her, if she hasn't already", Annie says gently as I turn off the stove.

"Yea, well I don't know where to start. She hasn't texted me since I texted her yesterday before I knew about the article", I say, taking the large skillet to the table.

"So? Are you afraid of double texting or something?", Annie suggests.

"I, what?", I ask curiously.

"Double texting. Basically, the other person hasn't replied so you text again to try to get the other person to respond. C'mon Peet keep up with the times", Finn jokes, passing the rice bowl to me.

"I don't know how to respond to that", I say and turn my attention to the happy couple across from me. "But enough about me, tonight we're celebrating life. The life that some how this fool is going to bring into the world with this gorgeous woman", I say pointing to them respectfully. "May this journey be wonderful, blessed and everything you ever wanted", I finish by tipping my beer toward Finn for a 'cheers' and he complies.

"Thank you Peet", he says gratefully. He leans over and gives Annie a kiss on the cheek and we dig in. We eat in silence for a few minutes before Annie speaks.

"I know you don't want it to be dinner conversation, but Peeta do tell about Katniss", Annie asks politely.

"Ann, I told you he wouldn't want to talk about her, even if he isn't talking to her", Finnick pleads toward her. I contemplate my earlier statement of not wanting to talk about me, but Finn is the only person I trust currently, and I guess now is as good as any to start figuring out Katniss and I.

"No, no its okay. I don't know what you've told her", I start and wipe my mouth clean before continuing. "but basically, I'm in love with Katniss and have been since kindergarten. The fake relationship screwed everything up and I don't know if I'm going to ever be able to have Katniss for real. Happy?", I ask with a raise of my eyebrows. Both Finnick and Annie have blank expressions on their faces, obviously stunned at my response.

"You love her?", Annie ask gently after a few awkwardly silent moments, with only the music of some weird country song playing about tequila.

"Yea, I do", I state firmly.

"Dude, we've been dancing around that subject for weeks and you just blatantly say it? Do you even realize what you just said?", Finn asks.

"Um, yea?", I question back.

"Now you have to text her. I don't care if its just asking her how her day was. We are making this happen", Annie insists.

"I don't know about that. I don't even know if Katniss wants me in her life", I start but am interrupted by Finnick.

"Of course she wants you in her life. She wouldn't have told you everything she did or even constantly try", Finn says evenly. "You gotta put forth an effort otherwise there really won't be a you and her."

"Yea, I guess", I say and just stare blankly at my plate.

"Don't yea I guess us, Peet. Text her", Finn insists and slide my phone toward me.

"What do I even say?", I say, searching for Katniss in my messages.

"Just ask her how her day was", Annie says, helping herself to another portion of curry.

"Do I mention the article?", I ask, looking between the both of them.

"No!", they yell at me at the same time.

"Just ask her how her day was. Jeez is that so hard to understand", Annie says slightly frustrated.

"Okay, okay. I sent 'hey, how was you day?', I say, hopefully pleasing them.

"Perfect! The first step is done", Annie sighs out.

"You make it seem like the its going to be a lot harder after this?", I question.

"Well yea probably. She most like won't reply for a while. And then we won't", Annie starts but is interrupted by my phone pinging. "Did she just reply?", Annie asks shocked.

"Yea", I say staring down at the notification.

"You idiot, open it!", Finn yells at me.

 **KATNISS:** **pretty shitty, how was yours?**

I read the message a loud to Annie and Finn and wait for them to react before I do.

"Okay, great. Answer the question", Annie insists so I do.

"So?", Finn questions as I hit send.

"I said 'I'm sorry it was shit, what happened? And mine was kinda boring'."

"Kinda boring? You were hitting 400 feet plus homers constantly today at batting practice. I highly doubt that qualifies as kinda boring", Finn says rolling his eyes.

"Well did you really want me to start off with 'I found out yesterday coming back from our fake relationship is a lot harder than I thought it was going to be?' Hmm?", I retort back.

"I, uh, well, I guess not", Finn leans back into his seat, pushing around the last bit of food on his plate with his fork. My phone pings again and we all perk up.

 **KATNISS: I didn't do so well at my tasting group, Haymitch is on my ass about continuing my modeling contract and other shit you probably already know about.**

"How do I respond to that?", I ask, grateful to have people to talk this over with.

"Well, you could play idiot to it", Finn suggests weakly.

"Cato and Haymitch talk constantly. Katniss knows I know", I say.

"Oh", Finn sighs.

"Yea there's no easy way of texting about it. Why don't you ask to call her?", Annie suggests, getting up from the table.

"I don't know", I mumble.

"That might actually work. Texting can get misinterpreted. Ask her when the best time to call her is so you can talk", Finn practically yells at me.

"Okay, okay, jeez. Chill", I say and type quickly back to her.

 **PEETA: Can we talk about it over the phone? As you and I both know texting can skew words and I think talking about it aloud would be better.**

I put my phone on the table as I also stand to help Annie in the kitchen.

"No, no. Get. You made dinner, I can clean up", she says shooing me out.

"Okay, okay!", I say grabbing my scotch from the cabinet and two glasses. I lift and nod my head toward Finn on my way out of the kitchen, as I make my way toward the balcony. I pour myself and Finn a shot, waiting for him to enjoy the first sip.

I check my phone to see if she replied and she hasn't. "Ah, none for me", Finn says as he closes the porch door behind.

"Well then, I guess more for me", I sigh out.

"Peet, calm down. Everything is going to be fine", he says patting me on the back.

"Is it really though?", I ask after a few moments.

"With that attitude? No", he says flatly.

"Great", I say into my scotch.

"What's so great?", I hear Annie ask. I look up from my drink just as she's taking her seat next to Finn on the porch couch. She curls up her feet and snuggles into his side. I watch as he takes a heavy breath in and then kisses the top of her forehead. She closes her eyes and sinks deeper into his side. I finish my drink before responding.

"Not my attitude about this", I say setting my empty glass down.

"Don't be so hard on yourself Peeta. You and Katniss both made this mistake together. And now you're dealing with the consequences", Annie says evenly. I never told her the full story and can only assume Finnick confided in her when I confessed to him. "I personally don't know what you're going through but Finn and I had our problems", she says trailing off. Finn's eyes go wide for a brief second and then close tightly in frustration.

"Ann, please not now", Finn says, shifting uncomfortably.

"Did you not tell him?", Annie asks, slightly confused.

"Tell me what?", I ask curiously and cautiously.

"This one here", Annie says poking him on his arm, "cheated on me."

"You what?", I ask astonished.

"I didn't cheat on her", Finn tries to deny but Annie keeps going with the story.

"He slept with another woman while we were separated", Annie says with a shake off her head and my eyes go wide, listening to the story unfold. Finn is shaking his head, but Annie is still pressed into his side. "I told him that we were moving too fast, we were both 23 at the time and I thought I still had more to do on my own than be engaged to be married to a baseball star. Which now sounds extremely idiotic of me but the time we spent separated, I believe actually benefited our relationship."

"That's it? That was the problem?", I ask and then laugh. Finn and Annie look between each other and then to me. "Oh, oh I'm sorry that isn't funny", I say trying to collect myself.

"Actually, if you didn't hear her, the real problem was the engagement part" Finn says softly. "I told you we just hadn't gotten around to it, which is true now, but we were engaged briefly. And like she said she needed to explore and I loved her so much I let her go, thinking she was going to come back within a few weeks. Then a few months passed, and she hadn't so I caved. I slept with a girl named Rose, only once, just as a rebound really. It ended up being really big eye opener actually because it made me realize that Annie was the one for me. I kept telling myself after that, that she would come back to me because she loved me. About a month later, Annie called me and told me she was ready to get married. As relieved as I was, I didn't want to walk back into our relationship without her knowing what had happened. She called it cheating, I called it moving on, since I didn't believe she was going to come back to me. I tried to explain that it didn't mean anything, and it made me realize who I really loved. She didn't buy it and said I broke her heart but mine was broken the day she gave me the ring back. It took her another week to forgive me because while she was off exploring city after city looking for whatever she thought she needed, at the end of the day all she wanted to do was share it with me. We just picked up where we left off, no talk of engagement, no talk of marriage, just us being happy.

"Us getting back together happened just before my first pitcher of the year award season started and all conversation turned to that. I was then traded to the Careers and I asked her to move with me. Her response is still the reason we don't currently have plans on a marriage but are having a child together", he says resting his hand on Annie's stomach.

"I don't even know what to say", I say slowly.

"Yea well, now you know", Finn says, and we fall into silence. I pour myself another shot of scotch as we all watch the last few moments of the sunset. Our silence is broken, however by my phone pinging.

"Aren't you going to check that?", Annie asks when my phone pings again after two minutes. I shrug as I take a sip of my scotch.

"Then I will", Finn says reaching for my phone. "She says 'you can call whenever'. Well there you go Peet. You can call her", Finn says handing my phone to me.

"Yea I don't know if I should", I say, staring blankly at my half empty glass of scotch.

"Well you sure as shit won't be doing it drunk", Annie scolds me and shifts herself off of Finn. "C'mon Finnick I need a massage and then sex because my hormones are crazy right now", she says walking back inside.

"I'll be ready in just a minute", Finn yells after her. He looks around awkwardly for just a moment like he wants to say something but doesn't know how.

"Dude go have sex with your girl. I'll be fine", I say doing my best to convince him and myself.

"Yea, yea okay", he says standing.

"Don't sound so disappointed to have sex, at least you have someone to relieve stress with", I mumble into my glass. Finn slaps me quickly on back and I almost spill my drink. "Hey!"

"Having sex with my pregnant girlfriend only reminds me that I'm gonna be a dad in a few months. Not exactly stress relief", he says to me and turns to yell inside for Annie. She returns moments later with her bag in hand.

"You are going to call her, right Peeta?", Annie says leaning down to hug me.

"I, uh, yea. I think I will", I say softly.

"Great!", she says and grabs Finnick's hand.

"Have good night Peeta!", the say in unison as they make they're way down the stairs. I wave to them and watch as they make the short walk over to Finn's house.

I stare at my phone and then to my scotch side by side with each other hoping some type of answer to this whole mess will come to me. "Oh, for fucks sake", I mumble to myself as I realize how ridiculous I'm being. I put my phone in my pocket and grab the two glasses and bottle and head back into my house.

I pace for a few moments in my kitchen while having a conversation aloud to myself. "Hey, Katniss how's it going? Wait I already know she said it was shit, I'm a horrible person at this. Fuck", I curse in frustration. I stop my pacing when my phone starts ringing. I look down at it slightly relieved its Cato.

"Peeta, we need to talk about how you need to handle the press from now on", he states immediately ignoring all pleasantries.

"I don't want to talk about this right now. Can we just meet earlier tomorrow before batting practice?", I say and wait for a response.

"I guess but we really", he starts but I cut him off.

"I really don't want to deal with this now. I also don't think I need coaching from you about how to handle the media because honestly look where that got me", I say with a huff and hang up. I slam my phone down on the counter and try to control my breathing. My phone starts to ring again and thinking its Cato I pick up quickly.

"God damnit I really meant we could meet and discuss this tomorrow morning before batting practice", I say and wait for his response but there's an awkwardly long pause.

"Well, I'm a few districts away so I don't think that's possible", I hear her voice trail off. I'm so caught off guard by the sound of her, I'm stunned into silence. "Can I assume you thought I was Cato?"

"I, um, yea. Yea I thought you were Cato", I say. "Sorry, I just hung up on him harshly and I thought he was calling back", I say awkwardly.

"Its fine", she says softly. We're silent for almost a minute and I had to check to see if she hung up before she starts talking again. "So," she starts but doesn't continue again.

"So what?", I ask trying to encourage her to bring the topic up.

"I, uh, why did you want to call me?", she asks.

"I, um, I thought it would be easier to talk about the article that was posted yesterday over the phone than through text", I confess and hear a long sigh from her.

"Oh, well what did you want to know?", she asks calmly.

"I, um, uh, well", I start but stumble over what I want to ask.

"Has me publicly kissing someone else undone your ability to formulate words?", she asks, almost sarcastically.

"Uh, I, yea, wait no I mean", I stumble again, pressing my hand onto my forehead.

"Out with it", I hear her hiss.

"You want to hear the whole story?", I ask, diverting to how I thought this conversation might go last night.

"There's a whole story?", she asks skeptically.

"Well, no not really a story. I think it'd be better if I tell you everything that went through my head than ask you really the only question I want answered", I confess.

"I don't need to hear the whole story Peeta. Just ask me your question", she hisses again.

"I, uh okay", I say and already this conversation is going downhill. Before I chicken out again I ask her. "Why did you kiss her?"

"Um, excuses me? That was your burning question?", she asks, and I can hear her slightly offended by it.

"I told you everything would be better than just the question", I state.

"Then give me the whole story than because you don't deserve that answer", she hisses, and I'm taken aback and remain silent for a moment. "Oh, oh god that was bad. I'm sorry Peeta but I'm under a lot of stress and you just doesn't help. You do deserve that answer, but I don't know if I'm ready to tell you", she says softly.

"Its fine Katniss", I say starting to pace around my kitchen. "Is there anyway I can help?", I ask unable to think of any other way to keep the conversation going.

"I guess you could tell me the whole story", she says softly.

"I don't exactly think that matters now", I say, and she remains quiet, I guess so I could elaborate. "Okay, um, basically I had a lot of wild theories going through my head about why you would kiss someone else. But really it comes down to you being single, were probably drunk and it really not being my business. So, I really was just curious as to why you kissed her. I don't really know why answer I'm after but now you know I'm curious about you kissing other people", I sigh out.

"Would you be willing to play a game with me?", she asks after a moment of silence. Her voice is shaky, and I believe it took a lot for her to ask.

"I, uh, sure?", I say skeptically. "What were you thinking?", I ask, already regretting saying yes.

"Sorry for changing the subject but I think you can get your answer if we do this. Basically, we'll ask questions to each other and figure out what is real and not real about one another", she says. "I know it sounds stupid so if you don't want to do it, don't worry", she adds the last part almost as an after-thought.

"Uh what?", confused over what she would want to know was either real or fake.

"I guess to be more specific, we ask each other questions about the past nine months, about what was said, what was done, to figure out where we stand", she says quietly, her voice shaking more. "It's really fine if you don't want to Peeta. You don't have to. I'll understand if you don't want to hear from me again. It was stupid of me to ask anyways", she says mumbling the last part. I let her finish mumbling some other things about her being fine, everything happens for a reason. We're quiet for a moment and I let her breathing settle slightly before responding.

"Okay", I say.

"Really?", Katniss says slightly happier than before.

"Yes really. Katniss, I want you in my life. I want to explain everything. I want this to work and I guess the start is right now, with this game, to figure everything out that happen over the past nine months", I say, surprising myself with my honesty.

"Peeta," she starts and takes a long pause before continuing, "you were always better at words than I was."

"That is very real", I chuckle slightly, already playing into this weird game she has started us on.

"I see what you did there", she laughs slightly before we fall into another silence.

"Now how do we really start this?", I ask, more out of wanting to hear her voice than to actually play this game.

"Um, well I guess I went first so your turn", she states confidently.

"Ah, well then", I say, starting to pace around my kitchen again. "Um, okay, your favorite color is green right?" I ask and immediately regret asking such a stupid question when I hear her laughing.

"I give you an opportunity to ask your burning question again and you go for my favorite color?", she says continuing to laugh.

"You said it once in an interview when we first started this whole thing and I kinda want a baseline on you. I want to know if even the little details you told during interviews were really you or if you made up a whole person just for this", I spit out faster than she can stop laughing.

"Oh", she stops abruptly. "I'm sorry. I just, I didn't. I don't know what I was expecting but yes that was real. My favorite color is in fact green. More specifically," she starts but I cut her off.

"The color of the forest leaves in midsummer", I state over her. "That's what you said in the interview." She quiet for a few moments before she talks again.

"Are you looking at the magazine that its printed in right now?", she asks skeptically.

"No, Katniss I'm not. I told you I paid attention", I start and continue before she can interrupt. "I wasn't just a lifeless person next to you in interviews, I listened because I wanted to get to know you. It wasn't exactly the circumstances I was hoping for, but I guess if that's true, I probably know more about you than you think I do."

"So, you were being serious the other night", she starts, and I can tell she's contemplating what to say next because the last word trails off. "But you, you always acted like you hated me from the start?", she hesitantly asks.

"Uh, yea I acted so that's real, but I never hated you. I hated the circumstances we were in" I say and pause and let my confession sink in. She doesn't respond so I continue, "I hated that you were with someone else. That you only signed on because you were getting paid. I hated what I did to get me in this situation. I have never once hated you. Wait, not real. I probably hated you for a few weeks after I tripped over you", I say laughing slightly.

"I just don't understand," she whispers, and I can feel myself growing angrier because she's going to have to make me say it.

"God, Katniss. I was jealous. I was jealous of Gale. That he got everything. He got the real you. All I got to do was kiss you. I never got to appreciate you. Treat you like you should be treated. I was jealous and still am. And I hate myself for that. I hate that I was jealous. I hate that I agreed even after you showed your disapproval. I hate myself. Okay Katniss? Does that clear things up?", I say, almost yelling into the phone.

"You were jealous?", she asks weakly.

I let out a large sigh as I realize how oblivious she really is to everything. "Yes, Katniss I was jealous. So jealous in fact that when Gale asked me to out ourselves, I did it because I didn't want to hurt you anymore. If I didn't care at all for you I would have let Madge leak the photos and quite honestly, she might still go to the press and unveil the other side of the story. Have you talked to her lately?"

"No and I don't exactly plan on it", she says flatly. "She would have been better off revealing this story two weeks ago when it was new instead of waiting. It won't have any merit now. Or she's waiting", she says stopping mid-sentence.

"She's waiting for what?", I ask her frantically unsure of what exactly Madge would be waiting for.

"She's waiting for us to be together. She knows everything. She would ruin both of us. Oh god, Peeta. This is never going to work", she says quietly, confessing her fears.

"You want us to be together?", I say stunned.

"That's what you got from that?", she says quickly, slightly angry.

"Well yea. Would it be so bad if she ruined us, but we were still together?", I ask, slightly confused at her anger.

"I, I don't know Peeta. I still need time to figure this out, but I did enjoy our conversation. Can we do it again sometime?", she asks quickly.

"Always Katniss", I breathe out and am about to say goodnight when there's a weird sound from her side.

"One second!", Katniss yells and then I hear a door open. "Gale?"

"Gale? What is he doing there?", I say angerly into the phone.

"I have to go", she says softly and then we're disconnected.

"Well shit", I sigh and pour another shot of wh for myself before heading off to bed.

Session 4: Thursday March 6

"Katniss, I know you're distraught, which is obvious from your demeanor, but I need to know exactly what is bothering you", Cinna says again gently. He's been trying to coax me out of my silence, but I don't know where to start. Gale showed up to my apartment unexpectantly when I was on the phone with Peeta and our conversation has kept me from sleeping the past two nights.

"I don't know where to start", I say quietly, and I can feel tears pricking my eyes.

"Just start from the beginning", he encourages.

"Well I was on the phone with Peeta", I start, and he cuts me off.

"You were on the phone with Peeta? That's wonderful. What did you talk about?", he says a little too happily which infuriates me. I try to hide it but his slight smile fades away just as quickly as it appeared. "You aren't upset over Peeta and you, are you?", he asks.

"Nope. As I was saying I was on the phone with Peeta when Gale knocked on my door", I say completing my previous sentence and watch Cinna's eyes go wide and then watch him nod his head to encourage me to continue. I take a breath in before telling him my conversation with Gale.

 _"I have to go", I say into the phone and hang up on Peeta quickly as Gale and I continue to stare each other down._

 _"May I come in?", Gale asks weakly._

 _"Um, yea, sure", I say, surprising myself at my acceptance of him._

 _"Who was on the phone?", he asks awkwardly, obviously trying to start a conversation._

 _"Joanna", I lie._

 _"Are you sure it wasn't Peeta?", he accuses a little too quickly._

 _"So? What if it was?", I retort back._

 _"I, I don't know", he says quickly._

 _"Exactly", I say moving back into my kitchen. I had just finished cleaning up from dinner when I built up the courage to call him, instead of him calling me. Our conversation didn't exactly go as I had planned but I think Peeta and I are on the same page about being together. He may want us now, but I need more time to process what that would mean. Which I guess seems silly, but I think he understands. "Why are you hear?", I finally ask Gale since he's being quiet._

 _"I wanted to ask you something and I thought it would be best asked in person", he says._

 _"That seems to be the topic of the evening", I mumble._

 _"What?", Gale asks quickly after._

 _"That's very logical of you but a heads up would have been better than you showing up at my door", I say, crossing my arms and leaning back against the counter. I watch as Gale takes a seat at the bar top. There's only a small kitchen between us but it feels like more._

 _"I know but I want your honesty. I didn't want you to dwell on our meeting or over think it, so I just showed up", he says shrugging._

 _"I guess that makes sense?", I ask skeptically. We stare at each other silently, neither of us wanting to break eye contact._

 _"Katniss?", he asks to break the silence. I remain silent and watch as his eye shake slightly. "Did you ever really love me?", he asks quietly, almost in a whisper. His question catches me off guard and now I know why he showed up unannounced. My arms and mouth drop in shock of his question. Waves of emotion come over me as I try to process what he's asking of me._

 _"Gale, I", I fumble on my words for a few seconds, unable to complete a sentence._

 _"Because that's what I've been asking myself these past few weeks. And if I'm being honest, what I was asking myself deep down for months", he spits out, his sadness turning to anger. "I should have listened to myself a year ago when you said you didn't want marriage. I should have left. Because that's what I want. I want to marry someone and have a family with them. And you didn't want either of those things but you said you loved me so I stayed because you wanted forever. Then you turned around and accepted this ridiculous contract. You hurt me Katniss. You hurt me more than you could know._

 _"You signing that contract was you saying we didn't matter. We weren't real. But I was the idiot that thought deep down you still loved me and you did this for your family and that was all. But the god damn pictures were so hard to get over. I kept telling myself it was acting. You were acting like you were in love with Peeta. However, I knew you were lying to one of us and I was so convinced it was me. So I cheated on you with Madge. It was hard the first time, but she convinced me wasn't cheating since technically you were with Peeta. After that it was a lot easier. I still regret it, but she made life easier. She at least listened to my concerns about Peeta. You never did._

 _"You hurt me Katniss. I don't care what you say, because I know even if you say you did at one point in our past four years together love me, I'll know it wasn't true. Because who accepts a contract like you did when they are in love and want to spend the rest of their life with someone? You can say what you want but I needed you to know this. I needed you to know I am going to hate you for the rest of my life. That you hurt me more than you thought you did. That I know you love Peeta and you need to accept that now before you lose him too._

 _"Katniss, I really wish we could go back a year ago, to when I wanted to propose knowing that you didn't want to get married. But then again I don't. I'm so happy now I don't have to be burdened by you not wanting what I want. That I don't have to settle for less than I deserve. You destroyed a part of me when you said no Katniss, did you know that? I know you wanted forever but I thought if I could just get you to marry me, maybe kids would be in our future, which I know is selfish but god damn I wanted a life with you. I wanted it all and almost had it. But Peeta. Peeta walked in to your life and swept you right off your feet in front of me and you didn't even realize it. Or at least not until now._

 _"So, Katniss. Did you ever love me?", he asks, sighing heavily._

 _"Of course I loved you" I say weakly, tears pricking my eyes. "I loved you the only way I knew how and obviously it wasn't enough."_

 _"And that's exactly why we were never going to work even if you wanted forever. The way you knew how was never going to be enough for me", Gale says gently back. He's looking away from me, trying to hold back tears._

 _"Gale, I", I start but end up crying. I try to collect myself enough to say what I want to but resort to saying it through sobs when obviously I can't control myself. "The way I knew how was because I didn't want to lose you. I loved our secret at first because I was able to keep you from the world, that if we broke up it wouldn't be a huge mess to deal with. As time went on though I realized our secret wasn't just a meaningless relationship and you wanted more, you wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. I wanted to stay in our bubble, and I was scared. I accepted that contract so we could stay in our bubble a little longer. I know you wanted to tell people and I did too, but it gave me an out. Which sounds so pathetic but it was going to delay things for six months._

 _"I never planned for things to go the way they did with Peeta because I thought I hated him. I thought it would be easier to get through it with someone that hated me. I was wrong, he never hated me. And his over zealous self has gotten us into this position we're in now. So, I apologize Gale. I apologize for putting you through this. For thinking that after six months with Peeta, we would have been able to go back to normal. But I was wrong because I extended our contract. And now were here._

 _"Gale, I loved you and never meant to hurt you, but I did. I did this. You may have cheated but that was probably the best thing you could have done for us. I really hope that answers that", I say wiping my tears away._

 _"It does Katniss. Thank you", he gets up and starts towards the door. "And Katniss?", he asks turning back toward me._

 _"Yea?"_

 _"Don't be as naïve with him as you were with me in the beginning", he says smiling weakly, nods his head and then walks out the door._

"Well your homework for this weekend is already complete", Cinna says nonchalantly afterward.

"Excuse me?", I say slightly offended.

"I was going to tell you to talk with Gale but obviously you, or at least he took care of that", Cinna says shrugging his shoulders. I narrow my eyes at him because he's ignoring the biggest part of the conversation I had with him.

"You do realize I told him I was the reason for all of this?", I ask harshly.

"Oh trust me. I'm extremely pleased at your conversation with him. Mainly because you are finally accepting responsibility. Honestly I don't think you would have done that two weeks ago", he says calmly. "This is the second part of what I wanted you to realize. You needed to come to terms with you hurting someone else. The next is for you to be open to Peeta", he says casually.

"Oh well I think I covered that with my conversation with him before Gale's", I say.

"Well you did this backwards", he says chuckling. I narrow my eyes at him, confused by what he means. "Okay, I thought you would have come to terms with hurting Gale before opening up to Peeta", he says, calming himself. I'm still looking at him skeptically because he's stilling confusing me.

"We've barely talked about Gale. How did you know I had hurt him?", I ask cautiously.

"You accepted a contract while still in a relationship. Of course, you hurt him. You may have thought you were protecting what you had and that made you blind to what you did to him. Now that you have had time to look at everything, realize what happened, you understand you hurt him", he says harshly. "Katniss, you were placing blame on others. You needed to understand that this was on you. And now that you finally understand why you're here, hurting Gale and wanting to be with Peeta, we can finally start on putting you back together."

"What?", I ask after a few moments trying to process what he means.

"You. You lost yourself did you not in the last year?", Cinna questions. I nod in confusion and curiosity. "Stop me if I'm wrong but you let yourself be controlled by an outside force and from the last two weeks with you, that doesn't exactly seem like you. We have to work on you, why you lost yourself, how to not let it happen again and most importantly what you want now and in the future."

"That seems like a lot", I say softly, taking in what he's suggesting.

"I know but you've done the hard part. We have the fun part ahead of us", he says, smiling softly.

"Fun part? Trying to figure out why I lost myself hardly seems like fun to me", I say weakly.

"The fun part means us not dwelling on the past but learning from it", he says nodding.

"And to think I was starting to like you", I sigh, slumping slightly into the couch.

"Well I'm not here to be your friend, Katniss", he says firmly, looking at me over his glasses. "As I've said before I'm here to listen and then tell you what I think,"

"And if I take the advice is up to me and has no real effect on you other than you having to change your course of action for me. Yea I remember", I say cutting him off.

"Good", he says and readjusts his glasses. He leans back in his chair and probably writes down what I told him about Gale. I look around the room again, not knowing what to say next. I contemplate telling him about my conversation with Peeta but knowing Cinna that's his next question. "Now did you want to tell me about your phone call with Peeta?", he asks, breaking our silence. I have to refrain from rolling my eyes because I was right.

"It didn't go as I expected", I say quietly, rubbing my palms on my jeans. I don't know why I'm nervous to tell Cinna everything when it hasn't really been a problem.

"You're going to have to elaborate on that Katniss", he says, nodding his head for encouragement.

I sigh heavily before telling him everything. Cinna is relatively quiet while I talk and is actually paying attention and no writing ever word I say down. "And then Gale knocked on the door. I haven't texted Peeta since nor has he texted me", I say, closing my eyes and shaking my head.

"Are you disappointed with your conversation with Peeta, Katniss?", Cinna inquires quickly.

"No?", I say confused as to why he would suggest that.

"Then stop acting like it", he says harshly.

"I,", I start, stunned by his response.

"Katniss, you ended your explanation but shaking your head at everything just because of your conversation with Gale", he says softer but still with urgency. He takes a noticeable breath in before continuing. "Which, by the way, you handled remarkably well. I can't tell you to be happy about it, but you talked to Peeta, granted you yelled at him, but you recovered. Be happy with the progress at least.

"You also need to get over the fact that someone might want to ruin you. Madge clearly has no more intentions of doing so and even if she did, you and Peeta have started the game. Focus on that", he says, gesturing his hands to know one.

"You really think that?", I ask temidly afraid of saying what I told Peeta out loud again.

"I do", Cinna says reassuringly.

"Okay, then I want to be with Peeta. I want to be with Peeta no matter what happens", I say strongly.

"I don't think I'm the one you should be telling this to", he says lightly.

"Right", I say smiling.

* * *

 **A/N: Please review, fave, follow because idk if I'm going to continue this story or if I do there's going to be a jump forward and by that I mean probably two or three months...I'll keep writing and go from there. love y'all.**


	13. Dress

**A/n: I know its been awhile, like a long time. And I could give excuses but this has been written and edited multiple times. I finally decided after months of annoynace of the plot to revisit it and am happy with the result. Don't forget to follow, fave and review!**

* * *

*two months later*

"Strike three", the umpire yells. Peeta whips around quickly obviously upset with himself.

"He does not look happy", Joanna not so subtly whispers toward me.

"Yea, well I don't really know anything about baseball except that a six game 'no hit' streak probably isn't good", I say, sipping my beer casually.

The last few months have been a whirlwind since I told Peeta I wanted to be with him. We decided to take things slow and fly as close to under the radar as possible with our relationship. I told Joanna right away what was going on and she was absolutely thrilled for us. Honestly, I was shocked that she was so happy, until she realized I didn't tell anyone else, including Haymitch.

" _Are you fucking serious Katniss?_ _You're pulling this shit again?", Joanna yells._

" _We're taking it slow. The last time our "relationship" went from zero to one hundred in less than one second and we don't exactly want this to blow up in our faces", I yell back. I let my statement sink in for a moment before continuing. "This wasn't an easy decision for us. Peeta suggested it, I tired to push back and he saw where I was coming from. But I ultimately agreed with him. If we laid low for a while, let all scandal and gossip pass over us we would be able to be a couple without media attention. And so far so good."_

" _Wait, how long have you been together?", she askes skeptically._

" _Um, about two weeks", I say._

" _Well I guess this is better than the last one", she says rolling her eyes._

" _What's that supposed to mean?", I ask, narrowing my eyes._

" _Well it took me and Madge walking in on you and Gale for you to confess. So, I guess this time around things will end up better?", she ask raising her eyebrows._

" _I don't know what you're talking about", I say sighing, taking a hefty sip of my wine._

" _I'm just saying that Peeta and you shouldn't have to hide. There really isn't a reason. Everyone thought you were together anyways. Why not celebrate you two exactly realizing you belong together?", she asks angrily._

" _Because I don't want to lose him so quickly!", I yell at her and I see her recoil back. "Its not so easy for us to just come out and tell everyone we've decided to be together. I wish it was but for right now were getting to know each other outside of the media's eye and I wanted to tell you because I thought you'd be happy for me. I didn't expect you to come back with the Gale situation", I spat out in anger. The look on her face quickly turns from horror to anger in less than a second and she yells right back at me._

" _Because lying and concealing Gale was the worst mistake of your life Katniss! You shouldn't have done that to him. Or even yourself", she yells and takes a large breath in. "God, get over yourself and realize that Peeta and you could actually be something. And something you should be proud of. Katniss you are worth something, and Peeta sees that and you should tell people. Tell the world. Tell everyone that matters, like me, like your sister, your mother, like Peeta. Tell Peeta that you want to tell the world about you."_

" _I just don't know anymore", I confess weakly. "I want to tell people but our little bubble of getting to know each other is so comfortable, I really didn't fight it. We could live in a bubble or out and it wouldn't matter because I want to be with him no matter what. I want him and that's what matter._

" _With Gale, I just wanted him and our bubble. Our secret was better than what could happen otherwise. With Peeta, I don't know. It feels right, more of just a 'we aren't telling anyone right now rather than a we aren't telling anyone ever'. It just feels right Joanna. What don't you understand of that? And besides how is this any different now than you and Darius?" I watch as her eyes go wide at the mention of him. "Yep, I'm going there because you two need to just stop fooling around with each other and be together."_

" _I, wow", she says, shocked. "Darius and I, we. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, but we are together. I didn't want to tell you while you were in therapy trying to figure things out with Peeta. I'd say were dating but I think we're a little more serious I guess", she says shrugging._

" _Jo, really?", I ask happily._

" _Yea and if you make a big deal out of this I'm going to cut you", she says her smile growing._

" _It is a big deal! I'm so happy for you! Now can you be happy for me and Peeta?", I ask_

" _If it makes you happy than I guess it doesn't matter how you do this does it?", she says after a long pause._

" _No, it doesn't, and I want to see what Peeta and I could possibly have. And it starts with me and Peeta learning about each other in a bubble as friends. And no matter how long that takes, you can't get involved", I say with a small smile._

" _Deal", she smiles back._

"Yea, well you should tell your boyfriend that", she says rolling her eyes.

"Oh shush", I say with a smile and a roll of my eyes at her term for Peeta. I know I told Joanna I was with Peeta but to call him my boyfriend at this point is a little premature. We haven't even been on a date because of how busy we both are. I started back at Capitol Bistro a few weeks ago and have just now caught up on inventory counts.

Peeta can be in town for a whole week but have off days when I absolutely have to work and then he could be gone for up to ten. He had to give up the apartment across from mine when he returned from spring training since our contract was broken so trying to meet up with each other isn't exactly a walk in the park. For the past six weeks we've just been talking at the end of the day. Some conversations only last for a few minutes where others I found our phone call still active after hours of being asleep.

" _When do you get back?", I ask casually._

" _Sunday night, late", I hear him sigh into the phone._

" _And when does the next series start at home?", I ask trying to figure out when we could even possibly see each other when he's in the Capitol._

" _Monday. I don't have a day off until Wednesday if you're trying to figure out when we can go out", he says quickly. "I'm sorry, I really want to take you on a proper date but were getting into the hard part of the season. I don't know how much more of this waiting game I can play", he says, his voice trailing._

" _What are you saying Peeta?", I say, trying to figure out what he could mean._

" _God, Everdeen. Why are you always so naïve to what I want from you?", he asks firmly. "I want you. I want to put my hands on you, I want to touch you, I want to kiss you. There's so much I want to do with you, its driving me crazy"._

" _Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting Mellark?", I ask with my best flirtatious voice. We've had a few conversations that have turned into us hinting that we want to sleep with each other but neither of us have blatantly said it as Peeta has. I can feel myself slowly being turned on by him possibly venturing into this topic._

" _Of course, I'm suggesting what you think I am. But that's not me and that's not how I want to do this with you", he says. "Is there any date that you could spare this coming week?", he asks after few moments._

" _I'm off Tuesday this week", I say sadly, knowing that's probably not going to work. He's silent for a few moments aside from a few tapping noises. I'm about to ask him what's wrong when he speaks again._

" _Great, you and a friend now have tickets to that game along our dugout. Afterward I'm taking you out to dinner, be ready", he says confidently._

" _Wait, really?", I ask, shocked that were actually making this happen._

" _Yea really. I have allotted tickets and the ones behind our dugout just happened to be available at this hour" he says excitedly. "And after the game, so long as it doesn't go into extra innings I'm taking you to dinner."_

" _Well, I guess it's a date than Mellark", I say smiling into the phone._

" _It will be indeed Everdeen. I do have to say good night though because we have an early flight to district 3 in the morning. Good night Katniss."_

" _Good night, Peeta"_

That conversation was a week ago and I can't help but think that my date with him is throwing him off his game. We made eye contact earlier, I wanted to wave but I didn't want to bring attention to myself, so I ended up looking away quickly. I watch as he jogs out to the outfield and then I just stare blankly, imaging all the ways tonight could go right and horribly wrong. I'm shaken out of it by Joanna nudging my side.

"Jeez, you okay over there? I ask you a question and all you did was stare into the outfield", Joanna says.

"I'm fine. Just thinking of tonight", I say quietly.

"Yea? What about it?", she questions.

"About all the ways it could go right. So right. And then I remember I'm me and that it's probably going to go horribly wrong", I confess to her, trying to keep as quiet as possible.

"Oh, c'mon Kat. You two have been on a few dates before. Granted they were fake but just be yourself. That's what he's going to want", she says matching my tone.

"Yea, I guess", I say finishing my beer.

Finnick is throwing incredibly well, with few balls leaving the infield. Peeta looks bored out in the outfield and I laugh to myself as he does small movements as Finnick pitches.

"What's so funny?" Jo asks me, and I realize I haven't been so silent.

"Oh, nothing really. Peeta just said he slowly does random dance moves in the outfield to stay active when Finnick pitches. I've never seen him play live so I don't know, it's just funny", I say shrugging. Joanna gives me a weird side eye which turns into the biggest smile she's ever given me. "What?", I ask skeptically.

"Nothing", she says continuing to smile. "You have absolutely nothing to worry about tonight."

"If you say so", I say, and we fall into a comfortable silence. We watch as Finnick continues to dominate through another two innings before being pulled in a scoreless game. The relief pitcher gives up a run in the top of the ninth and the energy of the home crowd is effectively gone with the bottom of the order up to bat.

I suggest leaving early knowing Peeta probably won't bat again and that they are more than likely going to lose. Joanna, however wants to see this out because she has a good feeling. I roll my eyes and sit down as I watch the first batter strike out. "You owe me a drink if I end up being right", I say.

"And you owe me a bottle of wine if I'm right", she says happily.

"Fine", I say, watching as the second batter grounds out. The crowd is slowly retreating back with the realization that the game is over. "So, I'm thinking of a really nice glass of Julienne will be in order after this", I say turning to Joanna, raising my eyebrows.

"I wouldn't get your hopes up too high, Kat", she says just as the leadoff hitter blasts a double toward right field. "If your boy can at least hit the ball, we've got a game!", she says happily. I grumble my annoyance at not being able to leave and the possibility of me being wrong.

"Well, with the way he's been hitting, you owe me a drink", I mumble and sit up in my seat. Peeta had been in the on deck circle and hadn't looked back where Jo and I were sitting since warmups until now. We hold an uncomfortably long stare as the announcer says his name over the speaker. I give him a small smile and a thumbs up and receive the equal as he turns to head for the batter's box.

"I don't expect much from it but maybe, just maybe he could just hit one" and before I could finish my thought to Joanna, Peeta hit ball fall into the left field seats. I shut up after that and watch as he battles with the pitcher, fouling off a few and taking a few balls to a full count.

"God, damn. If he does this", Joanna says and we both rise to our feet in anticipation. Peeta fouls off another pitch bringing this at bat to eight faced so far.

"Yea, if he does", I whisper and silently pray that he does. I watch as the pitcher throws another pitch and I close my eyes unable to watch as it could be the last one, but I hear a loud crack and then a loud resounding scream from the remaining crowd. I open my eyes as I watch the baseball leave the field and land far up in the outfield stands.

"He did it!", Joanna yells in my face. "Oh my God!". She's hugging me tightly as I stand in shock watching as he makes a victory trot around the bases.

"He did it", I whisper back and try to contain my excitement for Peeta.

"You owe me a bottle of wine now", Joanna says as we exit the stadium trying our best to make it toward the subway.

"Yea, yea", I say rolling my eyes.

"Oh, don't do that. You're excited for him and for tonight. Don't pout too much", she says, laughing.

"Sure", I say dragging out the word. We leave the stadium with smiles on our faces, joking about what bottle I need to purchase for her. We make it back to my apartment and she insists on helping me get ready before she heads out.

"This is not happening", I say, twisting in the mirror. Jo and I went shopping yesterday before work for an outfit because she told me my closet lacked style and we, or should I say she, found a few acceptable options as she put them.

"You looking stunning! Didn't you say this was his favorite color?", Jo asks casually.

"Yea, but"

"Yea, but what? You look amazing so shut up!", she practically yells, and I shut up as I twist a few more times accepting what she's put me in. It's an ombre orange cocktail dress that has cuts right at the waist. It hugs every inch of my body and nothing is left to the imagination, the hem dropping just above mid thigh. I tired wearing a bra, but Joanna came behind me undoing it.

"Hey!", I practically yell as she struggles to pull the strapless bra around.

"The dress is tight enough there to hold the girls in place. Plus you need no lift help", she says after getting the bra free. I turn back to the mirror and realize she's right.

"Okay, okay. Fine, I'll do as you say", I say rolling my eyes.

Jo hangs around awhile longer, and we chat aimlessly. I think it's so I don't change outfits, but she says it's because Darius isn't finished with his portion of inventory for the day

"Alright, now don't do anything I wouldn't do", she says winking on her way out the door.

"There's hardly anything you wouldn't do Jo, so that's going to be pretty hard", I yell at her and watch her enter the elevator shrugging her shoulders. Peeta told me earlier that it would take at least two hours post game before he could even get out of the stadium, so I wait on the couch and watch Netflix until he texts me.

I'm barely ten minutes into an episode when there's a knock at the door. "Seriously Jo? What did you", I stop mid-sentence when I realize Jo isn't at the door.

"You look incredible", Peeta says with a sheepish smile on his face. He's in a tight-fitting dress shirt with a bright blue tie and black dress slacks. If I wasn't so hungry I would pull him toward my bedroom by his tie.

"Um, thank you", I say shaking my head of my thoughts. "I thought it was a little much, but I guess not with the way you're dressed."

"You could be wearing sweats and I would think you looked like a million bucks", he says quietly, pulling me into an embrace.

"Peeta", I breathe out as he pulls me in closer. His hands linger on my sides as I feel him breathe in slowly. He pulls back just as I'm about to lean my head on his shoulder.

"Shall we?", he asks, raising his eyebrows and giving me a mischievous smile.

"I guess we shall", I say and allow him to pull me into the hallway. We ride down the elevator in silence, barely touching each other and I watch as the numbers slowly tick down. When we arrive on the bottom floor, Peeta takes my hand and leads me out the back entrance instead of to the main street.

"I like walking for food, but I don't really know anywhere you could possibly be taking me looking like this within walking distance", I tell Peeta as we exit the back door of the building. We've only ever used this door when we absolutely needed to avoid the paparazzi, which according to Haymitch was never so I guess I'm not that surprised when we walk out and a pick-up truck is parked along the curb.

"Good thing I have a ride for us", he says with a smirk.

"You aren't taking me to a restaurant are you Peeta?", I ask putting the pieces together that he has been planning this for weeks.

"Not in the city at least", he says as he opens the truck door for me. He helps me up into the cabin and I watch as he closes the door behind me and quickly walks around. "I really hope you like car rides", he says smiling and starting his truck.

"Depends on who they are with, where we're going and if there are snacks available", I say looking around his truck for any clues as to what he has planned.

"Well I hope you'd be happy to ride along with me because we have about an hour drive", he says turning onto the main street. "And I know you get hungry easily, so I packed a small travel bag with snacks", he laughs pointing to the bag on the back seat.

"I'm very happy to be here Peeta", I breathe out slowly as I feel an impulse to reach across and touch his leg. I refrain and turn around to grab the aforementioned bag of snacks. I open it and see an array of crackers, jam and salamis. "Did you really pack half a charcuterie board in here?", I question him, my eyes going wide.

"Well I didn't know what else to pack that was easily transferable, easy to eat, and you would like", he says chuckling. I roll my eyes, ripping open the package of crackers.

"Thank you", I say, slowly nibbling into the first cracker.

"You're welcome", he says turning toward me with a smile, which I return. We remain silent for the next few minutes as we make our way out of the city. Besides my chewing of crackers, the radio playing what appears to be a Drake based station on a relatively low volume is the only thing breaking the silence. Its strangely calming as I look out the window, watching the city disappear behind us. I have a small suspicion as to where he's taking us and can only confirm by his final turn onto the interstate headed west.

"Are you taking me where I'm thinking you are?", I say suspiciously.

"If you think I'm taking you to the woods of District 12 then you would be wrong", he jokes.

"Well of course not those woods", I say rolling my eyes. "I just meant you've planned something out in the woods. There's not much west of the city except for Capitol Woods and Rocky Mountain Resort."

"You'd be correct", he says smiling largely, glancing over at me. I don't know what it is, but his smile makes my stomach do flips. I immediately look away as memories of him the last time he smiled that way at me flood my brain.

" _Haymitch, please. I really don't want to do this", I say, scrolling through my phone absent mindedly._

" _Well you have no choice now. The contract is already written up, you two just have to sign it in person to make it official", he says._

" _Yea well this would have been a lot easier if this wasn't with Peeta or that I wasn't in a relationship", I mumble slumping down into my chair_

" _Keep your opinions to yourself. I don't think he knows that you know who he is," he says as the conference room doors open. My eyes go wide, and I can feel my nostrils flare at his comment, not daring to turn toward. I try my best to ignore him, but his hand is extended, and he has a stupid, toothy grin on his face._

" _I'm only here so I can pay for my bills. You can keep your fucking hand to yourself", I hear myself say, trying my best to ignore his smile. The smile that almost always made me feel something when I was in high school. The smile that almost made me want to slap him each time I saw it. I never knew why but I never could stand his smile. Maybe it was because he also looked happy and no one could ever be that happy, ever._

I chuckle at the memory and aimlessly rummage through the bag for something for my hands to do.

"What?", I hear him breathe.

"Nothing", I say, taking another bite of Italian salami.

"Well that chuckle would suggest otherwise since I never said anything to warrant a chuckle out of you", he says raising his eyebrows.

"I, uh, just remembered the first time we meet after high school" I say slowly.

"You mean when we signed the contract?"

"Yea", I say weakly.

"What about it?

"You just, you. You were you. You smiled a toothy grin like you always did in high school. You just did the same thing and I got butterflies," I say shrugging my shoulders, shaking my head.

"My smile? That's what made you think of that day?"

"Yea?"

"Of all the things, me smiling, I would have never thought anything would remind you of that day when we signed the contract other than actually bringing up that day", he says shaking his head.

"It took everything in me to ignore you that day. Maybe it would have been easier if I wasn't so hostile toward you, but", I breathe out, as I watch Peeta exit. I slowly start to put together where he's made a reservation but continue on as if I don't know.

"But I was dating Gale, happy and content. Then Haymitch just threw me into this without really talking to me about it. And when he told me it was you, I was so angry. And I lashed out of him, threatened to walk away and then he told me how much more money I'd get if I would agree.

"Gale was insistent that I didn't take it either. Even given the money. I don't know what I was arguing with him about really because I should have said no. Then I over heard a phone conversation between Haymitch and your agent. Haymitch said 'no, she doesn't know that if she says no Peeta contract is most likely over, and I don't plan on telling her that'.

"For a moment, hearing those words, made me realize that this was a two-way deal. I went back to Gale and with the written contract that I would sign later with you and it triggered the biggest argument we ever had. I couldn't tell him about what I heard and that I felt bad.

"The days leading up to us signing, well, Gale became cold and I started to really regret feeling bad for you. I became really angry and starting to remember high school and I promised myself I would always hate you. Hate you for making my feel something, for making me feel like I absolutely had to do this outside of needing more money. I, I just wish that was how we met again. Everything would be easier now if I wasn't dating Gale. Easier if apparently we had said anything in passing during high school", I say and watch his soft smile disappear. "Easier if we had started dating without strings or attachments or even the media."

"I don't see why that's a problem now", Peeta says looking between me and the road. "I know we haven't talked about this much Katniss, but I don't care about what has happened. I care more about our future and what we could have together", he says.

"Peeta",

"No, listen,", he says sternly. "What has happened has happened but that doesn't really bother me. You don't have to explain the past to me. I know what happened. I fucked up too, if you remember. If I was smarter we wouldn't have had to go through what we did. And I would be lying if we ran into each other in the city and I didn't try to hook up or even yet try to be your friend.

"I was a shit person in high school. I had one goal drilled into my head and had little time for anything else. But that doesn't excuse me from being a shit person to you after you broke my arm. Truth is once my mom found out who broke my arm all I heard around the house was how horrible you were and that I couldn't be your friend so I guess I just went with it. That's my biggest regret in life if you were wondering, because I wish I could go back and not be such dick to you.

"I was so terrified when I walked into that room a year ago. Terrified I would actually have to face feelings I pushed down so many years. When you didn't shake my hand and said it was just for money, I was so determined to make you fall for me. And maybe I did, in the worst way because I know we destroyed friendships over the last year and it fucking sucks, Katniss.

"But enough about the past, what I want now is you. I want you the way you are. I want you because you make me smile even if you think you don't. I want you because you are you. Which probably doesn't make sense. But I want you. I want you to yell at me when I do wrong. I want you to smile at me when I make you happy. I want you to laugh at my stupidest jokes. I want you, Katniss."

I blink a few times and watch him as he looks between me and the road. I let the silence ride out as I try to comprehend what he just said. He wants me.

"Peeta?", I ask slowly, keeping my eyes on the road in front of us.

"Yes, Katniss?"

"I want you", I say not making eye contact with him. I can see out of the corner of my eye his nod and I continue to look forward. We're silent as he drives through the back roads of Capitol Woods and I watch as his eyes move back and forth from the road to me.

I only know of one place he could be taking us and am increasing anxious as we drive closer. When we left the Capitol, I thought he was taking me on an evening picnic in the woods but realize his turns away from Capitol Park are taking us toward the luxurious Rocky Mountain Resort.

"Peeta, you do realize you've turned down the only road that leads to Rocky Mountain Resort, right?", I ask.

He side eyes me and says, "Yes I have. I may have figured you would have been able to guess where we were going. I just didn't want to ruin anything before this" he says as he turns past the sign of the resort.

The fine dining restaurant, The Chalet, takes months in advance to book for an outside of the resort dining reservation. "Peeta, how did you even get this reservation?", I say in a quiet voice, hoping not to be heard.

"Well, Coach Beetee owed me a favor so", he says quietly pulling in front of guest check-in. We both turn toward each other and hold each other's gazes as I realize that he had to do something in the past to warrant a favor this size. "C'mon now", he says smiling and slides out of his side.

I allow the bellhop to open my door and let Peeta's words sink in. He quickly greets me as I adjust my dress. "Favor?" I raise my eyebrows and he shrugs his shoulder and takes my hand in his as he leads me in the door.

"Hi, I have a reservation at 'The Chalet' for two under Peeta Mellark at 8:00", he says to the well-dressed man behind the counter. They exchange a few more words that I ignore as I turn around and admire the entrance to this resort. I may work in a fine dining restaurant, with incredible wine and execute on the Capitols top service standards, but I'm still intimated by what it most cost to even stay one night here.

For Peeta's coach to even get this reservation is incredible and I know this dinner is not going to be cheap. Right after Gale and I started dating I considered applying here but ultimately didn't because I didn't think I had an enough experience to warrant a place like this. This place fell out of my mind as a place to work as I moved up at Capitol Bistro, but now maybe a move out of the city, away from the chaos and into one of the countries largest wine cellars would be what I need to restart my life.

"Katniss?", Peeta's voice interrupts my thoughts. I turn away from the painting I was staring at to see a boy in a polo and slacks standing awkwardly next to Peeta. The poor kid looks barely 18, skinny as can be, and is either starstruck by Peeta or is intimidated by the size difference. Peeta extends his hand out toward me and I let my body do what feels right and let my hand slide into his.

We follow the boy a few steps behind as he leads us out a door to an awaiting car. Tyler, I learn from his name tag, opens the door for me and Peeta lets go of my hand after helping me in. I'm alone only briefly and finally have a second to let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. Simultaneously they open their respective doors and quickly buckle themselves in. "Alright, I know this is a short drive up the mountain, but everyone is buckled correct?", Tyler askes looking in the rearview mirror.

"Yes, sir", Peeta answers. I turn quickly at him saying 'sir' to a boy that can't be more than 18 and raise my eyebrows at him. Peeta just shrugs his shoulders and extends his hand over to me on the seat. I roll my eyebrows, smile and look out the window before reaching my hand back toward his. I watch as the sun slowly starts to set and realize Peeta couldn't have picked a better time to dine here.

We're silent for the short drive and Tyler pulls in front of a podium with two more guys dressed as he is. Before I can even move, one of them have already opened my door and are greeting me by name. "Ms. Everdeen, how are you this evening?", he says with a soft smile.

"Very well, thank you", I say, slightly confused as to how he knows my name. He turns his head to then lead us into the building when I see an ear piece and realize they were informed of who we were when we left the front desk. The entrance to the restaurant is similar to the resort, a grand ceiling but instead of velvet and soft features, its more rustic. Ski equipment adorns the wall behind the hostess stand, just incase you didn't know where you were. Peeta takes my hand again as we approach the stand and I can't help but lace my hand through his.

I never once wanted nor felt the need to do this with Gale. Maybe it was because our relationship was a secret and this one isn't but holding Peeta's hand just feels right.

"Mr. Mellark, good evening", the suited woman behind the hostess stand smiles brightly.

"Good evening", Peeta starts and leans in squinting his eyes slightly before continuing, "Savanna".

"We have a table ready for you if you'd like to sit now", Savanna says, looking between the two of us and her small tablet.

"That would be lovely", Peeta says turning toward me for agreement and I acknowledge it with a soft smile.

"Absolutely, follow me", she smiles and leads us into the dining room. On the left is the open kitchen, with cooks gracefully working, and who I can only assume are the sous chef plating the dishes. I want to stop and watch because I miss the luxury of food running and watching the plating of food but keep pace with Peeta following the hostess. She leads us past diners out onto a covered patio to a table that just happens to be strategically placed to face the mountains.

"You're too much", I say chuckling as I slid into the booth

"Some people would argue that I'm not enough", he smiles back and takes his seat beside me. It won't matter what happens next, the food could be awful, wine corked and service down right sloppy because I'm happy. I'm happy with who I'm with. I can feel myself smile, just staring at him. "What?", he asks with a confused look and before I'm able to answer as server comes over and offers us water, followed by another with all the menus.

"My name is Jessica, I'll be working with Clark and if you have any questions please let either of us know", Jessica says smiling, nodding and backing away from the table. She walks frantically off, as I scan the rest of the patio and realize its almost full.

I ignore the menu for the moment looking out at the mountains. I'm brought out of my stance when Peeta nudges me repeatedly. "Hey, did you want to do the tasting menu or the regular four-course?", he asks cautiously.

"Well I took care of the head sommelier a year ago and he told me if I ever came up here to dine that he would pour wine as the meal progressed. I guess really I need", I stop mid-sentence as the man I was just mentioning introduces himself.

"Katniss! Its lovely to see you again!", he says. "Peeta Mellark, a pleasure to meet you", he says extending his hand toward Peeta, who meets his gaze and hand and shakes firmly.

"It's nice to meet you", Peeta says trailing wanting to say his name but can't because he doesn't know it.

"Seneca Crane. I'm a sommelier here at Rocky Mountain. I don't know if Katniss told you, but I dined at Capitol Bistro a year ago when she just passed her certified exam", he says gesturing toward me.

"Then I guess its almost been two years because I'm on the short list now for advanced", I say softly.

"Oh wonderful! Now before we get too far into conversation, I know you have to be eyeing that tasting menu this evening", he says with a sly smile. "And I know that wines I picked tonight are incredible but I have some special wines picked for you all. I have others as well open that I want you to try as were expanding our cellar again. But those are tries, do you have a price for each glass that I pour for you?", he askes looking between the two of us.

I look toward Peeta because I don't know how much he is willing to spend on all of this. "Katniss, you know more about wine than I do. This is for you", he says reaching out for my hand, smiling and our eyes meet. "Whatever you want, just as long as it isn't triple digit or more", he says laughing, relaxing back into his chair.

"I like his style", Seneca laughs and smiles. I watch out of the corner of my eye as he turns his full attention on me, as I contemplate a price, and I see Peeta watch me.

"$50 a glass. And please only keep it to four glasses. I think you can do that for eight courses right?", I say turning toward him.

"I absolutely can accommodate that", Seneca smiles, nods and walks away.

"Peeta, are you sure about this?", I say resting my menu down.

"Katniss", he says sitting back up. "I have never been more sure of anything. I want us to enjoy ourselves and I know this is a place that has incredible wines and I'm not going to waste a reservation for us to just simply taste the wines on the tasting menu if you said he would do just as he just said", he says resting his hand on my thigh. "I also thought you were going to say a lot more than you just did so that's a start", he chuckles quietly and stares off into the horizon.

We watch the sun set slowly as we enjoy the first few courses with a sauvignon blanc that Seneca says is the perfect wine for falling in love and eating as much food as possible. He comes back at course four with a Dugat I'll probably never forget. It lingers on my tongue and I start to lose myself into Peeta's sea blue eyes. We talk aimlessly about the past few weeks, the parts we left out over FaceTime and I slowly watch as the final bit of orange turns to purple when I decide to mention the timing of the reservation.

"You did this on purpose didn't you?"

"Did what?", Peeta askes after a bite of a mussel dish I would have never thought to put together.

"The timing of our reservation", I say swirling my wine. "The place", I gesture around us with my wine. "Even my fucking dress", I say looking down. "You and your sunset color. I'm never going to get this orange color out of my head, you know that right?", I say staring intently at him.

"I'd say that was the plan but honestly this was the only time I could get on short notice", Peeta says trailing off. He stares down at his wine glass, like he wants to say more and I watch his smile grow just a little bigger.

"What's so funny?", I ask as Clark clears our table. Peeta remains silent a moment longer as formulates what to say.

"Remember the favor I said Coach Beetee owed me?", he asks, and I just stare at him to encourage a response. "Well, these past two months I couldn't mention anything about you to media, teammates, coaching staff or top tier people. I had to fold into line and be just a baseball player and take whatever questions were asked toward me and answer appropriately. If I didn't comply I would be kicked off the team. Cut without going to the minors. I said I would agree to it if and only if the team's media crew didn't bug me about anything related to you. He agreed and jokingly offered up a reservation here because he was sure that the media crew wouldn't cross that line if he told them not to. Well, about two weeks ago, I was in an interview and was asked by one of our representatives if my break up with you was the reason I was having problems getting hits. I don't know if you watched the interview, but I know I cringed and flinched, an eye twitched and tried to say it was just shoulder inflammation and I tried to keep my personal life out of baseball.

"I went to coach immediately after the interview, up in arms and him already on the phone with the resort. I thought it was going to take weeks but apparently, he has a pending reservation that he put my name down for if an interview went south. He said the resort would be able to accommodate any date within the next two weeks so when you said you were available this night, I jumped at the opportunity and this was the only time that worked with the game today.

"So as much as I want to say this was planned, it was more or less out of luck. And honestly I've never felt more lucky to share this view, food and wine with you. I wouldn't change what has happened for anything, Katniss", he says trailing. We hold each other's stare with soft smiles and all I want to do is lean over and kiss him but refrain as Seneca comes back.

"Oh you two love birds! I have a mid-meal treat! Along with your chips and caviar, I wanted to pour Clandestin Les Semblables", he says, and he starts explaining everything about the producer. I nod along but continue to think about Peeta's hand that is slowly making rubbing motions closer to the hem of my dress. "And for your next two courses of egg and duck, I know you mentioned your interest in Lost District, and I just so happen to have a pinot noir from 1990", he says smiling pouring the bottle.

"You all have Lost District Pinot?", I ask as I feel my mouth drop. The Lost District is located just beyond the Panem national line and due to political debates, any products made there is the hardest to import. The fact that The Chalet has a bottle is unbelievable, but that Seneca is pouring a glass is down right impossible. "Why?", I ask as I take the first magically smell of the gorgeously preserved wine.

"Well the wine just before your birth year is always the most interesting because its actually history", he says with a smile. "It's the wine vintage that you realize you were never taking a breath on this earth, but life was still going on. And now twenty-eight years later were enjoying. And if you really want to know why I'm pouring this wine for you, on the house because were already eating the price", he mumbles slightly before continuing, "Some dipshit pulled the wrong bottle and opened it", he says rolling his eyes before laughing.

"Are you serious?", I ask taking a sip.

"I am", he says with a soft smile. "Sometimes a small accident can be beneficial and a great story to tell later on. I could tell you a bunch about this producer and such but I know you already know a lot about him because once the line went down in 2000 he moved to Europe in protest. Katniss enjoy this, I'll be back before your steak course," Seneca nods and smiles leaving the table.

"I, wow", is all I say, smelling my glass again. I smile and think that he could have come up with that story to open that bottle but try to take in that some good things just happen.

Our next course is presented, enjoyed and cleared as Peeta talks about how the game went today. I didn't want to bring it up but what he did was incredible.

"Was it the look?", I ask setting down my fork, picking up my glass and swirling it gently. Our duck course is presented as Peeta takes the extra moment to think about what to say.

"What look?", Peeta asks raising his one eyebrow. We stare at each other and I hope to telepathically tell him what I'm talking about. His eyes go wide when he realizes the moment I'm talking about. "Oh, I. Maybe? Katniss I don't exactly think that was it", he says turning his face down to his plate. He moves his fork aimlessly on the plate.

"You just don't want to admit that I may be your good luck charm", I say with leaning back in the booth, enjoying my tipsy state of mind and admiring the man in front of me.

"Katniss, I don't believe in that for baseball. I never have", he says quietly. "I had to work for everything I got, and honestly the pitcher made a mistake leaving the ball up in the strike zone. It doesn't happen that often for me because pitchers now know where not to throw to me but its just one of the few times that the pitcher made a mistake and I capitalized. That throw could have happened at any other time and it would have just been another home run for me." He mimics my position once he finishes but doesn't turn to face me.

"Oh", is all I breathe out, realizing Peeta doesn't think he's as incredible as he is. I don't know how to start, to try to tell him that he is and what he did, well, was something incredible. We then finish our next course in silence, returning to my relaxed position once I'm done. Peeta again does the same, resting his hand on the table. I instinctively reach out and rest my hand on his as Clark clears our plates quickly.

In the silence I watch as service continues around us and slowly the restaurant is emptying. Seneca returns a few moments later and can obviously sense something is different about our table and only briefly explains the last wine. I nod my head and agree with the tasting notes he explains, without prompting any questions. He leaves almost immediately after he pours each of us a glass.

I finally pull my hand away when the last course is set in front of us. "You two look really cute together", the server says smiling before practically running away. Peeta and I turn toward each other, hold each other's stare and bust out laughing.

"Us? Cute?", I say in between laughs.

"Apparently", Peeta says finally, before picking up his fork. "Okay, but was he being serious when you could smell green bell peppers in the wine because that just seems impossible."

"It's Bionic Frog, anything earthy is definitely in this wine", I say with a smirk.

"But I'm allergic", his eyes going wide. I can tell he's being sarcastic because I've complained about this exact situation to him before. I roll my eyes at him before responding.

"First, you are not because you said your favorite part of the first dish was the bell pepper puree. Second, don't make me slap you for saying that", I say smiling at him. He smiles his goofy grin and I can't help but shake my head, "stop that", I say quietly.

"Stop what?", he says in between bites.

"I don't know", I say quietly.

"Well that isn't very helpful Katniss", he says again pushing away his plate and picking up his wine glass. "If I recall, you said something about Cinna wanting you to be clearer with what you mean and what you want", his eyebrows raise slightly, and he tips his head toward me. I know he's being suggestive and I know he knows what I want him to say but I can't bring myself to say it.

"I'll be right back", I say sliding around the booth and weaving my way back through the dining room to find the bathroom. I'm directed by a server in the right direction and I quickly lock the door behind me. I look myself in the mirror and try to give myself a silent pep talk.

"You can do this. You can be with Peeta. Everything will be okay", I say as quietly as possible, so no one thinks I'm crazy. I pace around the small bathroom a few more times before I build up the courage to unlock the door and walk back to the table. On the way back, I stop at the sommelier station to thank Seneca for a wonderful meal.

"Seneca," I say taping his shoulder. He turns with a wide grin on his face, "Thank you for the incredible wines tonight. Everything has been lovely", I say with a smile.

"Well, your meal isn't quite over yet!", he says excitedly, pointing toward a bottle on the stand. My eyes go wide as I read the label.

"Oh, you don't have to do that", I say feeling my cheeks blush at his gesture.

"No, no it my pleasure", he says gesturing for me to lead the way back to the table.

"Seneca, has a surprise for us", I say smiling at Peeta as I sit back down.

"Now I could go on about one hundred year old Madeira but that seems like a waster of time because I only have ninety-seven year old Madeira", a wicked grin grosses his face as I feel an even bigger smile grow on my face at the fact I get to taste the oldest wine I've ever seen. I reach my hand toward Peeta and am unforuntely met with the soft leather of the booth. I look to him to see him fiddling with something.

"I could also go on about the morning view from 'Great Spruce' that you're going to experience but you'll just have to wait until tomorrow", he nods and turns away from the table.

"What is he talking about?", I ask, turning my head toward Peeta, and I watch him pull a key out of his pocket.

"I, uh, well. I got us a room", he smiles softly. My eyes go wide at his intentions and feel my stomach do flips and its definitely not because of the alcohol. I watch as his smile fades as I contemplate what to say next. "I, um, I knew I shouldn't have assumed but when we got here I asked jokingly if there was a room available. I didn't think they would come back with anything, but while you were in the bathroom, Seneca brought over the key. We don't have to", is the last thing I hear him say as I scout closer so I can kiss him.

It takes a moment for him to register that I'm kissing him, but he quickly relaxes his lips and he kisses me back. Our kiss is slow and lingering, and I pull away before he or I can deepen it.

"Katniss", I hear him say under his breath. I keep my eyes down so I can collect myself before I tell him that I want to be with him.

"Okay", I say quietly, looking back up at him. His pupils are dilated and he starts to shift awkwardly.

"Okay", he finally says with a smile. I relax back closer to where I was but I don't let his hand go, as he moves it back to where it started this meal off. He picks back up the same motion but deliberately stays away from the hem line of my dress.

Our dessert courses come and go, as we enjoy our glass of Madeira and talk about our upcoming weeks. He has seven more games at home before leaving again and I tell him about my final meeting with Haymitch.

"Are you sure?", he asks, setting down his empty glass.

"I don't have to pay for college anymore nor for Prim's. She has a full academic scholarship and a full-time job at a hospital doing research", I say shrugging my shoulders. "Plus, Prim is able to help pay for my mother's bills so now I only have to forfeit a quarter of my paycheck to her. Modeling was just something to help pay for all of that."

"Do you think you would move closer to them?", he asks we a sad smile.

"District 4 doesn't exactly have many places with prestigious wine programs as does the Capitol. So currently no", I say, trying to reassure him.

"I hate to get into this but, would you move with me if I was traded to another team?", he asks, staring intently at me.

"Why such serious questions on our first date?", I ask jokingly.

"Well if you think about it, we've been dating for just over a year", he says. "Granted you were dating someone else and hated me for most of it, but we went on a lot of dates over the past year. Oh, and we were engaged at one point", he finishes with a chuckle.

"I, wow", is all I say as I realize Peeta didn't think of this as a first date. I must look scared because immediately Peeta removes his hand from me.

"I didn't mean to scare you Katniss, but", he starts, "but I was kind of hoping we could just pick up where we left off, before the engagement, just minus the whole Gale thing. If you don't want to do that then I can drop this key back off because I would never assume that of you on a first date. Nor would I have been as confident that I could hold your hand, take you up here to this restaurant. I definitely would not have touched you the way I was", he's stumbling over his words now as he tries to explain himself. I try my best not to laugh, realizing how stupid I was to assume this was a first date. "And now your laughing because I thought this wasn't a first date, great", he says with a huff.

"No, no. I'm actually laughing at you trying to explain yourself", I say in between laughs. "But really I was more nervous for this because I did think this was a first date, but it really isn't. We've been talking for the past two months like we had been together for a year or more. It's just, I wanted", I pause as I try to put the together how I want to say this in my tipsy state of mind. "Peeta, this is the first date that there's no string attached, no obligations, no expectations of others to meet. Its just us. Its our real first date, even if we've been on multiple before. I was freaking out so much over this first date that, Joanna had to drag me out of the house to get this dress. I was telling her that it was too much for a first date but she said that this wasn't a first date.

"I honestly, I guess, before we started photo shoots together, no one put me in orange mainly because I hated the way I looked in it. But that first rooftop shoot with you, the only dress that looked good on me was the orange one and I'll never forget the way you looked at me that day. So I guess that's why I picked this dress and I guess what I'm saying now is I was stupid to assume this was a first date because we know each other. We've been on dates before but this one just means something and you can shut me up at any time now Peeta because I'm pretty sure I'm rambling", I finish by waving my hands around. He has his goofy grin on his face again

"Wow", is all he says as he tries not to laugh.

"Oh, c'mon now", I saying, rolling my eyes.

"No really, wow. I don't think a girl has ever bought a dress solely because I liked the color", he says softly, and moves over closer to me. "Now, that we've cleared up the whole first date not first date issue, may I take you to this room, they so generously gave us for the evening?", Peeta whispers in my ear, sending a chill all over my body. I nod my approval and move to get up from the table.

We're the last two in the dining room, so I move closer to Peeta as he wraps his arm around my waist. We thank our server from across the dining room and make our way back toward the front, where there is a car waiting for us. Peeta tells the driver were in 'Great Spruce' before climbing in the car behind me. I don't scout all the way over to the other side, opting for the middle seat. Our driver doesn't ask about our belts this time and drives slowly back down the mountain top.

I rest my head on Peeta's shoulder, as I let the blissfulness of a fantastic meal and alcohol set in. One of Peeta's arms is wrapped around my waist while his other hand is resting on my thigh, and if we weren't staying the night, I would probably have to have Peeta stop somewhere so we could fuck.

I try to shake the thoughts from my head but who am I kidding? I want Peeta and from the sounds of it, Peeta would have no objections to it either. Our driver stops in front of a cottage and informs us that 'Great Spruce' the cottage on the left. We thank him, as Peeta helps me out of the car.

Peeta leads me through the dark and now I can't help but wrap my arms around him and rest my head on his back as he tries to open the door. "Kat, you can't do that while I'm trying to open this door", he says jokingly.

"Kat? Is that a new nickname? I kinda like it", I whisper into his ear before starting to kiss down his neck. I hear him groan and keys drop to the ground. He whips around quickly, placing both hands on my sides, spinning us around and pushes me gently up against the door. There's barely any light but I can see his blue eyes staring intently down at me and take a large breath in as my brain runs through all the possibilities that could happen in this moment. He's breathing heavily and I see he's doing the same thing, contemplating if what we want to happen right now is going to happen outside of the cottage or if one of us will back down and actually get the door open.

"Katniss", he hisses out as I move my hands as I retrieve the key from the ground.

"I believe you dropped this", I say dangling the keys in his face. I turn around to attempt to unlock the door, but he does the same to me. Except he's more daring and slips his hands into the slits of my dress. "You're going to have to remove your hands from my dress if you want this door open", I say as he continues to kiss down my neck.

"Maybe I don't want the door open", he mumbles between kisses.

"I, I", I try my best to start a sentence, but I can't focus with Peeta kisses trailing on my neck. "I know you definitely want that door open because I'm not going to let you fuck me out here on the porch", I finally say and feel Peeta's hands come out of dress.

"Well then, Katniss", he starts whispering in my ear, "open this door so I can fuck you". I promptly do so as he says 'you', and we fall into the room. He slams the door shut behind him and I drag him toward where I think the bed is. I try to turn back toward him, but he has his hands firmly on my sides, swaying us to nonexistent music. He starts kissing down my neck again and I let out a soft moan when he reaches a particularly sensitive area, prompting him to stay there and suck a little harder. I can feel my arousal start to pool between my legs.

"Peeta," I moan out slowly as I feel him start to unzip my dress.

"Yes, Katniss?", he asks, nibbling on my ear. His grip loosens on my sides and I can turn in his arms toward him and I feel my dress start to slowly fall off my shoulders.

"Take my dress off", I whisper into his ear and pull back to look at him. Before I can say another word, his lips are on mine, his hands are pushing my dress down, and I try my best to shimmy out of the tight fabric. Peeta's hands come back up and cup both of my breasts as we make out.

Our slow, methodical movements allow for me to untuck his shirt and start to unbutton it. My inebriated state however makes it difficult so Peeta takes over the task which allows me to run my hands through his hair, pulling him closer to me. The next thing I know Peeta, is pushing me down onto the bed and before he can push me back, I look back up toward him, running my hands up his legs.

"Kat", I hear him hiss, watching him close his eyes. I try my best to keep my eyes on his face as I attempt to unbuckle his belt and unzip his pants. His hands move from my shoulders to my hair as I push his pants down slowly, leaving him in his boxers. I finally look down at Peeta's crotch and I can feel my eyes go wide seeing the outline of his dick.

Without hesitation, I cup his balls through his boxer in my hand and stare back up at him. It may be dark, but I can still see his piercing blue eyes staring back at me in awe and lust. I try my best not to smirk at how I'm turning him on and bring my hands to either side of his boxers, slowly pulling them down. We don't break eye contact as I take his dick in my hand and begin to rub his length up and down. Peeta's eyes shut and his mouth gapes slightly has his breathing picks up.

He starts running his hands through my hair, slowly moving my head down toward his dick. I relax and give in, gently pressing my lips to the tip. "Fuck", Peeta moans softly. "Suck it, Kat", he demands through his teeth. I continue to move my hand up and down, spitting to make it easier, not submitting to his demand. I cock my head to the side, keeping our eyes locked and wait for him to ask again. "Please, Kat", he begs quietly, and I slowly move my head to the bottom of his dick.

I lick from his balls all the way to the tip, watching Peeta the whole time. "Oh, god", he breathes out. Moving slowly, I open my mouth and attempt to take all of him in at once, fighting back the urge to choke. "Fuck, Kat", I hear him say and I don't dare look up as I pull back, opting to continue with the blow job. I switch between speeds, trying to figure out what Peeta likes when I realize he's tangled his fingers in my hair and has been controlling my movements. In protest, I fully release his dick from my mouth, opting for just my hand.

"And what exactly do you think you're doing?", I ask, slowing my pace on his dick. He bends slightly, and slowly breathes in my ear before speaking.

"I was wondering if you were going to notice. I didn't take you for a girl to be completely submissive", he whispers while he nuzzles into my neck.

"Now I could continue but", I say as I continue to move my hand slowly.

"As much as I would love for you to do that, I have other plans for tonight", he whispers softly in my ear. He recoils up and slowly drops to his knees, pulling me quiet aggressively toward the edge of the bed. I gasp slightly and allow for Peeta to practically rip my panties off. I shiver slightly as the heated article is removed and my dripping pussy meets the cool air of the room.

I lean my head back into the bed as he slowly slips a finger into me. I gasp slightly at the sensation and move my hips to adjust to his slow movements. As if he can read my mind, Peeta inserts another finger and picks up his pace. I hear myself moan as he curls his fingers around to my most sensitive spot.

"Fuck, Peeta", I moan out as he continues his attack on that area. He removes his fingers from me and I'm only briefly disappointed until he continues his assault with his tongue on to my clit. "Oh, oh", I breathe out as I feel that familiar feeling building, but its different. I don't want to think of it but Gale was able to get me off but only because I had to show him specifics.

Peeta just knows. He inserts his fingers again before removing his tongue and replacing them with his thumb. In slow circle motions he applies a small amount of pressure while continuing to move his fingers in and out of me. I instinctively move my hands from the bed to his hair and lace my fingers through his locks. I don't know if I pull him up or he moves but his mouth is then on my right breast sucking hard.

"Fuck", I hiss as I watch his head move to the other. The stimulation he's giving me is almost enough for me to finish, but Peeta has slowed his paced down, focusing his attention on my nipples. His fingers that were on my clit have moved to the nipple he isn't sucking on. "Peetaaa", I moan out as I watch him continue to suck on every part of my left breast. I don't know if the sucking or the fact that the possibility of bruises are turning me on more. I feel an unfamiliar warmth run down my thigh as Peeta removes his fingers from me.

"Did you just?", Peeta stops and pulls back from me, looking down.

"Did I what?", I look back up at him, wide eyed, confused as to what he means.

"Squirt", Peeta says dumbfounded.

"I, uh," I start slightly embarrassed, shaking my head unaware of what has happened. I try sitting up to see but Peeta pushes me back and presses his lips on mine. Our kiss is heated as he slowly grinds his hips against mine. He pulls away slightly to speak.

"Its fine, don't worry. I just didn't expect that", he says.

"Well I've never done that, so I don't know what to say", I say back to him and reach down to grab his dick.

"Oh", he gasps out.

"Condom", I attempt to say as I watch Peeta scramble off of me. I lay on the bed and watch as his shadow attempts to find his pants, then his wallet and then for what I just said. I hear the foil packet rip and close my eyes trying my best to control myself into realizing what's about to happen next. Peeta crawls back over me and plants a searing kiss onto my lips, our bodies slowly melding together. He pulls back, hovering slightly above me. I can see he wants to say something but refrains as he reaches down to adjust himself to thrust into me.

He slowly pushes into me and we both let out heavy sighs. He doesn't move at first and brings his head to my ear. "Kat, I said I want you earlier and not just in this way. I want us to be out there, I want all of you. I want you for your craziness, I want you for your ego, I want you for your ambitions, I want you for your flaws, I want you for everything you are, I want you for you. This is what I meant", he finishes and starts kissing behind my ear.

"Peeta", I sigh out. I feel tears prick my eyes at his words. I grasp his head with both my hands and pull him back toward my face. His eyes must be what mine look like, slightly watery with a dreary pain. "As much as I want to agree with you", I start, trying not to get too choked up. "But I don't think now is that time. I want you to fuck me. And I know you want to fuck me. So can we please just do that and discuss you wanting me later?", I say and before I can tell him my next thought he has my legs hooked behind his arms and unrelentingly fucking me.

Between my moans and Peeta's balls slapping me, I'm glad that were in an individua cottage. Peeta slows down, pulls out and before I can complain his hands are turning me over. Obliging, I wiggle my ass back awaiting him to slip back in. He does, while pushing my upper back down. I try to keep up with him, but he ends up grabbing my hips to move at his pace. His size and pace are almost too much for me but he somehow keeps me from orgasming. I try to get myself there by using my hands on my clit but he slaps my hand away.

"Not yet", he whispers in my ear as he grabs my breasts harshly. I don't know when the attitude about this changed but I'm enjoying dominate Peeta. "You can't finish until after I do," he starts and slows his pace before continuing, "which might not be long because you feel absolutely incredible."

With him slowing his pace, I try to create my own pace, being greeted by Peeta's moans and tighter grip on my breasts.

"What did I just say", he says through his teeth, moving his hands up to my neck pulling me back toward him. He continues to thrust into me moving his one hand down on to my clit. His movements are slow and methodical, allowing me to relax into his touches.

"Fuck, Peeta", I moan, allowing him to push me back down. He removes himself and his hands motion me to flip back over. He is quickly back inside me, thrusting with a pace I couldn't imagine. My pleasure and orgasm build unexpectedly, as Peeta continues fucking me senseless.

"You just did it again and I'm going to fucking come because that was so hot", I can't completely comprehend what he just said but he pulls out quickly, ripping off his condom and jerking himself off quickly, cumming onto my stomach. Peeta falls onto me, breathing heavily. I want to push him off but his body on me feels oddly comforting. I wrap my arms around his body and allow us to fall to our sides.

I think I hear him say something, but I can't quite comprehend it in my post bliss sleepy state. I attempt to smile and nod, then curl my naked body into his, before drifting off into a much-needed sleep.

* * *

 **A/N: I have to be honest, I don't know if this story will continue beyond this. If i do, it might be a long while before another chapter is uploaded**


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